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What is your Favorite Dinosaur? (Favorite Dinosaurs from Late Dec. 2000) What is your favorite dinosaur and why? |
I understand
from Honkie Tong,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 31, 2000
Shaddup fake Razorclaw! The real Razorclaw
will never vote for the raptors! Stop calling that Megaraptor wimpy
lawer of yours becasue YOU are the fake Razorclaw and have no case.
The real Razorclaw rules!!!!!!! Here's a vote for
T.Rex.
from Lillian T.,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 31, 2000
HA HA HA HA HA, Here we go again...what's
it with raptor fans and Megaraptors? I mean, Megaraptor isn't even a
dromaeosaurid yet they keep using its name like it's one. Well, that
shows the scope of the intelligence of the raptor fans. Knowing
nothing right about dinosaurs besides raptors. Here's one for T.Rex.
Dromaeosaurid-like? Megaraptor wasn't even dromaeosaurid like, it was
much closer to Unenlagia than the true dromaeosaurid s. It seems that
the raptor fans are so desprate to find something that can remotely
take on T.Rex, that they have to include an aninmal that isn't even
remotely a dromaeosaurid! Ha! What a joke! What a mockery! What a show
of desperate people trying to defend their
rapidly-dininishing-in-siginifance dromaeosaurids. It's a real show
folks! Lets see what they can come up with next!
Ps. Bill in dinotalk explained why Megaraptor can't possibly be a
dromaeosaurid, lets see what he wrote:
Well, whatever it is, Megaraptor is certainly not a dromaeosaur at
all: metatarsals all wrong, pubis too ventral, ischium lacking a
proper obturator, and long bones much too light. And the skull's
palatal was too thick, antorbital fenestrae too rostral, distal carina
too small, not to mention the trenchant ungual was hardly present…oh,
the list goes on. I didn't know what Razorclaw was thinking, but
Megaraptor is certainly not a raptor.
Oh yes, even the validity of Utahraptor has been called into question.
But watch this news, for it's for the future.
Thanks Bill.
Oh yes, if I'm not wrong, it should be about one hour to the 21st
century at your time zone JC, right?
from Honkie Tong,
age 16,
Singapore,
Singapore,
Singapore;
December 31, 2000
About 2 (we're on daylight savings time (PST), which changes it by an hour) - but we've already started celebrating. JC
Megaraptor a dromaeosaurid? He he, tell
him the truth JC, before we all start bursting out laughing. He
he.
from THE REAL RAZORCLAW,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 31, 2000
You guys are getting me very angry, and
for the last time, STOP USING MY NAME!!!!!!!!!! This is the worst
case of inpersonation I have ever seen,and I'm going to call my
lawyer. He's a megaraptor, (a dromaeosaurid-like dinosaur that's
bigger than me), and he happens to have a taste for sushi, preferably
HUMAN sushi. The real Razorclaw, (which is me) will always vote for
raptors, and I'm voting for them. (Just so you'll understand, this
vote is for raptors.)
from Razorclaw,
age ?,
?,
(Used to live in Utah),
Mongoalia;
December 31, 2000
Hello everybody! All of us here in
Singapore want to wish you a happy new year! It's already the 21st
century and the new millennium here in Singapore! I know you people
are still a little behind us, but hang on in there, you'll be there
soon! But as of now, 2.27 am my local time, Jan 1, 2001, we are still
a century and a millennium apart. This is the first vote for
Tyrannosaurus Rex in the 21st century and second millennium! I'm
honored to put in the first vote for the best dinosaur
ever.
from Honkie Tong,
age 16,
Singapore,
Singapore,
Singapore;
December 31, 2000
Carnatorous: because its a meat eater like
me, steps on cars, the way it runs, big sharp teeth, and if toys were
real carnatorous would bite them.
from Antonio R,
age 4,
Cincinnati,
Ohio,
USA;
December 31, 2000
My favorite dinosaur is
t-rex,pentaceratops,brontosaurus,stegosaurus, and parasaurolopholus
because the are all neat
from Nicole B,
age 10,
Taylor,
Pennsylvania,
United States Of Amrica;
December 31, 2000
My Favourite Dinosaur is the
one and only --Allosaurs.Because it is
so it is so big and powerful.
from Ooi J.,
age 11,
Kota Kinabalu,
Sabah,
Malaysia;
December 30, 2000
Alamosaurus...because he was
among the last of the sauropods of North America, and
little is known about it.
from Edwin B,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 30, 2000
tyrannosaurus rex
from conor,
age 13,
meath,
leinster,
ireland;
December 30, 2000
anklosaras
its armour
from luther c,
age 7,
sonoma,
CA,
USA;
December 30, 2000
Diemetredon because it has a sail on its
back
from Ernest H,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 30, 2000
oh, and by the way, dino wartz (stop calling
it dinowartz!) ....
from coolcat,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 30, 2000
i feel ashamed to be a raptr fan. dude! give
me a break! T.REX HAD A MUCH BIGGER BRAIN THAN ALOT OF DINOSAURS, and
t.rex has been proven to be very smart. shows how much you know. i vote
t.rex
i am now a trex fan.
from coolcat,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 30, 2000
LISTEN TO ME! I HAVE BEEN OVERGLORIFIED BY
..., I AM ACTUALLY JUST A USELESS UTAHRAPTOR! UTAHRAPTORS ARE ALL
USELESS! EVEN A IGUANADON HATCHING CAN KILL US!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
from Razorclaw,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 29, 2000
trex
from ?,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 29, 2000
I'm a raptor fan, but I agree that ...! It's blatantly obvious that T.Rex coudl kick, but he
stills goes on to say people who designed the model are luantics?!
gEEZE! He makes me ashamed to be a raptor fan. Look, my fellow
Tyrannosaurus fans, nto all raptor fans are like this, to prove it to
you, here's a vote for Rex.
from Utahraptor,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 29, 2000
your jokes are dry tasteless and certainly
not funny. T.REX RULEZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
from ?,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 29, 2000
What do you mean brudder? The model clearly
shows T.Rex can kick and stand on one leg. If Tyrannosaurus can hop on
one leg, why can't he kick? Tell me lah? And here's a vote for T.rex
lah.
from Short F.,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 29, 2000
Jimmy here. Joe Bob B, what makes you think
that that modeler has a mental problem? If I'm not wrong, the person who
designed this was a paleontologist! Well, from what I have seen, T-Rex
could certainly kick. If you claim T-Rex can't kick, then Utahraptor
can't jump, as he weighed a full ton. T-Rex was faster and more agile
than the raptors. Not to mention smarter. Limited intelligence?
Ha!
from Jimmy L,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 29, 2000
The secret to the sucess of Dino Warz is
that I try not to be a stubborn, pompus overbearing idiot like somebody
here. If you piss off everybody here, nobody is going to read your
fanfic, much less have anything good to say about it.
from Billy Macdraw,
age 18,
?,
?,
?;
December 29, 2000
YOu know something Joe, Bob, since you love
putting down anybody who disagrees with you, I guess you doing DWF is a
waste, becasue even raptor fans are dissed by you. ... By the way, new studies have indicated that T.Rex
was smarter than the raptors. Don't believe? Want me to show you the
evidence?
from Lilian T.,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 29, 2000
Goodness gracious, how can you insult Steve
Reed, the world's premier modeler? How can you just insult anybody?
Steve Reed also sulpts very good raptor models and here you are
insulting him. Well, if you ask me, T.Rex can jolly welll kick ... T.Rex, this's a vote for yer.
from ?,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 29, 2000
Jimmy L, for your information, that
suggestion for Sue being called "Rockbrain" was only a joke. (Even
though with her limited intelligence, that name would be fairly
accurate.) And Honkie Tong, that model in the picture must have been
designed by someone with a serious mental problem. This is a vote for
raptors.
from JOE BOB B.,
age 10,
Menlo Park,
?,
?;
December 29, 2000
Yup, Tyrannosaurus Rex or Imperator is the
baddest and buckwildest of all the dinosaurs. They could woop a
Utahraptor like they were stealing something. Dino Warz
rocks!
from ?,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 29, 2000
tyrannosaurus rex: because he is
big.
from gordon g,
age 4,
new york city,
ny,
usa;
December 29, 2000
Tyrannosaurus--he is still the clear King of
the Dinosaurs. A new tyrannosaur find was estimated to be 15-20% larger
than that of Giganotosaurus...the pubic bone in the pelvis measured
approximately 130cm in length, while that of Giganotosaurus measured
118cm.
from Sauron,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 29, 2000
T.REX YEAH!
from ?,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
B...? HAHAHHAHAHAHAH!
Good one Short F. But I thought you were malay? How come you know
chinese? Anyway, T.Rex Rulez!
from Lillian Tay,
age 14,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
One more thing, T.Rex didn't have a butt, he
had a cloaca, thank you very much. T.Rex is da dino.
from Honkie Tong,
age 16,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
Well, you can't ask a person four years
older than you to chut her cakehole, because she's older than you. Or is
it jsut that you americans have no respect for your elders. Utahraptors
are useless. We got our butt kicked so hard by the Tyrannosaurids that
we would be fools to take them on. Guys! Stop kicking our butts! We
surrender! T-Rex rules!
from Razorclaw. The real one. Ignore the other
one!,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
T.rex could kick. He was superbely balanced.
His tail would swing in the opposite direction when he kicked or he
could rear up to kick. A Tyrannosaurid footpath showed that
Tyrannosaurids liek T.Rex could hop on one foot! Kick? No problemo.
Tyrannosaurus is so cool.
from Norman,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
Big deal brudder, say all you want but
nothing will change the fact that Dino Warz is better. Anyway, I think
the Razorclaw who said that the Utahraptor that say Utahraptor all
uselss is the real one lah. So bi shang ni de wu ya zhui. (Chinese for
shut your mouth)
from Short F.,
age 14,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
T.Rex can't kick? Woah! Look at him go! Vote T.Rex! (Ps. THe Utahraptor
in
this picture got kick so hard it's off screen).
from Honkie Tong,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
Really? ...
Anyway, T.rEX RULEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
from Lillian Tay,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
Well,Grace,you asked a pretty good question.
If JC hadn't edited the rest out,it would say something very insulting
to Dino Wartz.
from JOE BOB B.,
age 10,
Menlo Park,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
Hey, good one Bill, you're so right. You
don't fight fire with fire, you fight fire with water! Anyway, here's a
vote for the T.rex war effort.
from Honkie Tong,
age 16,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
This is security Utahraptor for DWF
reporting: We are fairing badly, Sue, Suzie, Sue-Imperator ans Rambo of
Dino Warz are beating us in all
areas....Aptness-of-thought...Colour....Explosive
displays....Originality.....Tracer patterns....I-suggest-we-retreat.
Dropping a vote for Tyrannosaurus to decoy them. This is a vote for
Tyrannosaurus.
from Security Utahraptor,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
Lilian T,SHUT YOUR CAKEHOLE!!! ("Cakehole"
is a slang term for mouth,phrase connected with "Shut up.") JOE BOB was
right, I'M THE REAL RAZORCLAW!!! And by the way,what the heck makes you
think that T-rex could kick at all? If he lifted his foot higher than
was sufficient for walking,(or running) he would lose his balance and
fall on his big, scaly butt. Yes, he probably could kick the arse of a
very unexperienced utahraptor. (But only if he was lucky enough to find
one!) So he might (by the skin of his teeth) be able to kick a raptor's
butt,but not literally.
from Razorclaw,
age ?,
?,
(Used to live in Utah),
Mongoalia;
December 28, 2000
Raptors kick T.Rexes' butt? (Giggle...) Can you believe what he said.
Well,
this would probally happen if the raptors tried to take T.Rex on. He he.
Anyway, I vote T.Rex as I loved what he just did in the picture.
from Honkie Tong,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
One thing you have to admit Razorclaw/Joe
Bob, Dino Warz is a better fanfic. Yeah, Tyannosaurus Rex
rulezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
from Grace Tay,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
Well, I no rex fan but I think Sue is a
better name than that immature Rockbrain. Common, she didn't even have a
rock for a brain. Prehaps the person who suggested it has a rockbrain as
he assumed Sue has one too. Than Sue is prbally smarter than him. This
vote is for T-Rex
from Norman,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
Hey kid, go ahead and insult me all you
want, but I'll not return the same blows. You want to know why? That's
because you are just a TEN YEAR OLD kid man, even if I win, I'll be
looked upond as bullying a poor defenseless kid. But I'll answer you
intelligently, which will make you look an extremely simple and spoilt
compaired to my superiour intellect. Thank you, and watch me, this vote
is for T.rex
from Billy Macdraw,
age 18,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
I think Sue is much cooler than me. I wish I
had a better name than that juvinile "Razorclaw". I'm the real Razorclaw
and I do not vote for raptors because they are the most useless
terepods. This vote is for T.Rex.
from Razorclaw,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
Face it Bob, Billy Macdraw has a better name
and you know it. Razorclaw? Rockbrain? Sounds like ultra-juvinile names
from the fantastic four. Anyhow, the Sue (which is by the way far cooler
than Razorclaw) in Bill's story lives here and now, so Sue is a cool
name. Razorclaw? What a misnomer. Raptorclaws were hardly razor sharp.
They were stabbers, not slashers with their claw. My, it shows how
little you must know about Utahraptors. About the mastercard ad, you
claim you are not an iminator, well, you proved yourself wrong with that
cute little ad. Thank you, you just proved our point. This is for
Tyrannosaurus Rex.
from Jimmy L,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
Hey, get off Razorclaw's back Joe, it took
him a great deal of courage to come forward and admit that the
Utahraptors were all useless. Thanks Razorclaw, T.Rex could kick(I mean
really kick) Utahraptor's arse seven sundays back.
from Lillian T.,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
Would you stop calling Dino Warz, Dino
Wartz. Dino Warz doesn't have warts.
from firebird,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
Listen Jimmy,Razorclaw is a perfect name for
a raptor. In the early cretacious (or late cretacious in Sue's case)
they probably didn't have the same kind of names that they do now. (In
fact,I suggest that a better name for Sue would be "Rockbrain.") Face
it,"Razorclaw" probably would've been an honorable name among raptors.
Anyway,this is a vote for the raptors,because they could kick T-rex's
butt.
from JOE BOB B.,
age 10,
Menlo Park,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
Semper Fi Sir! We vote Tyrannosaurus
Rex.
from ?,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
T Rex, because of its supposedly greater
intelligence than other carnivorous dinosaurs. Also because, even though
we now know that it wasn't the largest meat-eater on land
(giganotosaurus was), it had the most effective teeth, best used for
cracking bone rather than tearing flesh.
from Chris H,
age 37,
London,
UK,
England;
December 28, 2000
What a cool story! T.Rex
rulez!
from Lillian T.,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
What a nice story. I liked the way the
raptors died. Cool. This vote is for T-Rex.
from Grace T.,
age 12,
?,
?,
?;
December 28, 2000
My favourite dinosaur is a Ornithochirus
because it glides softly through the air.
I like the crest that males have.
