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Bird Crafts		 Enchanted Learning
ALL ABOUT BIRDS!
Books to Print
All About Birds Extreme Birds: Biggest, etc. Fossils and Evolution Early Birds Birds as Symbols Birds and People Bird Jokes Bird Printouts Activities and Worksheets

HA HA HA!
BIRD JOKES
 HA HA HA!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To get to the other side!

Q: Why did the monster cross the road?

A: To eat the chicken!

Thanks to Ethan R., Age 7, Los Angeles, CA

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

A: It was the chicken's day off!

Q: What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A: A brick layer!

Q: If a rooster lays an egg on the middle of a slanted roof, on which side will it fall?

A: Neither side. Roosters don't lay eggs!
Thanks to Levi G, Age 11 from Jay, Maine, USA

Q: What did the sick chicken say?

A: "I have the people-pox!"

Q: Who tells the best chicken jokes?

A: Comedi-HENS!

Q: What figure is like a lost parrot ?

A: A polygon!

Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark ?

A: A bird that talks your ear off!

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot ?

A: A carrot !

Q: Why was the chicken afraid of the chicken?

A: Because he was chicken!
This joke was made up by: Kerry M. age 12 from CT, USA.

Q: Daughter: Mum, can I have a canary for Christmas ?

A: Mum: NO! You'll have turkey like everyone else!
from Raiss, Australia - Thanks Raiss!

Q: Why do hummingbirds hum ?

A: Because they forgot the words!

Q: What do you get if you cross a canary and a 50-foot long snake ?

A: A sing-a-long!

Q: Where does a 500-pound canary sit ?

A: Anywhere it wants!

Q: How do you get down off an elephant?

A: You don't, you get down off a duck!

Q: How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend ?

A: In a HEN-velope!

Q: What does a duck like to eat with soup ?

A: Quackers!

Q: Why did the owl say, "Tweet, tweet."?

A: Because she didn't give a hoot!

Q: What books did the owl like?

A: Hoot-dunits!

Q: What is a chick after she's 6 days old?

A: Seven days old!

Q: Why does a flamingo stand on one leg?

A: Because if he lifted that leg off the ground he would fall down !

Q: Where does a peacock go when it loses its tail?

A: A re-tail store!

Q: What's yellow, weighs 1,000 pounds, and sings ?

A: Two 500 pound canaries!

Q: Which side of a parrot has the prettiest feathers ?

A: The outside!

Q: What do you give a sick bird?

A: Tweetment!

Q: What did the 500 pound canary say?

A: Here Kitty, Kitty !

Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter?

A: Because it's too far to walk!

Daffynition: Illegal--a sick bird.

Q: Why do seagulls live near the sea?

A: Because if they lived near the bay, they would be called bagels !

Q: What happens when a duck flies upside down?

A: It quacks up!

Q: What did the duck say after he went shopping?

A: "Put it on my bill!"

Q: Which animal grows down ?

A: A duck !

Q: What's the difference between a duck with one wing and a duck with two wings?

A: Why, that's a difference of a pinion!

Q: Did you hear the story about the peacock ?

A: No, but I heard it's a beautiful tale (tail)!

Q: What kind of bird can carry the most weight?

A: The crane !

Q: What's noisier than a whooping crane ?

A: A trumpeting swan!

Q: Why do hens lay eggs ?

A: If they dropped them, they'd break!

Q: What bird is with you at every meal ?

A: A swallow!

Robert: Did you hear the joke about the broken egg?

Audrey: Yes, it cracked me up!

Q: What's smarter than a talking parrot ?

A: A spelling bee !

Q: How do chickens bake a cake ?

A: From scratch!

Q: Why can't a rooster ever get rich?

A: Because he works for chicken feed!

Silly boy: I'd like to buy some bird seed.

Clerk: How many birds do you have?

Silly boy: None! I want to grow some!

Q: What do you call a crate of ducks ?

A: A box of quackers!

Silly girl: Why does your son say, "Cluck, cluck, cluck".

Mrs. Poulet: Because he thinks he's a chicken .

Silly girl: Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken ?

Mrs. Poulet: Because we need the eggs .

Q: What key won't open any door ?

A: A turkey!

Q: What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cow ?

A: Roost beef!

Q: What bird is always sad?

A: The blue jay !

Q: Why did the chicken go to the seance?

A: To get to the other side!

Many thanks to Antal, the six-year-old joke-meister!

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