I like there sharp teeth.
from Nikhil T.,
age 7,
Hastings,
East Sussex,
Britain;
December 28, 2000
Well,a lot of people are using my name to
vote for their dinosaur,so here's what I'd like to say to them: USE YOUR
OWN NAME YOU IDIOTS!!!!! THE REAL RAZORCLAW (which is me) WOULDN'T VOTE
FOR COMPSOGNATHUS,OR GALLIMIMUS,OR T-REX,OR ANY OF THOSE MORONS!!!! VOTE
USING YOUR OWN NAME!!! (This is a vote for raptors.)
from Razorclaw,
age ?,
?,
(Used to live in Utah.),
Mongoalia;
December 28, 2000
At last. I won't put up arguments on which
dinosaur is better, but I'd like to tell you that it was the rise of
Tyrannosauids that put the raptors out of a job. The decline of the
raptors have been noted by a rise of the Tyrannosauids. I'd prefer you
use facts to argue, instead of simply lamblasting the other dinosaur.
But as a paleontologist born in raptor mania, I still have to tell you
that it dosen't look too good for the raptors now.
Raptor mania refers to a period of time where the raptors were all the
rage. Raptor fans were at their peak there. But now, as doubts and
misconceptions started to surface and be addressed, the raptors have
fallen out of favour. Compair the amount of raptor votes last time to
now and you will notice that the number of raptor fans are falling...you
are going extinct. Enough of this, here's one for big rex.
To consder why this is so, consider the following story:
----------------------
There had been a great storm and a raptor chick had been left behind. It
was Utahraptor chick. It had been found by a family of Velociraptors and
was raised by them (for some weird reason). The Velociraptors saw how
big the Utahraptor chick was when it was full grown and realized that it
was not an ordinary Velociraptor chick. The Velociraptors had taken
Razorclaw (that was the name of the raptor chick) on a hunt but a
Tyrannosaurus had come for the freshly-killed Tenotosaur carcass and was
about to attack the Velociraptor family. Then with surprising speed,
Razorclaw jumped up and with one swipe of his claw sliced empty air.The
Tyrannosaur roared and caught the young Utahraptor midair, smashing down
with 15,000 pounds of force. A red mist shot into the air as the
Razorclaw's back broke. The Tyrannosaur contuined to put pressure on,
cutting Razorclaw into two even as the last rasping breath escaped his
puntured lungs. The Tyrannosaurus shook its head and flung the stringy
remains of the dead Utahraptor all over the place. THe Velociraptor family
shierked in fright and ran away at their top speed, which was about 40
miles per hour.
The family was back at their cave, inside which they took shelter in the
rain, and they were very sad. Their son Razorclaw had brought it so
quickly. They mourned his ignorance at attacking a Tyrannosaur.
Sudden;y, somethign blocked the light into the cave, it was the
Tyrannosaur back for more. The Velociraptors, determined to take revenge
for Razorclaw, scrambled up to attack, trying to run rings around the
Tyrannosaur, but the Tyrannosaur was blessed with unnaturally fast
reactions; it caught the mother Velociraptor even before she managed to
doge and threw her mangled body back. A small raptor chick jumped onto
the Tyrannosaur, hoping to slash the monster's guts out, but the
Tyrannosaur leaned against the wall of the cave, turning him to a ugly
red paste on the wall, like an oversized smashed bug. The father
Velociraptor screamed as he saw the Tyrannosaur kill his family...it has
been this way for years, the Tyrannosaurs stole all their kills, ate
their childern and there was no way to stop them. Infact, the number of the Tyrannosaurs seemed to
be rising while the number of raptors were decreasing...
Searing pain snapped him out of his thoughts, white light flashed before
his eyes before he realized he was being lifed bodily into the air. His
next sensation was that of weightlessness before he slammed hard onto
the mangled body of his mate. He felt his body fold into two like a rag
raptor-doll and heard his back snap. In the slow motion of accident
victims, he saw the Tyrannosaur kill his family. All his efforts to
reproduce has come to nothing, the last though he formed was how he
wished he hadn't declared war on the Tyrannosaurs by stealing and
killing their young, now he faced the consquences.. Extinction
Razorclaw the poor Utahraptor
----------------
As you can see, the stories written by Tyrannosaur fans are far more
rational and believable. So that should say that TyrannosAUR FANS IN
GENERAL ARE MORE RATIONAL PEOPLE. As long as there are rational people
in the world, Tyrannosaurus will be the most popular dinosaur. I'm one
of them! Vote Tyrannosaurus Rex!
from Tyrannosaurus Rex!,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 27, 2000
I'm the real Razorclaw, and this is my
offical statement:
The raptors are actually timid, fradicat creatures. All raptors stink.
The worst of them all is Utahraptor, the most dumb and idiot-headed off
them all! How I wish I wasn't adopted by that family of idiot
Velociraptors. How I wish I was adopted by Sue's family instead.
Utahraptors stink and truly deserve to be extinct. This is the real
Razorclaw, this is the real (and useless) Utahraptor.
This vote is for Compies.
from The really real Razorclaw,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 27, 2000
I must admit though, I never knew I had so
many Dino Warz fans! Thanks guys, for speaking up for me. Though it was
kinda overkill, a overy large amount of firepower to waste on a ten year
old.
To all my fans: Take good care of yourselves, merry Christmas and keep
voting T.Rex! Because he's way superior to the raptors who have nobody
but immature 10-year old fans!
Keep voting for T.Rex! Here's one!
from Billy Macdraw,
age 18,
?,
?,
?;
December 27, 2000
When Lucy tells Charlie Brown that this
time, she's really going to kick the ball, you know what's going to
happen.
When Wile E. Coyote insists this time, he really going is going to catch
the Road Runner, you know what's going to happen.
And when some other fanfic writer tell you that this time they've a fan
fic that can beat Bill's Dino Warz...
Well, I like T-Rex
from Paul K.,
age 14,
LA,
CA,
USA;
December 27, 2000
I like T.rex. Ha what? Your mastercard ad
was so boring (yawn) it
m-makes...me.....wanna....sle.......................
from Grace T.,
age 12,
?,
?,
?;
December 27, 2000
Huh? What do you mean? Pratically every
regular here reads and loves Dino Warz. Now listen up, Bill may not
attack you because he is too gentlemanly to do so and because you are
just a little ten-year old kid. But being twelve, I have no such
inhibitions.
from Leonard,
age 12,
?,
?,
?;
December 27, 2000
Sorry boy, but I think the Razorclaw who
played "Leave me Alone" is the real one. Because it the raptors were so
smart, they'll know that they are being forced to do unnatural things by
raptor fans. T.REX RULEZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
from Lillian T.,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 27, 2000
Vote Rex here. All I'm saying is, Sue, Suzie
and Sue-Imperator's cool and realistic sounding names make your
Razorclaw sound and look juvinile and immature.
from Jimmy L,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 27, 2000
That's because the real Razorclaw dosen't do
that....fake! This vote is for Gallimimus.
from The one and only true Razorclaw,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 27, 2000
My favorite dinosaur is the Ceratosaurus
because it was a carnivorus dinosaur and it was said to have hunted in
packs and plus they just look really cool kind of like a T-rex with a
horn on its nose
from Tristan Y,
age 14,
bridgewater,
nova scotia,
canada;
December 27, 2000
(This really was a Mastercard commercial.)
Computer-generated dinosaurs to fight:60,000$.
Ha! ...
Paying T-rexes for acting:5000$.
Having someone actually WATCH Dino Wartz:priceless.
There's some things money can't buy,for everything else,there's
Mastercard.
from JOE BOB B.,
age 10,
Menlo Park,
?,
?;
December 27, 2000
Jimmy L,DO NOT INSULT MY NAME!!!!!!!! What
makes you think that Razorclaw is a juvinnile and immature name!? If you
really want to know who the auther of "Razorclaw" is, It's JOE BOB
B.
from Razorclaw,
age ?,
?,
(Used to live in Utah),
Mongoalia;
December 27, 2000
Oh yeah? If you're the real Razorclaw,why
didn't you list that you used to live in Utah? Or that you live in
Mongoalia? See,I know more about you than you do! I'm the real
Razorclaw,and you know it. In fact,you don't even know how to spell the
name of your own species! (This vote is for raptors.)
from Razorclaw,
age ?,
?,
(Used to live in Utah),
Mongoalia;
December 27, 2000
Tyrannosaurus,because of the fact that it
has it's own group named
after itself.Tyrannosauria.
from B Turnajohn,
age 11,
?,
?,
US;
December 27, 2000
Tyrannosaurus Rex, I just wanted to
vote.
from Honkie Tong,
age 16,
?,
?,
?;
December 27, 2000
t rax, brudder
from Short F.,
age 14,
?,
?,
?;
December 27, 2000
My favourite is the raptors. I know they are
inferior to the T.rexs but I still like them anyway.
from vELOCI,
age ?,
Gobi,
Gobi,
Gobi;
December 27, 2000
I am the REAL RAZORCLAW! AND I'M AN ACTOR,
THE OTHER RAZORCLAW IS A FAKE!!!! THIS VOTE IS FOR RAPTR
from Razorclaw,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 27, 2000
This vote is for Mevalosaurus. Cannot win? I
don't want to be judgemental but I think Billy's Dino Warz can win hands
down. He's just to mature to take advantage of a 10-year
old.
from Norman,
age 15,
KL,
?,
Malaysia;
December 27, 2000
Ha ha! T.rex is the best! It looks like
somebody bit off more than he could chew when he decided to attack Dino
Warz!
from Lillian Tay,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 27, 2000
Deinonychus,because of the fact that it has
it's own group named
after itself.Deinonychusauria.
from JonathanB.,
age 11,
Medford,
Or.,
U.S.;
December 26, 2000
I know Honkie. Someone wrote that story
saying it was from you. I just wanted to see what would happen when I
mentioned it. Anyway,(this is for all T-rex fans) I have decided to stop
insulting Dinowartz in my stories. (Not only because neither of us can
win,but because it would be boring to read a story that was just meant
to insult another story). This vote is for the raptors.
from JOE BOB B.,
age 10,
Menlo Park,
?,
?;
December 26, 2000
trexx
from ?,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 26, 2000
Hey! Who used my name!? I'll find
you,evicerate you,and then feast on your flesh! Raptors are a lot better
than T-rex,and if you vote for that scumbag,USE YOUR OWN
NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is a raptor vote.
from Razorclaw (The real one),
age ?,
?,
(Used to live in Utah),
Mongoalia;
December 26, 2000
My favorite dinosaur is the Ankylosaurus. I
like the ankylosaurus because they tough and they wouldn't eat
us.
from Alexandra R.,
age 4 1/2,
Bend,
Oregon,
USA;
December 26, 2000
t-rex, i like him the best because of his
big teeth and powerfull mouth that can eat anything.
from tyler h.,
age 8,
louisville,
ky,
usa;
December 26, 2000
Parasaurolophus and all the lambeosaurines
because their head crests are cool
from Samuel C.,
age 10,
?,
?,
?;
December 26, 2000
trax
from ?,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 26, 2000
Just to make sure this is revelant, this is
a vote for T.Rex.
Now, I'd like to set the record straight. The John Rambo in Dino Warz is
NOT played by Stallone. He's the REAL John Rambo, he has represented the
lone soldier; the commando, the guerilla. Rambo, a perfect specimen of a
finely tuned machine in Vietnam, finds that life back in the States
after the war is very different. This lone soldier exists without war or
battle when he returns to a country that does not appreciate his
efforts. Specialized training for war is useless in times of peace and
Rambo soon finds his life without purpose. Searching for purpose the
lone soldier finds that "It's a hard road when you're all alone." That's
why he has decided to help out in Dino Warz once in a while. Once again,
he's not Stallone!
And yes, the firearms are real, he normally uses a M-60 GPMG with a
Berreta 92F as a sidearm, though he has thought of switching his main
weapon to a Minimi light machine gun, as the five five six rounds are
lighter. He also uses a Colt CT26 Pathfinder Tatical knife and certainly
the trademark Ultraslim ballastic black singlet to protect from
ballastic harm. That's the DIno Warz rambo. I donno where you got the
idea he uses a water pistol from, but it's wrong.
from Billy Macdraw,
age 18,
?,
?,
?;
December 26, 2000
HEY! WHO USED MY SONG? anyway, I vote
Rexy.
from Honkie Tong,
age 16,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
This is a good policy, and I agree with it.
Orginally, I posted Dino Warz and Old Blood here purely for the
enjoyment of the people visting this website. That was my intention. But
its obvious some person just can't handle this kind of responsibility.
It's all our responsibility to make this website work, not tear it apart
and divide it into raptor sections and T.rex sections or
whatever.
from Billy Macdraw,
age 18,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
t.rex, cos he kwilled all the raptor in
dinosaur wars
from ?,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
I think you raptor fans have a warped view
of the us raptors, we want you to leave us alone and let it be doing the
things God intended. So if we raptors could speak we'll tell you....
Leave Me Alone
I'm alone, hiding in the dark
(sometimes I feel like)
Leave me alone (leave me alone)
What do you want from me
(Sometimes I feel like)
Leave me alone (leave me alone)
(One day you will see)
Leave me alone (leave me alone)
My point is, at least the T.rex fans don't push T.rex and make him do
things he would not have done. You raptor fans only know how to make the
raptors do things they were not intended to.
I'm looking for a life
To come and rescue me
I sleep, I rise
Hear your denies
Endlessly inside
It's crazy but
I wanna' to run away
(sometimes I feel like)
I've gotta' get away
(One day you will see)
Another side of me
(My life I command)
It's not the way that you planned
Leave me alone
Out on my own (out on my own)
Leave me alone
Do you dream of a life
Your life through me
Myself, my time
In one we unite
I don't ever want to be
That raptor you want it to be
I wanna' to run away
(Sometimes I feel like)
I've gotta' get away
(One day you will see)
Another side of me
(My life I command)
It's not the way that you planned
Leave me alone
Out on my own (out on my own)
Leave me alone, yeah.....
Another side of me
My life I command
It's not the way
It's not the way that you planned
Leave me alone
Out on my own (out on my own)
Leave me alone
Leave me alone (leave me alone)
Leave me alone
Out on my own (out on my own)
Leave me alone
Leave me alone (leave me alone)
Leave me alone
Out on my own (out on my own)
Leave me alone
I'm sick of fake dino deathmatches! I wanna quit acting!
from Razorclaw,
age ?,
Utah (used to),
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Well, thanks for speaking up for me friends,
but I am taking all this rubbish and mud slung at me in my stride. I
mean, I didn't take it seriously at the time and I'm not the kind of
person to go 'hey, you said I was a failure and look at me now.' I could
be the best fanfic writer and many times better than my detractors but
totally devoid of personality and just an absolute ass to everyone. I
don't think there's any such thing as failure if you're trying, you're
not a failure. But I think I annoyed ... too, so I wouldn't like to
be vindictive about him because I don't think he meant it badly. Sound
familar? hehe. Besides, why sink to his level?
And by the way, this vote is for T.rex.
from Billy Macdraw,
age 18,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Warning to any T.rex insulters. If you
attack T.rex, you are attacking a lot of people around the world.
Prepair to have your ego deatomized.
from ?,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Don't click a mouse Bill, we'll defend you!
Dino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex
rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and
T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz
and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino
Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex
rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and
T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz
and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino
Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex
rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and
T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz
and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino
Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex
rulezDino Warz and T.rex!
rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and
T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz
and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino
Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex
rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and
T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulezDino Warz
and T.rex rulezDino Warz and T.rex rulez
from Insaniac,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Wow Bill, I certainly saw the difference
between the two fanfics when you posted your colection to let us
compare. Good job Bill! You're a better writer!
from ?,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
One more thing. Which is more believable.
Three T.Rexes killing a pack of Utahraptors or two Utahraptors killing
many Tyrannosaurids? If you ask me, the first one if far more realistic
than the latter, not to mention the latter is a imitation.
(snort)
from Leonard,
age 12,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
One thing I couldn't help noticing about DWF
is that it's nothing but a challange to Billy Macdraw. Really, Joe, Bill
is 8 YEARS your senior. I think he's way above your insults. He is
almost twice your age! And here you are, insulting him and expecting him
to respond? I'm sure people like him are way above that. And I respect
him for that. You really should laern respect for your seniors
boybo.
from Leonard,
age 12,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
I loved your bio Honkie Tong. Why don't you
do one for Old Blood? ANd by the way, T.rex rulezzzzzz
from Lillian T.,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
trex
from ?,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Not that I want to spoil anything, but I
think John Rambo will kill Indy upside down. Anyway, Bill's adaption of
John Rambo is much funnier and cooler than your adaption of Indy. Try
harder kid.
from Norman,
age 15,
KL,
?,
Malaysia;
December 25, 2000
What's all this stuff going on? Who wrote
that fanfic about the stupid Utahraptor called Razorclaw? Razorclaw? Ha!
WHat a juvinile and immature name. Sue's better and cooler sounding.
Razorclaw? HA!
from Jimmy L,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
"Sue's End?" What's it? Never heard of it?
Sorry.
from Honkie Tong,
age 16,
?, point
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
I agree with Josh, Dino Warz is still the
best. That's because its fun, cool and cheap to produce. DWF on the
other hand, is very expensive to produce, here's why:
Cost Breakdown
Paying raptor actors: $80,000
Total cost: $1187,000
See, that's why I think Dino Warz is better.
Paying prop makers: $5,000
Cost of robot rexes to destroy: $120,000
Cost of flim equipment: $2,000
Cost of lawsuits pending after a release of an eposide: $980,000
from Flamebird,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
I think we should be free to pass any
comments about fanfics. We're not insulting anybody by the way, right? I
mean, if we don't like ...,
we should be able to say its so. Yes, I seriously think there is a very
blatant case of imitation here.
from Lillian Tay,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Put yourself in the other person's place and try to think how you'd feel if someone criticized you that harshly. JC
Argue all you want, its blatantly obvious
Dino Warz is better.
from Josh,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Dino Warz is the best! And so is
T.rex.
from ?,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Josh is right. Dino Warz reamins by a wide
margin the best of them all. ..., you have a long way to go. ....
from Honkie Tong,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
I'm sayign you are following whatever Billy
does. Imitatior!
from Josh,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Dino Warz is the best! And so is
Tyrannosaurus Rex! Buzz off imitations!
from Flamebird,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Josh,I have no idea why you think that ALL
of Billy's characters are original. John Rambo is a character from a lot
of crummy,violent movies. Indiana Jones is also a movie character,but he
is NOT my version of John Rambo. Oh,and this is for Honkie,I'm
interested in this "Sue's End" story.
from JOE BOB B.,
age 10,
Menlo Park,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Dino Warz
I'm sure all of you know that Sue, Suzie and Sue-Imperator are all big
stars of Dino Warz, but how much do you really know about them? Find out
in Dino Warz bios!
Sue
Height: 20 feet
Sue is the oldest of the three Tyrannosaurus sisters. She may not be as
big as Sue-Imperator or as fast as Suzie, but Sue is certainly the
brainiest of the group, pulling out battle plans for victory out of thin
air in a seemingly hopeless situation.
Sue, who was voted most popular dinosaur in America, admits to sometimes
making a lot out of a simple situation, being an eternal optimist and
sheepishly admits to being the messy one of the family. She is also
known to have an overactive imagination, which along with her romantic
side forms the foundation for her powerful capacity to feel for other
people, despite the death she deals out everyday.
At 42feet and 14,000 pounds, Sue is about as big as her species gets.
Sue is very self-critical and very rarely likes her own work and has
been known to come off ring and publicly denounce her performance. But
despite all her self-criticism she is known as the most humorous member
of the family, making people crack up with laughter as she drops a quick
sharp comment or pulls a funny move. All this is understandable
considering she is attracted to people who are down to earth and live
life to the full. Sue, who is not public transport's biggest fan loves
visiting the world and sees it as a huge bonus that the band not only do
something they enjoy for a living, but have the luxury of seeing the
world and meeting people of many cultures- as well as obviously sampling
the different styles of party life in all corners of the globe.
Sue's worse and most noticeable habit is sniffing her jumper, given to
her when she was a hatching by Bakker. A habit she has always had since
being young. When the Tyrannosaur sisters were in Florida towards the
end of 1999, someone pulled Billy Macdraw aside and suggested that Sue
should get some therapy to try to get her out of the habit, but Sue has
often been quoted as saying that she doesn't see it as a problem
whatsoever. She also has the habit of killing things quickly to avoid
pain for the other party, which is why she sees the raptors as the
perfect prey as they are cheap to replace.
Sue is currently pair-bonded with Stan the T.Rex, which bears a striking
resemblance to her less-famous brother, Steven. They have a son, Tinker.
Sue is something special; no one could disagree with that statement. It
is a special thing that could be seen in Sue many years ago when the
team were trying so hard to get a record contract. Her irresistible
little smiles and cheeky grins, the humble presence she portrays on
stage for one so large, her biting and especially her killing talents
hold no boundaries. These are just a few examples of what makes this
lady an amazing dinosaurs who will go down in history as one of the
greatest females that has ever graced dinosaur deathmatches.
Sue is a giant amongst giants...
Suzie
Height: 18 feet
Blue-eyed Suzie is the middle child of the three sisters, and also the
smallest. Her main purpose in the team is to run flanking maneuvers to
confuse and kill the opposition, something she does very, very well.
At 39 feet and 13,000 pounds, Suzie is hardly the largest Tyrannosaurus
Rex around, though she was formidable for a dinosaur. But the best and
most well noted feature is her speed, which has broken Tyrannosaur world
speed records previously untouched for 65 million years. Suzie currently
holds the record for the fastest Tyrannosaur, reaching recorded speeds
of 59.85 kilometers an hour. Some people have said that they have
observed that Suzie is capable of much higher speeds, something, which
Suzie says she will confirm at the next record taking.
On ring, Suzie puts this speed to good use, immediately exploiting
breaches in the opposition's defenses and making short work of them.
Like her brother and sisters, Suzie was thought to hunt from a very
young age, she turned out to be a natural and mastered the basics very
fast and eventually became good enough to gain Triceratops hunting
qualifications. It wasn't until Suzie was 18 and at that time, the team
was without a flanker/blockade runner that she started to speed-hunt. An
old boyfriend was a speed hunter and he showed her a few basic steps and
sprints. And that, along with the help of "teach yourself CD's" Suzie
was able to learn simple steps and sprints. Armed with this small amount
of knowledge she then proceeded to become the runner in the team and had
all her training playing live. Suzie laughs "It was a nightmare, I had
only been running for a short time and there I was being chucked in at
the deep end, luckily people never noticed all the mistakes I used to
mak!
! e or if they did they were too polite to tell me". While learning to
speed-hunt, Suzie had the continuous problem of sore and blistered feet
but she overcome this by using a special brand of Equestrian raptor
hides to pad her feet. Nowadays Suzie has decided that she had gotten
used to the abuse and decided that being barefoot offer her even more
control and this mode of running are now her number one choice. Her
skills now enables Suzie to get the grip and comfort required to flank
the opposition continuously for over 90 minutes at a time in match.
Suzie was maybe the shyest of the siblings' which is surprising because
as a youngster she was considered a bit of a tomrex and befriended many
male rexes. She has become a lot more outgoing since the team turned
professional and in interviews she always looks relaxed and friendly
while flashing her wonderful smile at the camera. But don't be fooled;
as beneath that fun exterior lurks a serious side to her nature and
seriousness towards her practice routines and running career that should
never be underestimated. Suzie believes that if you want something bad
enough then the best thing to do is to just "go out there and get it"
and it's a philosophy she believes in strongly.
Suzie has many habits, the worst maybe using her hands free mobile
phone. Along with Sue-Imperator, she is known to run up very high mobile
phone bills and has stated that she could never cope without the phone.
She also confesses that she hates cleaning mirrors and loathes bathrooms
where someone has made a mess with the toothpaste. She doesn't rate
photo shots either as she has said, "they suck" on many an occasion.
Suzie is also an aspiring actress in her spare time and has now appeared
in documentaries directed by the BBC and Discovery: the Ultimate Guide,
Tyrannosaurus Rex and one episode of Walking with Dinosaurs. While
Caroline, Jim and Sharon got to receive a well-deserved vacation, Andrea
flew to Hollywood to portray the T.Rex in the Lost World, Jurassic Park.
Suzie's was also the voice for Sharp Teeth, one of the main characters
in the animated movie "The Land Before Time 2". It's her acting roles
that have caused the other members of the band to give Suzie the title
'family drama queen'.
Today Suzie is dating a male Tyrannosaur named Dakota whom she has been
with for well over two years, a T.Rex who thinks a lot of Suzie as he is
willing to jump on a plane and go visit her anywhere in the world. Suzie
still hopes to be in the deathmatch industry in ten years' time although
she has confessed that once the time is right, getting pair-bonded,
having babies and doing all the other normal things a pair of
Tyrannosaurs do together will have to take priority.
Suzie is not just a faceless person who sits behind her drum kit out of
sight, she is a beautiful, talented Tyrannosaur, whom the team just
could not do without. Those of us who have been lucky enough to speak to
Suzie for any length of time would more than likely agree on one thing:
it's not just her beauty or her fantastic smile or even the way she
seems to be able to laugh and talk at the same time, but it's something
unexplainable that makes you realize you have spoken to a special person
who oozes class, kindness and dedication to her profession. Suzie is one
of the ultimate examples of what can be achieved through hard work and
dedication.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sue-Imperator
Height: 24 feet
Green-eyed Sue-Imperator is the youngest and biggest member of the team
and plays the role of heavy assault. She also contributes a lot to the
delicate killings and has this wonderful ability of being able to do
both at the same time.
Sue-Imperator started off in a normal family, and was a normal hatching,
until tragically, when she was three, her parents were killed in the
infamous Utah Grand Melee, where they held off about 500 Utahraptors for
three hours until she was rescued and safe. Her parents were not as
lucky; they were killed. The exact cost of the engagement has not been
known until today as all the dinosaurs involved were killed, except
Sue-Imperator, who was the sole survivor. This is the main reason why
Sue-Imperator hates the raptors with a passion.
Sue-Imperator started to learn how to hunt when she started to have
lessons from her adoptive parents, Sue's parents. It was the same
Tyrannosaurus who wasted no time in drawing out her potential and
instilling in her the love of hunting she has today. Between the ages of
7 to 14 she was a member of the Youth Hardosaur Hunters and this group
become renowned in America for its efficient hunting. Sue-Imperator is
proud of the fact that she only ever missed one hunting lesson in her
whole life and today she is qualified to teach the trade professionally.
Sue-Imperator went to animal training school at Liberty Meadows where
she was far from the perfect student. She was suspended from school on
two separate occasions for skipping lessons and was caught both times,
which made her realize that "Bunking off" was not for her so decided to
concentrate on her schooling instead. A trainer told her in her school
that she would be a failure all her life. "I didn't take it seriously at
the time and I'm not the kind of person to go 'hey, you said I was a
failure and look at me now.' I could be internationally famous but
totally devoid of personality and just an absolute ass to everyone. I
don't think there's any such thing as failure if you're trying, you're
not a failure. But I think I annoyed the trainer, so I wouldn't like to
be vindictive about him because I don't think she meant it badly.''
Sue-Imperator might seem to look like the type that 'runs the show' but
that's not the case. The Tyrannosaurus sisters decide everything
together and she considers herself as being well organized rather than
bossy and is the one who makes sure all the team are ready for an
interview or have everything packed before going on tour. During
interviews Sue-Imperator is very often seen as the chatterbox, the
dynamic member of the band answering questions in a long and meaningful
way showing the love and dedication she has not only for the team, but
the art of killing itself.
Her stepsisters and stepbrother describe Sue-Imperator as being the
second messiest of the family, surpassed only by Sue. Sue-Imperator has
also been described by her siblings as being well adjusted, despite her
tragic past and rebellious schooling days.
On the ring, Sue-Imperator sometimes tends to be shadowed by the antics
of her stepsiblings. But she certainly shines in her own department,
making short work of the toughest opponent in her heavy assault role.
Despite her size, her gracefulness on stage when engaging the enemy is
breathtaking, whether she is playing a fast snap or a haunting
long-slash, Sue-Imperator leaves the viewer spellbound. Her strong,
backing moves provide the ideal trade-off to Sue's forceful lead moves
and she will often be seen silently backing Sue up on many a match.
Sue-Imperator loves interacting with the crowd and is often seen dancing
and jigging around, waving to people or throwing her irresistible smile.
The concentration on her face when faced with a difficult opponent is
astounding and there is no more wonderful sight than a close up shot of
Sue-Imperator's face in full concentration, with her eyes either
completely shut or wide open looking dreamily into space playing a
haunting move witho!
! ut hardly even a glance at her claws.
Sue-Imperator is sometime treated as the `darling' of the team due to
her young age, but being the youngest has a down side because as she
joined the band straight from leaving school, she is often looked upon
as missing out on her youth and a somewhat normal life, something that
Sue-Imperator takes in her stride.
What would the team do without Sue-Imperator? Well, its hard to say, but
without the heavy assault role she plays, Sue will certainly be tied up
with doing that role, reducing their effectiveness to that of any old
dinosaur deathmatch team. As Sue-Imperator once said, " I don't think we
could do without any members of the team. All of us are a team, we work
together, we're a family." Something she believes in very strongly.
Sue-Imperator is currently single but is often linked with any
Tyrannosaur who will "stick" especially by the tabloid press. Because
the band are a family, and combined with the fact that anytime
Sue-Imperator manages to get off from her busy schedule is spent with
friends and family, this has lead to less relationships than she would
have liked and Sue-Imperator has sadly admitted to not having a
relationship for many years.
Sue-Imperator is not only a very skilled and talented Tyrannosaur, she
is a unique animal who has a presence and "air of grace" found in very
few dinosaurs. Despite her desperate background, she has managed to rise
to excellence and overcome the odds.
If Sue is gorgeous, and Suzie is cute, then Sue-Imperator is truly
beautiful.
The Bios
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Length: 42 feet
Weight: 14,000 pounds
Species: Tyrannosaurus Rex
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Length: 39 feet
Weight: 13,000 pounds
Species: Tyrannosaurus Rex
Length: 54 feet
Weight: 18,750 pounds
Species: Tyrannosaurus Imperator
from Honkie Tong,
age 16,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Dino Warz
Counterstrike
Now, this is not the first episode of the third season of Dino Warz, but
I felt I had to defend my stories from corruption by people who do not
agree with them. So I had to call Sue back, who was understandably
annoyed by this simplistic and ridiculous story. So, Dino Warz was a
direct hit…this is the Counterstrike.
******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Director: Cut!
(But before anybody can move, the doors of the studio come crashing down
with incredible force, crushing a Velociraptor under it. As the smoke
clears, three gigantic Tyrannosaurus stands in the doorway.)
Sue: We're back!
(Another door opens and two packs of Velociraptors and Utahraptors start
pouring in, surrounding Razorclaw and the director, hissing and snapping
at the Tyrannosaurus)
Sue: They have backup!
(Whooping, the Tyrannosaurus charge the raptors. A furious battle
erupts.)
Sue: Roar! (Snaps a Velociraptor into half with a powerful bite.
Entrails and blood sprays everywhere) haven't done this for a long time!
Darn! It feels good!
(The raptors are simply no match for the trio, they start to die by the
truckloads.)
Director: This is a disaster! They're dropping like flies!
(In front of him, mangled raptors and parts of raptors lay strewn all
over the place. Hundreds of meters of pale intestine lay around like
limp snakes. Among them, three Tyrannosaurus stand, victorious)
Director: They killed all of our security raptors!
(But before anybody could do anything, large cracks start to appear on
the floor. Pieces of roof start to rain down in the studio. There is
dust everywhere. Suddenly, the floor caves in and swallows everybody)
Ten minutes later…
Sue: Cough! What happened?
(A pile of rubble starts to stir in front of them. A very bruised
Director and Razorclaw emerges, stumbling weakly)
Director: It's your entire fault Tyrannosaurs!
(The three Tyrannosauruses and one guy leave the Director and Razorclaw
behind, walking off into the gloomy interiors of the partially collapsed
basement)
Five minutes later…
Bill: Look! Over there! (Points towards a room, they enter it, and
discover the room is well lit, and filled with huge metal boxes. A
holographic female face stands in the center of the room on top of a
projector table.)
Some time later, time to Macdraw heart attack, one hour and twenty-nine
minutes…
Bill: I can't believe that I'm going to die!
Some time later, time to Macdraw heart attack, five minutes…
Bill: Here director Joe, want some coffee? Whoops! (Spills coffee on the
Director)
Some time later, time to Macdraw heart attack, two minutes…
Bill: (Pulling the Director into the room) Cass? Cass?
Ten minutes later…
Sue: What! She said you are still going to die?
Two minutes later…
(The three Tyrannosauruses surround Bill and slowly inch their way to
the emergency exit. However, debris start to fall in front of them and
onto them, battering them on the way.)
Sue: Ouch! Ouch! This is too much! Retreat!
(All three Tyrannosaurus pause to look at each other for a moment)
Sue-Imperator: RETREAT! (Picks up Bill, all of them run back to safety)
Five minutes later…
Cass: Trying to cheat the future, not too smart are you?
====================================================================================================================================================================
Sue: Stop there! Notice that Cass predicts that Bill is gonna say that
he has a theory to share, but in reality, he never really completes the
statement. So it never really happened. How come? I thought she said she
could predict with one hundred percent accuracy?
(The ground starts to rumble and sparks fly out of the control panel.
Cass's face wavers and disappears as the projection table explodes. The
whole room is on fire.)
Sue: Let's get out of here! Cass is wrong! The future is ours to
decide!
(Smoke fills the entire place as it starts to collapse. But the
Tyrannosauruses and Bill manage to get out just before it collapses
again. As they look back form outside, the entire building sinks into
the basement in a cloud of gray dust.)
Bill: I made it, I'm alive!
(A pile of debris starts to move in front of them. Razorclaw stands up,
shaken and bruised.)
Razorclaw: Phew! I made it out alive! I thought I would die! I am now
going to treasure every moment of life and live it too the fullest!
(For a tense moment, the three Tyrannosaurus sisters stay like that,
snout to snout. Then they suddenly jerk their head away in opposite
directions. A terrible rip and snapping is heard as Razorclaw was bodily
torn into three sections. A terrible screech fills the air. Blood
splattered freely onto the ground in large drops. For a long while,
there is a loud crunching of bones as the Tyrannosaurus sisters finish
off their defamer)
Sue: That was nice. (Licks her daggers)
The end
D.W.F. DINOSAUR WRESTLING FEDERATION
Well THIS is a surprise! Two dinosaur deathmatch shows in one year!
Before we start,we would like to inform you of something, DINO WARZ IS
RIGGED! That's right, and to prove that,we'll show you two NEVER BEFORE
SEEN backstage clips caught by security cameras!
(Light flickers on screen, images turn black and white). Now here is our
first clip: (Shows Sue and a few other T-rexes taking steroids) Sue:Well
we beat those (BEEEEEP) raptors again! Others:Yeah,for the fifteenth
time today. Well, we think you know how they benefit themselves,how
about how they benefit their challingers!
(Same things happen). We'll get you for this! (voice comes from
cage):"Whuff id you say? I think I didn't catch that."(voice comes from
Sue,who is feasting on triceratops meat in front of the starved
raptors).
It must be clear to you now that Dino Wartz is unfair,so on with the
show. Here is our champion,Razorclaw! Razorclaw:Hi! As you might
know,I'm a utahraptor,and I'm going to do a lot on this show. I 'm going
to fight anyone who challenges me. Troodon security gaurd:Uh oh! it's
that T-rex that you fought that one time,and he's coming to get
you,Razorclaw! Razorclaw:He probably wants to kindly maul me for that
little arm amputation I gave him.
T-rex:Pretty good Razorclaw,but that was easy. I want to destroy you in
the ring, live on national TV, to prove that tyrannosaurus is the best
dinosaur of all!
It's time for the big fight folks! Razorclaw vs. T-rex!
Razorclaw:Let's get it on! T-rex:Fine with me!
(Bell rings) WHAP! (Razorclaw gets hit by a vicous tail swipe!)Razorclaw
is dazed but okay! Razorclaw:Hard,but not hard enough! SLASH! (Razorclaw
dodges another tail swipe)T-rex:Give up yet? Razorclaw:No way! (After
this, the fight is a blur)
SLAM!!!!!!!(There is a reverberating crash as T-rex is knocked off his
feet) Razorclaw:This will be the last thing that you see! SLASH!
(Razorclaw beheads T-rex) Referee (Who has been out of the ring since
the fight started):Razorclaw is the winner,and in only one round!
Well that about wraps it up for this D.W.F. episode. Make sure you don't
miss the next one!
THE END
Razorclaw: Well? How was it?
Director: Not too bad, but we have to try it one more time. The computer
generated rex you're fighting is not realistic enough.
Razorclaw: (Scratching head) But why? This must be the 100 th time we're
doing this.
Director: Look, if you want to discredit Billy Macdraw and Sue and gang,
we have to be convincing. If its badly done, people will think that
D.W.F is a ridiculous and cheap attempt by me to denounce Dino Warz and
launch the raptors to be more popular than T.Rex.
Razorclaw: But isn't it?
Director: Could you avoid asking such questions? I have no time for such
abstract arguments like this.
Cameraman: Are you going to pay me yet?
Director: (Hands him 25cents) Well, here's a quarter.
Cameraman: What!? I work for 10 hours and you give me a quarter? What
rubbish is this?
Director: Look, I am only a 10 year old kid, when the raptors are
popular and T.Rex is gone, I'll be rich from companies asking for me to
film more anti-Dino Warz shows. Then I can pay you.
Cameraman: But…I want my money NOW!
Razorclaw: ROAR! Take the money or be killed!
Cameraman: Okay! Okay! (Muttering) @$#%@
Director: Now, if we could film it one more time…
Suzie: Yeah! Let's kick the butts of these cheap imitators!
Bill: Yeah! Clear my name and show that D.W.F is rigged, not Dino
Warz!
Sue-Imperator: We'll do that right now Bill.
Director: This is a disaster! Kill them Razorclaw!…Razorclaw?(Turns
around and notices he is gone) Where the hell are you?
Razorclaw: (Hiding behind a toilet bowl) Don't ask me! I am only an
actor, I donno nothing about fighting dinosaur deathmatches!
Sue: Ha! You are defeated! Surrender and the law will take care of you
for copyright infringements!
Director: Defeated? The word "defeated" is not in the vocabulary of us
raptor fans!
Razorclaw: How about Mommy?
Director, Razorclaw: Mommieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Bill: I'm afraid your mother can't save you. In fact, she led us to
you!
Director: This can't be! It's not possible!
Bill: Well, she wouldn't have done so if you hadn't skipped school to do
all this rubbish. In fact, she told us to "fix" you up!
Sue: Don't worry, I'll discipline you like I discipline Tinker.
Director: (Backing off) Don't come near me! Security!
Sue-Imperator: Is this a bad thing?
Sue: Bad? Hell no! Let's KICK THEIR ARSES!
Suzie: Roar! (Grabs a Utahraptor by the leg and starts shaking him. The
leg comes off and the Utahraptor flies off away from its severed limb,
smashing with a sickening thud into the far wall.)
Sue-Imperator: Get off my sister! (Removes a Utahraptor, kicking and
screaming from Sue, Bites into him, turning his upper torso to mush. The
other half falls to the ground where it stands for a while, before
falling over.)
Bill: Cool. (Dodges a flying severed Utahraptor head)
Sue: That's right! (Crushes a Utahraptor underfoot) Nobody speaks
falsely about me and gets away with it!
Suzie: Me too! (Chomps down on a Velociraptor and shakes it to bits)
Razorclaw: This is your entire fault!
Director: What do you mean?
Razorclaw: If you hadn't made up that story about me cutting off a T.Rex
limb or filmed stupid nonsensical DWF fan fics dissing Sue, we would not
be here now!
Director: What do you mean? That story was immensely popular, like my
other stories!
Razorclaw: Are you kidding? All your productions got lousy reviews! You
are a certified loser! I should never have worked for you! You hear me?
I quit! I quit!
Director: Why you no good cheating f@%& raptor….
Razorclaw: Hey! Cut all the vulgarities! This is a webpage for the kids
by the way!
Director: Shut up! (Looks around) Un Oh…
Razorclaw: Why did you hire such useless bums?
Director: Well, at least they were MORE competent than you!
Razorclaw: What!
Sue: Shut up! ROARRRRR! (Both of them shut up)
Suzie: Now, we're going to teach you a little lesson about why you
shouldn't mess with Billy Macdraw's Dino Warz… (Steps toward them)
Director/Razorclaw: Mommieeeeeeeeeeeeee! (RUMBLE! Dust and plaster
starts to fall from the ceiling)
Sue-Imperator: What's that noise?
Bill: Is everybody okay?
Suzie: I'm fine.
Sue-Imperator: I'm okay.
Bill: The stress from the earlier battle must have caused the building
to collapse. We are currently trapped underground in some kind of
basement. Look, this place is virtually intact.
Razorclaw: Yeah man! It's your entire fault!
Sue: What'da ya mean? Who was the one, who picked shabby sub grade
buildings as a studio?
Razorclaw: Well…(Points to director), he picked the building.
Director: I don't believe it! All of you are ganging up on me!
Sue: No we're not! It's your fault and you know it!
Director: Razorclaw! Tell those stupid T.Rexes it's their fault!
Razorclaw: No I won't, it's YOUR fault!
Director: What? Okay, then it's YOUR fault!
Razorclaw: Don't pull an innocent Utahraptor like me into this, it's
your fault!
Sue: Guys, you are behaving like children!
Director: Am not! He started it first!
Razorclaw: Did not!
Director: Did too!
Razorclaw: Did not!
Director: Did too!
Razorclaw: Did not!
Director: Did too!
Razorclaw: Did not!
Director: Did too!
Razorclaw: Did not!
Director: Did too!
Razorclaw:
Didnotdidnotdidnotdidnotdidnotdidnotdidnotdidnotdidnotdidnot
Director:
Didtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoo
Razorclaw: Didnotdidnotdidnotdidnotdidnotdidnotdidnotdidnotdidnotdidnot
times infinity!
Director: Didtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoodidtoo
times double infinity!
Sue: Sigh…I can't believe this.
Razorclaw: Ha ha! There's no such thing as double infinity!
Director: (Bursts into tears and sticks his fingers into his ears,
singing) I cannot hear you! I cannot hear you!
Sue: SHUT UP! (Both of them shut up)
Razorclaw: So, what are you going to do to us?
Sue: Nothing, we all need to survive and get out of here in on piece,
including you.
Razorclaw: Any why is that?
Sue: Because, we need your butt in one piece TO KICK IT! YEAH!
Razorclaw: Comforting thought…
Bill: Let's look around, maybe we can find a way out of here. Don't
follow us you copyright defamers!
Sue: Where are we, in an old set of Star Trek?
Suzie: I think so.
Computer: Welcome, I'm Cass, a powerful mainframe that predicts the
future with one hundred percent in accuracy. And by the way, bless
you.
Sue-Imperator: Huh? Why do you say that Ca-harrr harrr WaCHOO!
(Sneezes)
Cass: Truly remarkable.
Sue: Truly remarkable.
Cass: I have seen the future and have already known the outcome of this
conversation. That's why I know what you are about to say. And your
friend Bill has a theory to share.
Bill: I have a theory to sh-sha-shar- precisely, this computer was
abandoned here deep underground by the government after they made it,
fearing that the wrong use of Cass will have disastrous consequences for
mankind.
Suzie: That was brilliant! How did you have all that figured out?
Bill: (Hands her a piece of paper) Well, I read the mission
directive.
Sue: Okay Cass, so what happens next?
Cass: Well, Macdraw will die in precisely two hours of a heart
attack.
Bill: What! It can't be!
Cass: I'm afraid it is. I have seen the future and have known that this
will happen.
Sue: Let's get out of here. (Leads the rest of the group out of the
room)
Suzie: Don't believe that machine. You can't die of a heart attack.
Bill: But Cass predicted everything correctly…wait…maybe there is a
solution!
Sue-Imperator: What do you mean? I thought you stated we couldn't change
the future.
Sue: Hold it Sue-Imperator. You see you, like the raptors are overly
intelligent for a dinosaur. That's a good thing, but that also locks you
up in eternal pessimism. Bill on the other hand, his simple mind is
eternally optimistic due to the lack of information in it. This opens up
his mind to new thoughts and ideas.
Suzie: So… you're saying if I don't know that I don't know enough, it
actually makes me smarter?
Sue: Precisely, come on Bill! You can find a way out of this! Use your
simple mindedness and idiotic nature! Use your empty headedness and
moronity! Harness the power of your lowly intellect and undernourished
mind!
Bill: Watch it… you are being slightly insulting here.
Sue-Imperator: But how about dumb dinosaurs like Velociraptor and
Gallimimus and Stegosaurus? Doesn't that make them smarter too?
Sue: Oh, they are exceptions.
Bill: I got it!
Suzie: What?
Bill: It's Cass! She doesn't know the future, she just sees pictures of
it! She could have seen another Macdraw die! Notice she referred to me
first as Bill, and later as Macdraw? Why didn't she say that Bill will
die of a heart attack? I'll bet she saw another Macdraw die!
Sue-Imperator: But there is no other Macdraw…
Bill: (Pointing to "Macdraw" stenciled on the breast pocket of his bush
jacket) Then we have to make one.
Director: Damn you! Now I'm all wet!
Bill: Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry! Here, have my jacket! (Takes off
both his own and the Director's bush jacket) Here, I'll wear yours and
you'll wear my…there, a perfect fit!
Director: What do you mean? I'm only ten years old! This jacket is too
big for me!
Bill: (Forces jacket onto the Director) Oh, just wear it.
Director: Okay okay. (Wears jacket)
Bill: Here, to make it up to you, I'll take you to this mainframe I
discovered that can predict the future, okay?
Director: This better be good…
Cass: I am here Bill.
Bill: Well Cass, do you know who this is?
Cass: Yes, this is Macdraw.
Director: (Assuming Cass was referring to Bill) Well, I'm aware of your
ability to predict the future.
Cass: That's correct, I'm Cass, a powerful mainframe that predicts the
future with one hundred percent in accuracy.
Bill: That's nice, can you predict his future for him? (Points at the
Director)
Cass: Well, Macdraw will die of a heart attack in four seconds after
receiving news that he is about to die of a heart attack.
Director: What? But my name is not Ma- GAKK! CHOKE! PANT! GASP! WEEZE!
(Sinks slowly to the floor, grasping his chest)
Cass: Just as it has been predicted, so shall it come true.
Director: (Last few breaths, voice really distorted and faint)
Gasp…but…my…name…is…Joe…Bob…Pant
Cass: What did he say?
Bill: Joe MACDRAW said something like his name is Joe not something…
Director: No…my…name…is…Bob…Bob…Bob…
Bill: What Joe Macdraw? Your name is not not not what?
Cass: It sounded like "Bob"?
Bill: He can't really speak well now. He is actually saying "Not", not
"Bob".
Director: No…Bob…Bob…
Bill: Not not what?
Director: Bob…bob…Gakk (Dies)
Bill: Is he dead?
Cass: Indeed, he is really dead…
Bill: YES!
Cass: …of a heart attack…
Bill: YES! YES!
Cass: ...just as I predicted…
Bill: YES! YES! YES!
Cass: You seem inordinately happy for such an occasion.
Bill: (Suddenly sobering up) No I'm not... this is really sad…so Cass,
what happens next, how do we get out of here?
Cass: Well, all the dinosaurs will get out of here except you, you will
die.
Bill: What?! I thought Macdraw just died?
Cass: No that was Macdraw, not you. You will die, I have seen it.
Bill: Well, have you seen this? (Shows Cass middle finger and storms out
of the room)
Cass: Sigh…as a matter of fact, I have.
Bill: That's correct, I'm never going to get out of here alive.
Suzie: But wait, she also said that we would all get out of here alive,
right?
Bill: Well, I'm happy for you.
Suzie: No! You don't get it do you? (Takes a wooden plank in her mouth
and bashes Sue-Imperator over the head with it)
Sue-Imperator: Ouch! You moron, what did you do that for?
Suzie: Cass said we would get out of here alive, so it we can't die in
here, no matter what we do!
Sue-Imperator: Yes, but that still hurt you moron!
Suzie: So why don't all of us surround you and escort you out of here.
We can't die, so you'll be well protected by us!
Sue: Let's do it!
Suzie: But we can't die!
Sue: Maybe the reason we didn't die is because we avoided all this
debris.
Sue: Shut up you cyber fortune-teller, what you say will not come
true.
Bill: What do you mean.
Sue: It's simple. Remember this? Cass, play the video clip of you saying
that Bill has a theory to share.
Cass: I already have it prepared.
Cass: Truly remarkable.
Sue: Truly remarkable.
Cass: I have seen the future and have already known the outcome of this
conversation. That's why I know what you are about to say. And your
friend Bill has a theory to share.
Bill: I have a theory t-t-to precisely, this computer was abandoned here
deep underground by the government after they made it, fearing that the
wrong use of Cass will have disastrous consequences for mankind.
Suzie: That was brilliant! How did you have all that fig-
====================================================================================================================================================================
Cass: That…that…well, he was about to say it.
Sue: But he didn't! You know, I have been thinking Cass, and I don't
want to believe you. I have it all figured out. I don't want to believe
in fate, where we are all actors in a stage speaking to prewritten
scripts. You know Cass? I don't want to believe that.
Cass: But I have seen it, it will come true.
Sue: You know, have you ever wondered what if you told me the next thing
I am going to say, and I decided to say something else instead, can that
happen?
Cass: Well…
Sue: Of course it can! Well are all born with our own free will, Cass,
you may be able to see into the future, but you are a machine, you do
not have true free will. We have, we decide our fates. Tomorrow is a
story in a new page of a book that has not been written yet.
Cass: But…
Sue: I don't think you will understand, because you are a machine. Now
Cass, if you can predict the future, tell me what I'm going to say
next.
Cass: Well…I can't see that part clearly…are you going to say "See Cass,
you are wrong."?
Sue: No, I simply decide not to follow the future as I control it. Cass,
you cannot predict what I am going to say, I have my free will, and I
decide not to follow the future. You are wrong Cass!
Cass: No! I predict the future with 100 percent accuracy!
Sue: Then tell me what just happened? I didn't speak what you
predicted…
Cass: (Voice metallic and distorted) Overload…system
failure…Overload…illegal function…
Bill: What do you mean?
Sue: I mean all of us have as high a chance of dying as you! We have
just changed the future bny using our own free will to break it!
Suzie: Lets go!
Suzie: So Cass is wrong!
Sue: She is. She always was. She never understood free will. To her,
we're all machines created by a random evolutionary process that have no
free will. Well, she's wrong.
Sue-Imperator: That's good. But where's Razorclaw?
Bill: Well, you should have done that earlier.
Razorclaw: What so you mean?
Bill: Under section 17, article 43, any dinosaur found to be associated
with a dinosaur deathmatch organization that deliberately defames the
original Dino Warz will be terminated.
Sue: I am so with that rule.
Suzie: You know, I kinda worked up an appetite running from that place,
a Utahraptor would do just fine.
Sue: Me too.
Sue-Imperator: Me three.
Sue: Let's get him! (Charges, using the terrifying turn of speed that
all Tyrannosaurus have)
Razorclaw: Argh! Nooooo! Get away from me! (Screams as Sue clamps down
on his back and lifts him into the air kicking and screeching)
Suzie: Share him! We sisters must share their prey! (Clamps onto his
head and neck)
Sue-Imperator: Me too! (Clamps onto his kicking legs and immobilizes
them.)
Razorclaw: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Suzie: Utaraptor head, a delicacy. (Smacks her scaly lips)
Sue-Imperator: Burpp..
Bill: Well, I think this ends it. If there's one thing I can be sure
about the future, it's that Sue, Suzie and Sue-Imperator will probably
reign long into the foreseeable future. Thank you, and have a nice
day.
Sue: Oh yes, and one more thing Bill, I was just kidding when I said you
were stupid and dumb just now.
from Billy Macdraw,
age 18,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Shortz Dino Warz
Tinker: Hey, hey tinhead!
Tinker: UH OH... (Launches granade from M-203 launcher. TONK!)
Megaraptor2001 type x: No damage sustained from grenade. (Grenade flies
into the robot through the hole caused by the RPG, bounces around inside
Megaraptor2001 type x)
The end.
Moral of the story: Don't mess with Tyrannosaururs when you are full of
bull, he will kick your butt!
Megaraptor2001 type x: Wha..Why is T.Rex still alive? Tinker: Because
the robot Rex you destroyed ws the cheesy robot rex they used to film
Carnosaurs! That robot couldn't even fight! Shame on you! Fighting
something so harmless!
Megaraptor2001 type x: Does not compute...Terminate subject.
Tinker: Not on my watch! (Takes out RPG-7, launches! Woosh!)
Megaraptor2001 type x: (Boom!) Superfical damage... (There is a huge
hone in his armour, but he is otherwise untouched, approaches
Tinker.)
Tinker: Uh Oh... (Takes out M-16 rifle with a M-203 Grenade launcher
attachment-RATATATTATATATATTATA.)
Megaraptor2001 type x: Smalls arms fire is ineffective...(Bullets glance
of him as he approaches Tinker.)
Tinker: Think again, tin can, see ya candy boy! (Runs and jumps for
cover.)
Megaraptor2001 type x: Termate subject-MASSIVE SYSTEMS FAILURE-
(KABOOROOM!!! THE GRENADE EXPLODES INSIDE HIM, RIPPING HIM TO PIECES OF
SCRAP METAL.)
Tinker: Yaaayy! I win! If you are wondering where Sue is, well, she is
in the hospital recovering from the wounds sustained while rescuing me.
from Billy Macdraw,
age 18,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Tinker has been kidnapped by the other
dinosaurs who want Sue's title of the Tyrant Lizard King. Who will
happen? Find out in:
Dino Warz 9
"In the conservative region far from the chaotic edge, individual
elements coalesce slowly, showing no clear pattern."
Newsflash: Tyrannosaurus Rex Dethroned!
In a shocking move at 4.pm local time in Argentina, The Tyrannosaurus
Rex known as Sue has given up her title for the Tyrant Lizard King" .
The sudden move has shocked fans and fellow Tyrannosaurids worldwide.
According to the Dino Warz rules, a dinosaur that gives up its title
cannot claim it back again.
8:50 AM 10/20/00, Argentina
Suzie: Arghhh! (Chews up newspaper and tosses it away) Sue, you can't
let them do this!
==============================================================================================================================
SUE-IMPERATOR, SUZIE. DON'T EVEN TRY TO THINK OF FIGHTING IN THE PLACE
OF SUE TO CLAIM BACK HER TITLE. WE WILL BE HOLDING TINKER FOR THE ENTIRE
DURATION OF THE DEATHMATCH FOR THE TITLE OF KING. IF YOU ATTEMPT TO
ENTER THE CONTEST, TINKER WILL DIE!
HAVE A NICE DAY ;-)
John Rambo: This is getting out of hand!
Audience: HOORRAAAAYYYYYY! (Wave hands, Shake tails)
==============================================================================================================================
"Self-organization elaborates in complexity as the system advances
towards the chaotic edge"
Indonesia, Java, Limestone caves
Raptor: Save some food! Under the conditions provided for the Geneva
Convention, we have to feed the hostage.
Several miles away:
Sue: Are you sure they are holding my son here?
Sidney, Australia
Suzie: So, they are holding the grand Dino Warz in this stadium.
===============================================================================================================================
"In the intermediate phase, swiftly developing complexity within the
system hides the risk of imminent chaos. But the risk is there."
Indonesia, Java
Sue: You are right, I can smell the stink in the air, it's the raptors
alright. Some Gallimimus too. Hey, I smell some humans too.
Sidney, Australia
Bill: The stadium seats a good fit?
==============================================================================================================================
"Approaching the chaotic edge, elements show internal conflict. An
unstable and potentially lethal region"
Java, Indonesia, Along the river
John Rambo: Un Oh, we've got trouble....
(A patrol boat flying a flag with the Jurassic Park Velociraptor moves
in. A raptor fan holding an AK-47 rifle shouts to John Rambo)
Raptor fan: Cut out your engines!
(Slowly, the Raptor fan inspects every corner of the boat, but finds
nothing, at last he decides to leave. His patrol boat is leaving when he
spots a crate of Japaleno Sauce.)
Raptor fan: Americans! It must be John Rambo! Kill them all! (All the
raptor fans start firing)
John Rambo: AHHHHHHH!
(KAAAAAAAAAAAAAABOOM! THE RAPTOR BOAT GOES UP IN FLAMES AND BITS OF
FLAMING MATERIAL. BITS OF STUFF FLY EVERYWHERE, JOHN RAMBO IS PROPELLED
INTO THE AIR BY THE EXPLOSION. WHEN THE SMOKE CLEARS, SUE POPS OUT OF
THE WATER.)
Sue: John? John?
================================================================================================================================
"At the edge of chaos, unexpected outcomes occur. The risk to survival
is severe."
Sidney, Australia, under the stadium seats
Sue-Imperator: The match is going to start soon, where on earth are
they?
Java, Indonesia, near the Limestone caves
Sue: (Moving out of the water and onto dry land.) John? John?
Ten minutes later, outside the Limestone caves
John Rambo: See the guard out there? Let me take him out.
Two minutes later......
Raptor: Hey, why haven't I seen this tree before? I better mark it.
(Move up to tree trunk and prepares to mark it)
Somewhere else in the Limestone caves.
Tinker: What's that smell? (Standing up) Mom?
Back to John Rambo:
(The door behind the Gallimius fan is now riddled with over 30 arrows.
John Rambo fires another shot, just as his target spots a quarter on the
ground and stoops to pick it up. The arrow misses and hits the door.
John Rambo waves his fist at the unwary Gallimius fan.)
Yet another two minutes later:
John Rambo: Have you got Tinker out yet?
(Just then, a rat crawling across the table encounters the spilled
pepper, it sneezes. Ahcheet!)
========================================================================================================
"Order collapses in simultaneous regions. Survival is now unlikely for
individuals and groups."
Java, Indonesia, The Limestone caves
Sue: Let's get out of here! (Snapping at attacking raptors)
*For the sake of morbidity, the Bodycount meter will be activated:
John Rambo: HAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAA! (Fires machine gun)
John Rambo: HAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAA! (RATATATTATATATTAT)
John Rambo: HAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAA! (RATATATTATATATTAT)
John Rambo: HAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAA! (RATATATTATATATTAT)
John Rambo: HAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAA! (RATATATTATATATTAT)
John Rambo: HAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAA! (RATATATTATATATTAT)
John Rambo: HAAAAAAAA YAAAAAAA! (RATATATTATATATTAT)
*The Bodycount meter will be switched off, thank you and have a nice
day.
Tinker: Mom, I am tired!
(John Rambo leaves the scene for Tinker, Carcharodontosaurus looks bad,
with gaping wounds all over his body, but Sue dosen't look too much
better.)
Carcharodontosaurus: ROARRR! (Rams Sue again, she falls,slides and stops
just short of falling into a deep chasm. She weakly tries to get up)
Fifteen minutes later, Outside the Limestone caves, Java, Indonesia
(Helicopters start to fly overhead, their wings heavy with armament.
They rapidly start to unload on the Limestone caves with a mixture of
napalm and rockets. Before long, the entire cave is void of any complex
organisms)
Sue: (Collapsing onto the grass) We made it!
=========================================================================================================
"Partial restabilization may occur after eliminating destructive
elements. Survival partly determined by chance events"
Sidney, Australia
Over speakerphone: Bill? Bill? We made it; the eaglet is in the nest! I
repeat; the eaglet is in the nest!
Under the stadium seats:
Suzie: When will it be?
(The arena is a mess, dead dinosaurs lie everywhere. A maimed
Gigantosaurus lies collasped over a dying Triceratops. Unmarked Ostrich
mimics and Allosaurids lie dead everywhere around a dying Ultrasauros.
In the middle of all this; the final contenders a pack of Velociraptors
fight a Ankylosaurus.)
Sue-Imperator: Come on! Come on.......
(Then the lights went out)
Sue-Imperator: ROOAAAAARRRRRR!
(For a few crucial seconds, the audience falls silent. Then come s the
sound of splintering wood and screaming spectators as they are thrown
out of their seat. In the darkness, roars and cries of pain ring through
the indoor stadium. Then as suddenly as it had started, the lights come
on again.
The lights revel a gory sight, Suzie stands over a pack of dead
Velociraptors that tried to reinforce their buddies. Sue-Imperator
stands over the Ankylosaurus she had disemboweled and the Velociraptors
she has dismembered and roars like the triumphant T.Rex in Jurassic
Park. )
Referee: Tyrannosaurus Imperator wins! But the title cannot be given to
you as you are already the Tyrant Lizard Emperor.
10/20/00 1:39:02 PM
John Rambo: They love you Sue.
The end.
*Special thanks going out to Michael Crichton, JC. This Dino Warz
episode would not have been possible without you.
Death of a Dynasty
(This is the last eposide of season 2)
===============================================================================================================================
First Configuration
Ian Malcolm
===============================================================================================================================
"It's the end of an era!" Complained Tyrannosaurus fan Honkie Tong.
"I've never though it would end this way!" This stunning move ends a
85-million year reign for the Tyrannosaur family, and a 75-million year
reign for Tyrannosaurus.
On the other side, however, are the fans of other dinosaurs. " It's
about time." Said K.K, an avid Gallimimus fan. " T.Rex has hogged
the space of ruler of all dinosaurs for too long, it's time others got a
chance."
Even the name Tyrannosaurus Rex may be changed as the title "Rex" will
have to go to the new ruler of the dinosaurs. "It's a sad event." Claims
paleontologist Robert T. Bakker " Tyrannosaurus Rex was one of my
favourite dinosaurs, it sad that it may have to be called Tyrannosaurus
Amercanius from now on, it's a Death of a Dynasty."
After the intial shock had worn off, people are now asking why. "The
raptors must have cheated again to make Sue do this!" Claims angry
Tyrannosaur fan The Rock. " Sue has to do something!"
But for now, it looks like it's the end of and era.
Bill: Think of your fans!
Sue-Imperator: She's thinking about her son, we've to come up with a
plan.
John Rambo: Sue, we'll save your son.
Sue: I know, but I had to give up my title of ruler to buy Tinker some
time. They would have killed Tinker by now had I not done that.
Sue-Imperator: Easy, now that we have done what they say, they will
return Tinker. And once they do that, I can fight for your title and get
it back for you!
Bill: Woah, the rules say the dinosaur species that gives up it's name
cannot claim it back again...
Sue-Imperator: But I am a Tyrannosaurus Imperator, not a T.Rex,
technically, I can fight for the title!
Bill: But you cannot hold two titles at once, you are already the
"Tyrant Lizard Imperator"
Sue-Imperator: Simple, Sue, you can have my title for the time being. I
will become a common dinosaur and help you to reclaim your throne.
Sue: But, but I can't!
Sue-Imperator: Yes you can, jus-
Bill: I don't think that matters anymore, none of you are going to
fight.
Sue-Imperator: Huh? Why?
Bill: They have sent us another message.....
==============================================================================================================================
Sue: No need to get excited, I have a plan.
Sue-Imperator: What?
Suzie: You have a solution?
Bill: I'd like to hear it.
Sue: Simple. Sue-Imperator, Suzie. You will attend the Dino Warz they
will be holding to fight for my title.
Suzie: But they will kill Tinker!
Sue: I said attend, not take part!
Sue-Imperator: Then what's the point of that?
Sue: I and John will rescue Tinker, and at the moment Tinker is rescued,
Sue-Imperator can enter the contest and kick their butts.
John Rambo: Anytime baby.
Bill: One more problem.
Sue: What?
Bill: Sue-Imperator still can't fight as she can't have two titles at
once, she is aready the "Tyrant Lizard Imperator"
Sue-Imperator: I am? no I am not!
Bill: Huh? Then who is?
Sue-Imperator: You can ask that Tyrannosaurus Rex/Imperator over there
(Points at Sue).
Sue: Me? I can't have your title!
Sue-Imperator: Yes you can, now shut up and lets kick some butt.
Bill: We have to hurry, the contest starts tomorrow.
Sue: (Rearing up) Alright, people...Dinosaurs, Gentlemen. In less then
thirty hours, we will be going to fight our battles, it will be the
biggest and most important battle in the history of Tyrannosaurus.
Tyrannosaurus huh? Word should have a new meaning for all of us today.
We cannot be divided my our own petty differences anymore. Perhaps I
find there is a certain sense of irony today is a the 20th of October.
Today we'll will not be fighting against tyranny, persecution or
oppression, but for our SURVIVAL. We're fighting for our right to live.
And if we win the day, the 20th of October will be known as the day when
the Tyrannosaurus stood shoulder to shoulder and declared in ONE VOICE.
" WE WILL NOT GO SILENTLY INTO THE NIGHT, WE WILL NOT GIVE UP WITHOUT A
FIGHT." WE WILL NOT DIE, WE WILL
SURVIVE!....TODAY.....WE...CELEBRATE.......OUR...TYRANNOSAURUS DAY!
Sue: Alright, Bill, we're going to rescue Tinker, you take care of my
sisters.
Bill: Darn it Sue, you are going to get yourself killed.
Sue: Just do it. I've to find Tinker.
Bill: How do you do that?
Sue: I can track his sent.
Bill: You're kidding, even the Bloodhounds used by the police didn't
find anything.
Sue: I am telling you, I can smell Tinker.....Let's get started.
Second Configuration
Ian Malcolm
==============================================================================================================================
Gallimimus: I wouldn't want to break Geneva Convention regulations!
Let's just kill him so we don't have to share!
Tinker: (Bites bars of cage) You won't get away with this!
Raptor: Are we going to kill him?
Gallimimus: Yes!
Raptor: But why?
Gallimimus: Somebody's got to pay for all our brothers killed by Sue. As
my old commander Gen. Fiasco would say. "An eye for an eye, a tooth for
a boo-boo!"
Raptor: Let's just make him listen to our stupid macho dialogue.
Gallimimus: We can't do that! "Torture" is against the Geneva Convention
agreements!
Raptor: Whatever!
John Rambo: Yes, the government said some animals have been killing
their livestock and villagers over here.
Sue: Could be tigers...
John Rambo: Yes, but they say the monsters only come out in very hot
weather, is ruthless, swift! Has no feelings, no mercy as it preys on
poor, helpless victims!
Sue: Sounds like we are dealing with the air conditioning repairman in
the summer!
Bill: Yup, we are holding the Dino Warz here for Sue's title. We even
have a snazzy slogan for the match!
Sue-Imperator: What will that be?
Bill: Sidney 2000!
Suzie: Not very original, is it?
Bill: You must get ready to hide.
Third Configuration
Ian Malcolm
===============================================================================================================================
John Rambo: So you say they are in the limestone caves.....
Sue: Right, we're downwind of there. It's the only space big enough to
hide a force with that stink.
John Rambo: Okay, we must take the boat. (Points to a fairly large
tugboat)
Sue: But I have to stay hidden....
John Rambo: Simple, just hide the container on the boat. (Points at
cargo cantainer on the boat.)
Sue: Got it, let's do it.
Suzie: (Hiding under stadium seats) Tight, but not bad.
Sue-Imperator: Easy for you to say. I am thirty percent larger than
you.
Bill: Well, been great girls, the match starts tomorrow.
Sue-Imperator: So what do we do?
Bill: John Rambo will call me when they've rescued Tinker. I will cut
the power to the stadium for a few seconds, enough for you to burst out
from your hiding place. Then you can, take them out, take them down, do
your stuff.
Suzie: But my species is not allowed to take part in the battle, what do
I do?
Bill: Your job is to prevent more extra dinosaurs from joining the fray.
Sue-Imperator may not be able to handle enemy reinforcements.
Suzie: Got it, let's do it.
Fourth Configuration
Ian Malcolm
===============================================================================================================================
10:03 AM The next day
Sue: (From inside container) What?
John Rambo: There- wait, lets use our code phrases
Sue: Okay.....
John Rambo: Eagle to Rex, Eagle to Rex, there are "Indians on the
warpath!"
Sue: (Sticking head out looking around) There's no Indians here.
John Rambo: Do not take literally, I repeat, do not take literally! "The
vultures are circling the carcass, the vultures are circling the
carcass."
Sue: Well, I see a couple of gulls but...
John Rambo: No! "The Pit Bull is out of the cage!" "The crypts are
raiding the liquor store!"
Sue: Hey.....you yanking my crank?
John Rambo: There's a patrol boat! Hide!
Sue: Oh! (Ducks head into container)
John Rambo: (Shrugs)
Raptor fan: Cut out your engines, we are coming onboard!
John Rambo: Li pa wo shou, Amercaniese, shui ei shu zi la la!
*I don't speak english, I am a ignorant fisherman!
Raptor Fan: Pant tan wo boata wo wat, kil lag!
*Cut out your engines, we are coming aboard.
John Rambo: Ahhh, lai pa! Mana some fudge?
*Come onboard, want some fudge?
Raptor fan: Neit! Lai ma Jenny Craig
*No thanks, I am on Jenny Craig.
John Rambo: Sue! Get off, can you swim?
Sue: Of course I can! (Jumps off boat and disappears into river)
John Rambo: Take this HAAAAA YAAAAA! (Fires back, but is hopelessy
outnumbered.)
Leading Raptor fan: AH HA HA MUAH HA HA (Swings a huge 50.cal machine
gun about, knocking one of his men off the boat, he starts firing.)
John Rambo: Woah! (Dunks for cover as the 12.7mm rounds tear up the
boat. Dives into the cabin and grabs an extra chain of ammo. He crashes
through the cabin window just as a few bullets tear into the Japaleno
Sauce. BOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM! The boat blows up!)
Leading Raptor fan: Waah ha ha ha!
John Rambo: Not so fast! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (As the smoke clears, John
Rambo is standing on a tiny piece of the boat, as he fires his machine
gun, hundreds of rounds rain out of his weapon)
Raptor fan: Ah! (Is hit, falls into river)
Raptor fan: Ack! (Is hit, falls into river in a double summersualt)
(One by one, John Rambo finishes off the raptor fans. There are so many
rounds fired that the spent shells pile up to his knees. Only the
leading Raptor fan is left.)
John Rambo: Aloo! Aloo! Aloo! (Click Click Click!) Uh oh, out of
ammo!
Leading Raptor fan: AHHHH HA HA HA HA MUAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HAAAAAAA-(Stries to scream when John Rambo throws a grenade into his
open mouth. He swallows it.) Uh oh...eep!
Fifth Configuration
Ian Malcolm
==============================================================================================================================
Suzie: I hope they are saf- idiot! Some guy dropped a ice-cream cone on
my head! He's lucky I liked it, or else he'd be dead by now.
Sue-Imperator: Hush, lets wait.
John Rambo: HERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (Plunges out of the sky, lands
headfirst in the soil-and sticks there)
Sue: John, John! You made it! (Pulls him out)
John Rambo: That's right Sandy, the time is 10.58 exactly. And next is
news on the BBC! (Faints)
Sue: John? John?
John Rambo: Owww, yes?
Sue: Okay, you're alright, right?
John Rambo: Yes I am, lets move.
Sue: Go ahead, I have to hide.
John Rambo: Psst...psst.
Gallimimus fan: Huh? (Walks over to their hiding place)
John Rambo: Hurgh! (Leaps out silently and ties a necktie for the
surprised guard, he tightens the tie.)
Gallimimus fan: Gakkk! (Dies.)
John Rambo: Now, wait here. (Walks up to fence, takes out wire cutters
and start to cut fence. After three minutes of effort, he cuts a small
circle and pulls out the parts of the fence he cut away. The entire
fence falls down.)
Sue: Nevermind....(Walks into the Limestone caves with John Rambo)
John Rambo: Lets take out the guards!
Sue: Got it.
Sue: Wrong tree buster. (Grabs him and kills him before he realizes he
was looking at her leg all the time.)
John Rambo: Ready Sue? (Stands outside the guardhouse)
Sue: Ready!(Stands in front of door with mouth open)
John Rambo: Hello? (Knocks on door)
Raptor fan: Yawnn...what? (Opens door and walks straight into the jaws
of Sue, dies)
John Rambo: Alright, I will take out the last guard, you find your son,
okay?
Sue: Got it! (Moves off)
John Rambo: This won't take long. (Takes out a case and opens it. It's
his bow and arrow set we always see in the movies. He selects a arrow
tip and starts to screw it on. Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!)
Gallimimus fan: What is that noise. (Steps out of guardhouse)
John Rambo: (Takes aim and fires, but at that time, a chicken crows and
his target turns, the arrow misses and hits the door behind) Darn.
(Reloads)
John Rambo: (Fires another arrow. But a donkey brays and the target
turns. Misses again.) Darn! (Reloads)
John Rambo: (Fires YET another arrow. Same thing happens and he misses)
Sigh... (Reloads)
Sue: Tinker! I found you!
Tinker: Quiet mom, there's a raptor fan sleeping here, he's guarding
me!
Sue: I'll eat him!
Tinker: But mom! He might raise the alarm.
Sue: Fine, I'll wait for John to come.
Gallimius fan: Time to go back! (Flips quarter, turns around)
Waaarrghhh! (Sees arrows on the door, turns around and spots John Rambo,
fumbles to load rifle)
John Rambo: ( Relises he is out of arrows, spots a Rooster near him,
picks it up)
Rooster: Puck Puck Puck?
Gallimius fan: Hargh....arghh..(Manages to get magazine in, cocks the
rifle, takes aim)
John Rambo: (Loads the chicken, pulls back, releases.)
Rooster: BUCKKKAAHHHHHHHHHH! (Flies towards the Gallimimus fan, hits him
mid torso)
Gallimius fan: Ergh! (Looks down to see chicken buried in him. Collapses
and dies.)
Rooster: Puck puck puck? (Crows, lays egg)
Sue: I can't risk waking the guard up, (Pointing to Raptor fan.)
Tinker: The keys! (Pointing to a bunch of keys on the table where the
Raptor fan is sleeping at)
John Rambo: I'll get it...(Picks up broom and aims for the keys, but
knocks over a pepper shaker instead.)
Raptor fan: Haa...haa. (Rubs nose, goes back to sleep)
John Rambo: Woops! (Accidentally prods the guard in the ear)
Raptor fan: Argh...ha..(Waves broom off, goes back to sleep)
John Rambo: Un Oh...(Accidentally prods guard in the eye)
Raptor fan: Ahh...ha...(Goes back to sleep)
John Rambo: Oops! (Prods him in nose)
Raptor fan: Leave....me...alone...ahhhh...(Waves broom off, continues
sleeping)
John Rambo: Almost got it! (Nearly catches the key ring, but triggers
off radio accidentally) Woops!
Radio: YAAAAAAAAAAA! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I DREAMING, YOU'RE DREAMING!
AHHHHHHH! (Heavy metal song)
John Rambo: Darn! (Switches to classical, then turns it off, tries to
reach for key, but the broom tip is sucked into a stand fan.
BRRRRRRRRAAAAAAANNNNNGGGGGG! Wood chips fly straight into the face of
the guard.)
Sue: Quiet!
John Rambo: Okay! (Notices broom tip is sharpened, manages to get the
key ring with the broom handle.) Yes!
Tinker: Yes!
Sue: Yes!
John Rambo: Catch! (Tosses keys, but it lands up short.) Darn!
Tinker: Wait, I can get it! (Squeezes out of cage, picks up key in jaws,
squeezes back in and uses key to unlock door. Walks out) I am free!
Raptor fan: (Waking up) Huh? What the? How did you?
Tinker: (Holding a frozen trout in his jaws, wacks guard with it)
Raptor fan: Argh! (Is knocked out and falls on the alarm button, alarm
sirens start to ring out all over the base.)
Tinker: Un oh......
Sixth Configuration
Ian Malcolm
========================================================================================================
John Rambo: Move move move! (Shooting at attacking raptor fans)
Tinker: Mom! I am scared!
John Rambo: Save yourselves, I will hold out and wait for me twenty
minutes, do you know what to do after that? (Fires machine gun)
Tinker: We get out of here?
John Rambo: No! You wait another twenty minutes! Go! Go! Go! (Fires
machine gun)
Sue: Lets move. (Runs off with Tinker)
Gallimimus: We are fairing badly, Sue and Rambo are beating us in all
areas....Aptness-of-thought...Colour....Explosive
displays....Originality.....Tracer patterns....I-suggest-we-retreat.
John Rambo: Not on my watch. (Fires machine gun)
Enemy: AHHHH! OOOHHHHHH! NOOOOO! YAAAAAA! AHHHHH! NOOOOOO! (Dies)
Bodycount: 84
Enemy: AHHHH! OOOHHHHHH! NOOOOO! YAAAAAA! AHHHHH! NOOOOOO! (Dies)
Bodycount: 120 -Equal to Robocop!
Enemy: AHHHH! OOOHHHHHH! NOOOOO! YAAAAAA! AHHHHH! NOOOOOO! (Dies)
Bodycount: 155 -Equal to Commando!
Enemy: AHHHH! OOOHHHHHH! NOOOOO! YAAAAAA! AHHHHH! NOOOOOO! (Dies)
Bodycount: 210 -Equal to Total Recall!
Enemy: AHHHH! OOOHHHHHH! NOOOOO! YAAAAAA! AHHHHH! NOOOOOO! (Dies)
Bodycount: 450 -Equal to Rambo 3!
Enemy: AHHHH! OOOHHHHHH! NOOOOO! YAAAAAA! AHHHHH! NOOOOOO! (Dies)
Bodycount: 695 -Equal to Saving Private Ryan!
Enemy: AHHHH! OOOHHHHHH! NOOOOO! YAAAAAA! AHHHHH! NOOOOOO! (Dies)
Bodycount: 754 -Bloodiest movie ever! Bloodiest movie ever!
Sue: We've to go on Tinker....what that smell? Smells like TNT!
Tinker: Mum?
Sue: We have to move...NOW!
K: Heh heh heh, die you lame T.Rexes! (Depresses plunger.
BRRRROOOOMMMMM!)
Sue/Tinker: AHHHHHHHHHHH! (Consumed by explosion)
K: Ha ha ha, they're dead!
Sue: No so fast! I knew you would try to do me in!
K: But but but, the explosion! You're all still alive!
Sue: You bomb turned out to be a dud!
K: A dud? I saw it go off with my very own eyes!
Sue: Sorry K, You eyes were playing tricks on you! You had an
intense desire to see us dead, So you vivdly imagined that you actually
succeeded! That Freudian!
K: That's the worst example of anti-climax and cheap theatrics I've
ever seen!
Sue: You obviously didn't watch the last eposide of the X-Files....
K: Well okay, the second example of anti-climax and cheap theatrics
I've ever seen!
Carcharodontosaurus: I am no illusion! (Rams into Sue)
Sue: Ahhh! (Tumbles down)
Tinker: Mom!
Sue: I am fine...Tinker, go somewhere and hide.
Tinker: But mom....
Sue: NOW! Tinker!
Carcharodontosaurus: You should be more concerned with yourself! (Kicks
Sue in the flank)
Sue: Gasp! (Rolls and avoids another kick, gets up)
Carcharodontosaurus: ROARR! (Snaps at Sue, connecting with her
neck.)
Sue: Ahh! (Snaps back and manages to draw blood, both dinosaurs back
off, bleeding.)
Carcharodontosaurus: Roar! (Charges)
Sue: ROAR! (Charges, both dinosaurs collide, and pass each other)
Carcharodontosaurus: Ha ha, you have been hurt by that collision. You're
vomiting blood.
Sue: (Dripping blood from her mouth) Naa, this is your blood!
Carcharodontosaurus: What! (Notices a seventy kilogram chunk of flesh
missing from his left flank) You'll pay! (Rams Sue)
Sue: AHHHH! (Goes down hard, tries to snap back)
Carcharodontosaurus: Arghhh! (Starts to slash and bite at Sue)
Sue: Arhggg! (Starts to bleed, puts a foot into his torso and kicks him
back)
Carcharodontosaurus: How amusing, you intend to physically harm
me....
Sue: Roar! (Gets up painfully)
Carcharodontosaurus: Die Sue! (Charges with mouth agape)
Sue: ROAAR! (Spins around and trips Carcharodontosaurus with her tail,
he goes down hard)
Sue: Take this! And that! And this! (Starts snapping and biting at
Carcharodontosaurus.)
Carcharodontosaurus: This won't stop me! (Butts Sue, sending her
stumbling back) Ow ow ow! (Bullets tear into his hide.)
John Rambo: Leave her alone! (Runs out of ammo)
Sue: Find my son! Call an airstrike! Leave!
John Rambo: No...
Sue: I have it covered, LEAVE!
Sue: You....will....die....today.
Carcharodontosaurus: I have had enough of you! (Charges but suddenly
stumbles) Wha...wha...I feel faint.......noooo,
Sue: HA....HA....HA (Getting up slowly.)
Carcharodontosaurus: Wha....What's happening to me?
Sue: If you remember, Tyrannosaurus Rex has terrible oral hygiene. Loads
of baterial living on our teeth mean one bite will cause the wounds to
be infected. Most die within five hours of a single bite, but you
Carcharodontosaurus, you had more then thirty bites have you not?
(Charges!)
Carcharodontosaurus: No...no...AHHH! (Screams as Sue tears into his
flank, ripping into his guts, partially exposing his intestines. Sue
starts to shake and tear at him as he weakly fights back. Sue wrenches
one arm off and swallows it as he screams. But somehow, he remains
standing.)
Sue: Die...you...loser. (She backpedals thirty yards and charges.
Carcharodontosaurus tries to move out of the way but is too weak to do
anything by scream.)
Carcharodontosaurus: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! (Sue runs into his side, throwing up
a red mist of blood. Thumbing sideways, Carcharodontosaurus hits the
ground with a splash, in a large pool of his own blood. He continues to
slide until he reaches the edge of the chasm and falls over, his screams
echo off the huge limestone walls as he tumbles lazily, trailing
intestine like a severed safety cord. The blackness swallows him for a
while, but reveals his fate with a terrifyingly loud "Thump!".
Sue: Hargh.... (Starts to collapse from her injuries)
Tinker: Mom! Get up! Get up!
Sue: Tinker? What are you doing here? Get out!
John Rambo: We only have fifteen minutes until the Indonesian airforce
comes and toasts this place. We have to go.
Sue: Go Tinker....I can't.
Tinker: Mom, I am not leaving her without you. Get up! Get up!
Sue: Sighh....Arghhhhhh! (Stands up with superdinosaur effort) Let's go
before I collapse again....
John Rambo: Yes, let's go
Tinker: Yayyy! No more nasty Carcharodontosauruses, Raptors or
Gallimimuses! Yayyyy!
John Rambo: (Calling into mobile phone) Bill? Bill? We made it; the
eaglet is in the nest! I repeat; the eaglet is in the nest!
Seventh Configuration
Ian Malcolm
============================================================================================
Bill: Alright, here goes nothing...... (Prepairs to cut the power)
Sue-Imperator: This contest is aready in the last round, if this round
is over, we cannot claim the title antmore! I am moving now!
Suzie: Don't if they haven't rescued Tinker yet and we move, Tinker will
die!
Sue-Imperator: But.....
Suzie: Have faith....have faith.....
Sue-Imperator: Think again. I have passed my title to Sue. I'm now just
a simple Tyrannosaurus.
Referee: (Looking at Bill) Is this true?
Bill: (Nods head) Yes, all of it.
Referee: In that case, I name you, Sue-Imperator, the Tyrant Lizard
King-I mean Queen!
Bill: I'm opening a video link with Sue. Taps a few keys. (The Stadium
Jumbothron flashes and shows the face of an embattled Tyrannosaurus in
the middle of a grassland, a thick pall of smoke rises from a limestone
cave behind)
Referee: What is going on?
Sue-Imperator: Sue! You made it! How are you!
Sue: Been better.
Tinker: (Pushing his head into view) Hi, Auntie Imperator!
Sue-Imperator: Hi squirt. Let's do it Sue.
Referee: Do what?
Bill: They are switching roles.
Sue: I, Sue, bestow the title of Tyrant Lizard Emperor onto you,
Sue-Imperator.
Sue-Imperator: And I, Sue-Imperator, bestow the title of Tyrant Lizard
King onto you, Sue.
Suzie: It is done! Sue is the King-I mean Queen of dinosaurs again!
Tyrannosaurus Fans: YAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!
Java, Indonesia, Outside the Limestone caves
Tinker: Mum, I'm hungry! Can we have a Hardosaur?
Sue: Sure squirt, if we can find one.
John Rambo: Better settle for a cow.
Sue: Naa, it's time for us all to go home…..(Gets up and starts to walk)
from Billy Macdraw,
age 18,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Hi guys, here we are at Argentina for
another explosive episode of Dino Warz. This time, Sue puts the final
word in the argument of who's the meanest meat-eater in this part of the
world. So here we have it:
Dino Warz 8
10:45 AM 10/19/00, Argentina, Buenos Aires
Bill: Well well well, here I am in Argentina, Buenos Aires for another
explosive clash between tons of meat and bone! Sue is not here for the
pre-match interview because she is entertaining the audience in a
pre-match concert. But I have Scotty the T.Rex. The first male adult Rex
to take part in Dino Warz!
10:57 AM 10/19/00
The Death Match Ring
Sue: Alright, this is our next song, Don't hate me!
DON'T HATE ME, BECAUSE I'M THE BEST!
DON'T HATE ME, BECAUSE I'M CHAMPION!
JUST LOVE ME, LIKE THE REST
DON'T HATE ME.........
DON'T HATE ME WHEN I KILL YOUR DINOSAUR
OHLA!
Sue: Now I like to hear you sing it!
DON'T HATE ME, BECAUSE I'M THE BEST!
DON'T HATE ME, BECAUSE I'M CHAMPION!
JUST LOVE ME, LIKE THE REST
DON'T HATE ME.........
11:10 AM 10/19/00, Death Match Arena, Argentia
Bill: The first dinosaur the T.Rexes are going to fight are a herd of 20
Gasparinisaura!
Ten minutes later....
Pyroraptor: We'll give you a fight!
(Together, the 60 odd raptors form a circle around the T.Rexes, escape
is impossible..unitl....)
Sue-Imperator: What do we do?
(Scotty attacks the raptor pack, sending limbs and severed body parts
flying. A red cloud of blood coats the entire fray, finally, the
raptors' resolve breaks and they start running.)
Scotty: Come BACK AND FIGHT LIEK EEE DINOSAUR! (Chases raptors out)
Ten minutes later:
Bill: While we wait for the cleaners to clean all the entrails and body
parts from the ring, lets interview the only raptor that ever survived a
Dino Warz against the Tyrannosaur. Lets welcome, Ky'lie, the
Velociraptor!
============================================================================================
Video Clip 12, Sue vs Velociraptors:
Velociraptor pack: We're all attacking you! (Leaps at her!)
============================================================================================
Bill: Is it this fight?
Ten minutes later:
Bill: Alright, round three! T.Rex vs Suchomimus, the T.Rexes have aready
defeated the disgrunted Gallimimus fans in a record 12 seconds. Scotty
is still no where to be found, but we are getting reports from all over
the place about a T.Rex chasing a bunch of raptors about the streets of
Bueno Aires, so we'll have to do with the Rex Trio. for those of you who
don't know what Suchomimus is, it's a huge carnosaur which looks like a
cross between Spinosaurs and Baryonyx, about 4 tons and 36 feet long.
Currently there are 3 of them fighting the Tyrannosauruses.
Referee: Alright, I want to survive round three too, so please wait for
me to get out of the way before you fight, okay?
(Suddenly, another dinosaur strides in. It is clearly a Suchomimus, but
it's movements are stiff and almost robot-like)
Bill: What the?
============================================================================================
(Insert a picture of a crossed out T.Rex over here, thanks! Love,
Raptors.)
SUE, IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE YOUR SON TINKER ALIVE AGAIN, GIVE UP YOUR
TITLE OF THE TYRANT LIZARD KING TO US, THE OTHER DINOSAURS. DO NOT TRY
ANYTHING FUNNY, IF YOU DO, WE WILL SEND TINKER BACK TO YOU IN 50
SEPERATE PIECES. WAIT FOR FURTHER DETAILS. DO NOT BOTHER TO CONTACT US,
WE WILL CONTACT YOU. YOU CANNOT FIND US, YOU CANNOT TRACK US.
============================================================================================
Sue: Tinker......
To be contuined
The K Effect
Scotty: 'Aye mister, what do yoy harv foe me?
Bill: Ok Scotty, can you tell us who you are fighting this time?
Scotty: Well, me fight Suchomimus, Pyroraptor and disgrunter Gallimimus
fans! Also fight Gasparinisaura!
Bill: Ok, so do you think you-
Scotty: O'Nessie! is that Andrea Corr?!
Bill: What? Where?
Scotty: I is going down to get her autograph!
Bill: Hey! I am supposed to interview you through the pre-match concert!
Hey! Scotty? Scotty? Darn Scottish dinosaur!
Audience: Yaayyy!
Sue: Ready?
Suzie,Sue-Imperator: Ready!
T.Rexes: DON'T HATE ME, BECAUSE I'M BEAUTIFUL!
,MAKE HIM INTO LEATHER JEANS AND TIGHT MOSHSKIN PANTS!
DON'T BE ENVIOUS WHEN YOUR FRIEND SAYS I' BETTER
JUST BE GLAD, I DIDN'T EAT YOU.
DON'T BE ANGRY WHEN YOUR MUM LOVES ME MORE!
JUST REMEMBER, YOU CAN NEVER THE BEST!
Audience: DON'T HATE ME, BECAUSE I'M BEAUTIFUL!
Tinker: Good song, let do one by Kid Rock!
Sue: ?
Tinker: I' AM AMERICAN BADA*BEEP*
Sue: Go to your room!
Tinker: Yes mom....(Walks off)
Scotty: Me do one by the Corrs! (Climbs onto ring)
Bill: Too late, match starting! The concert is over!
Scotty: You 'ttle Boggart!
Referee: Ready? Get set? GO!
(Nothing happens for a long while.......long silence....)
Sue-Imperator: Hey, they chickened out, they didn't turn up!
Gasparinisaura herd: We...did.....you are...standing on us...gak!
(Dies)
Sue-Imperator: He he, sorry.
Referee: Tyrannosaurus wins!
Scotty: Wat a bunch of wee lassies!
Referee: Wow, I am the first referee to survive ONE rounds, the
Tyrannosaurus win round one!
Bill: 20 Pyroraptors versus 4 Tyrannosaurus! Who will win?
Sue: Of course we will.
Pyroraptor: Get them! (Charges)
Sue: Get them (Charges)
Pyroraptor14: Hiya! (Throws a flying kick at Suzie)
Suzie: Hiya! (Swings her tail at him)
Pyroraptor14: AHHHHH! (Biff! Flies to one corner of the arena and
splatters all over the place)
Sue: Roar!
Pyroraptor7: Hissss(Jumps on her) Woahhh! (Slips and falls, breaks his
neck and dies)
Sue: Use your claws to hold on idiot, you're the first idiot I seen not
to do that! Only raptos decended from vikings will try this kind of
rubbish!
Scotty: Die, you raptr buggard! (Kicks at Pyroraptor3)
Pyroraptor3: Ha, missed! (Looks down to see a long gash across his
torso)
Scotty: Are Harh, I git you!
Pyroraptor3: Ohhh noo! Sirk! (Falls into two parts and dies)
Sue-Imperator: ROARRR!
Pyroraptor4,10,2: Akkk! It's choking us! (Dies)
Bill: The Raptors should look put for the Tyrannosaurus morning
breath!
Pyroraptor pack: Regroup! (Retreating)
Sue: They are up to something!
Alpha Pyroraptor: Surround them! (Surrounding T.Rexes) Call
reinforcements! (More Pyroraptors appear)
Bill: These new Raptors are not allowed to take place in the fight!
New Pyroraptors: Make us!
Sue: We've to create a K effect.
Sue-Imperator: What's a K effect?
Suzie: Morbidity forbids me.
Sue: I'll tell you. It refers to a single point event that leads to more
turns in the factual curve, more chaos will result. It's known as the
"Malcolm effect", but in Zoom Dinosaurs, we call it the "K effect",
as her posts usually set of a series of chain reactions to make things
for the worse.
Sue-Imperator: In English?
Sue: Let's make something to make things happen.
Sue-Imperator: I still do not understand...
Sue: Watch, hey psst, hey Scotty.
Scotty: What's it ma lady?
Sue: The raptors say that the Corrs stink!
Scotty: Ya, lying rigt, who kin dislike da Corrs?
Sue: Fine, they also said all Scottsmen fight like wee lassies?
Scotty: What! (Turn to raptors) You raptor-buggards! I'll show you what
a Scottsman kin dyooooooo! (Charges the raptors)
Pyroraptors: Something has possessed that Rex, get out of the way!
AHHHHH! (CRUNCHHHH, BITTTTE, AHHHHHHH, NOOOOOOOO, HELP, STOP, SMASH!,
BITE! SNORT, BURP! BITE!)
Pyroraptor: Run Forrest, run! (Runs out of stadium with Scotty in hot
pursuit)
Referee: Wow, I am the first referee to survive TWO rounds, the
Tyrannosaurus win round two!
Ky'lie: Hello-ow!
Bill: Ky'lie, you are the only Velociraptor to survive a Dino Warz
against Sue, lets play that video clip shall we?
============================================================================================
Dino Warz 2, season 1
Sue: Hey! Not fair! Ow! Ouch! ow!
Velociraptor pack: We're winning (The entire pack of 20 raptors swarm
Sue!)
Sue: Woah! Getta off me! You are too heavy!
Velociraptor 12: She's gonna fall! We'll be the king of Dinosaurs!
Sue: I AM GOING DOWN AHHHHH (BOOM! SUE FALLS!)
Velociraptors 1-10: AHHHHHHHHH (SQUISH! SQUISH! SQUISH! SQUISH!)
Bill: It looks like any Velociraptor victory is premature! Sue has
crushed half the pack in her fall!
Velociraptor 11-20: SHUT UP (Falls off sue in the fall)
Sue: (getting up) Thanks guys, for breaking my fall!
Crushed Velociraptor: Anytime.....ohhh tell my girl I love her..ah
(dies)
Sue: OK, my turn! Roar!~ (stomp! stomp!)
Velociraptor 14: She's stomping us get outta- ah (squish! dies) Bill:
Only five raptors are left! Should they quit?
Velociraptor 16: Err, boss should we stop? Alpha Velociraptor 20: No!
Charge!~~~(trumpet call)
Bill: Looks like the charge of the light bigrade!
Sue: Yummy! A buffet! (Chomp crunch bite snort crack)
Velociraptors: AHHHHH! NOOO! YAAA! AHHHH!
Bill: It looks like the entire Velociraptor pack is gone!
============================================================================================
Ky'lie: Yes, it is.
Bill: Didn't do too well did you?
Ky'lie: Yes, Sue managed to bite me.
Bill: Yes, I can see, can you remembered what happened?
Ky'lie: Of course, being bitten by Tyrannosaurus is something that tends
to stick in your mind in the rest of your life.
Bill: Well, what happened?
Ky'lie: I was in the charge of the light birgade, Sue got my friends
before she got me.
Bill: Then....
Ky'lie: I think she attacked me half-heartedly, as she was bored of
killing so many raptors. I don't think I had her full attention-she had
mine, of course. If she had really attacked me, I would have died.
Bill: So she bit off your arm and your leg....
Ky'lie: Yes, and I got them replaced with a hook and a wooden peg.
Bill: How about that glass eye of yours?
Ky'lie: It wasn't Sue. It was the day I got my hook you see, then
suddenly, I got mud in my eye and tried to rub it out with the wrong
hand.........
Bill: Ohh, ahh, that stinks!
Sue: You bet it does! Hey, it's that a Velociraptor? mine, you look
familiar!
Ky'lie: AHHHHHHHHHH...Gak! (CRUNCH, BITE, SMASH Dies!)
Sue: Yummy, ow! (Spits something out) Is this a arm-hook?
Bill: Sigh...better get ready for your next fight.
Dinosaurs: Okay!
Referee: Ready, get set, GO!
Suchomimus1: Charge!
Sue: Charge!
Referee: What part do you not understand-AHHHHHH! (Gets trampled,
dies)
Bill: Ohhh, I knew that guy!
Suchomimus1: Take this. (Bites Sue on the tail with his teeth.)
Sue: Get real, you can't do damage with teeth like that! (Swings tail,
ripping out all of Suchomimusl's teeth.)
Suchomimus1: AHHHHH! (My teeth!)
Sue-Imperator: He has weak teeth, but watch his claws! Ah! (Gets
slashed)
Suchomimus2: Ha ha!
Sue-Imperator: Ha this. (Lunges forward and bites into his sail, pulls
back, tearing a huge chunk out of it.)
Suchomimus2: Ow! (Backs off with half of his sail missing)
Suzie: Take this! (Rams Suchomimus3, who goes down hard)
Bill: Looks like most of Suchomimus's size is attributed to it's sail,
it's not really that big or mean!
Sue: Hiya! (Butts Suchomimus1 in the snout, breaking his jaw!)
Suchomimus1: Argghh! Zhat burts! (Spits out blood)
Sue: This will hurt more! (Picks him up by the sail and starts swinging
him Tyrannosaur style.)
Suchomimus1: Ahhhhh! Gak! (Dies as this neck snaps under all the
swinging. Sue throwns his body to one corner and joins
Sue-Imperator)
Suchomimus2: Noooo! I will avenge my brother! Charges Sue.
Sue-Imperator: Not so fast! (Bites into his gut and holds onto his
intestine, as he charges, it unraveles)
Suchomimus2: My guts! Nooo! (Tries to gather them back, but his claws
only cut them up, collaspes to the ground in shock)
Sue: Free lunch! (Starts digging into the dying animal as it twitches,
Sue-Imperator joins the buffet)
Suchomimus3: Gasp! It's not over Tyrannosaur! I will have my revenge!
(Tries to talk as Suzie pins him down by the neck)
Suzie: You talk too much. (Steps down, crushing his neck. A red mist
spray of arterial blood erupts from the neck as Suzie starts grinding
her foot to make sure he is really dead.)
Suchomimus3: Gakkkk.....(Dies)
Bill: Looks like the Tyrannosaurs win round 3!
Suchomimus: I am Suchomimus Prime, I will fight Sue.
Sue: I am sick of you pushovers! (Chomp-Clang!) What the, I can't hurt
him with my bite!
Suchomimus: I will kill you. Suchomimus will be king of dinosaurs.
Sue: No, I am the Queen of dinosaurs, you will have to get it from
me!
Suchomimus: Does not compute, I will kill you!
Sue: ROARRR! (Charges and rams the Suchomimus, but he is hardly
moved.)
Suchomimus: I bite (Bites Sue)
Sue: OWWWW! Roar! (Bites his neck and pulls back. The skin peels back
easily to reveal a gleaming surface of metal.)
Sue-Imperator: What the?
Suzie: Those cheats! That is a robot! A dinosaur Terminator, a
dinonator!
Sue: Argh! (Struggles as the Dinonator pins her)
Sue-Imperator: We've got to help her! (Charges with Suzie. They start
biting into the robot with their incredible jaws, punching holes into
the metal. Sue-Imperator bites into the arm)
Sue-Imperator: I got the arm! I got the arm!
Dinonator: Arm servo overstressed, situation untenable.....(Cruch! Zap!
Boom! Staggers back)
Sue-Imperator: I got his arm! (Spits out the robot's arm)
Sue: Sisters unite! (Getting up)
Bill: Even a robot is no match for the mighty Tyrannosaurus.
Dinonator: Situation untenable, activating Plan B (Twin miniguns pop out
from the shoulder, with their laser sights aimed at the
Tyrannosaurus)
Sue: It's the K effect! We rip out his arm and things gets
worse!
John Rambo: Not so fast buddy.
Dinonator: New target acquired.
Sue: Shoot him now, you cannot reason with him!
John Rambo: HAAAAAA YAAAAAAA! (RATATATTATATTATATRATRTATTRATA!)
Dinonator: Small arms fire is ineffective against me. (Fires back)
John Rambo: Harghhh! (Dives for cover as bullets tear up the ground
around him)
Sue: Can you take him out?
John Rambo: It's a good thing your son returned my rocket launcher (Pops
out of cover and fires one rocket)
Dinonator: Sustaining critical damage! (BOOM! The rocket rips off one
arm.) Self destruct sequence activated, reactor meltdown in 20,
19....
Sue: He's going to take himself with us, you have one rocket left! Make
it count! We have to beat the K Effect of face extinction!
Dinonator: 18,17.....
Bill: I can't watch!
Dinonator: 16,15.....
John Rambo: I have to hit the head baby (Loads a round, takes aim and
fire, but the rocket launcher does not fire)
Dinonator: 14,13.....
John Rambo: What the.....
Dinonator: 12,11.....
John Rambo: Oh, I have it on backwards! (Takes round out, reloads)
Dinonator: 10,9.....
John Rambo: Hatalavista baby (Fires, the rocket whooshes out, but sails
over the head of the Dinonator and hits the ceiling instead.)
Dinonator: 9,8.....
Suzie: We're doomed!
Dinonator: 7,6.....
Sue: Not quite! Look!
Dinonator: 5,4.....
(Triggered by the explosion, the water sprinklers on the ceiling of the
arena activate and start to sprinkle water all over the place, water
starts to seep into the robot)
Dinonator: 3,2..... Warning, massive system failure, Windows had
performed an illegal function and will be shut down, please contact your
vendor if problem persists. (Zap! Zap! Zap! The robot starts to short
circuit and convulses, finally it falls down and starts to burn.)
Bill: The Tyrannosaurus win again! They are the champion!
Suzie: YAAYY!
Sue-Imperator: We're the baddest!
Sue: Thanks John!
John Rambo: Anytime baby......
Suzie: It looks like we beat the K Effect!
Bill: I wouldn't be so sure about that.... (Points at Jumbothron
screen)
Sue-Imperator: Oh no.....
Suzie: It can't be......
John Rambo: They will not swoop so low.......
Bill: Apparently they did......
Jumbothron Screen:
from Billy Macdraw,
age 18,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Well, both Sue and I were surfing this
WebPage when we came across some pretty nasty messages dissin' Sue. Sue
had decided to take affirmative action. So watch out, here comes:
Dino Warz7
1:56 PM 10/18/00, Xu Jia Gou Village, Yan'an Province, P.R.O China
Bill: Greetings from China folks!
Ten minutes later:
============================================================================================
X again! This goes to all the T-rex lovers. Gallimimus is better than
T-rex! Facts about T-rex:He walks around eating. No wonder he had a hard
time getting up! Here's another vote for Gallimimus! I bet people vote
for T-rex just to go along with a fad! There were a bunch of other
dinosaurs with sharp teeth and claws. You know, T-rex isn't interesting
at all! He's just a skum bag! Ha Ha HA!
============================================================================================
Bill: Okay......
============================================================================================
We the students of Siang Rong Primary School in the People's Republic of
China strongly and vermently disagree with K's's statement. The
favourite Dinosaur of China is Tyannosaurus, followed by
Yangchaunosaurus and Tarbosaurus. We find the insults to Tyrannosaurus
by K. very personal. Holding Gallimimus over Tyrannosaurus is a grave
insult to us.
============================================================================================
Bill: Okay.......
Bird Mimic room:
Bill: Hello! OUCH! DON'T PECK ME YOU SLAGS!
2:27 PM 10/18/00, Xu Jia Gou Village, Yan'an Province
Bill: Well well well, it looks like we are ready to rumble. (Pointing at
field) The fight will take place at that field over there.
In the deathmatch field:
Sue: Sisters are you ready?
(The battlefield is a mess, broken and dismembered bodies of Gallimimus
lie everywhere. Some of them are so badly mauled, they exist only as
pulp. A red haze of blood hangs in the air. The Tyrannosauruses are
standing in the middle, with their snouts and claws coated with
Gallimimus blood. The ten surviving Gallimimuses retreat to one corner)
K: Oh no.
On the field:
Gallimimus1: Hey, where is our leader?
A few minutes later:
Gallimimus3: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Some trees shake in the distance)
********************************************************************************************
Sue: Hey Suzie, you got the last three? (Steps out into the field with
her sisters)
3:49 PM 10/18/00
End
*To my counterparts in China, thanks for your chinese translations! The
chinese words was done by Zheng Xinwen. Thanks for the support. Also to
my friends in Xu Jia Gou Village, Yan'an Province, P.R.O China, of Siang
Rong Primary School. Please forgive K., but we Americans are a fair
bit more loose with out words, please take no offence.
The Bird Mimic Menace
Sue: Hello!
Suzie: Hi!
Sue Imperator: Hello everybody!
Bill: Now, we are live, on location in Xu Jia Village, in the Yan'an
province. This peaceful mountain village is well known for it's numerous
dinosaur fossils. Lets interview Dr. Levine, a famous
paleontologist.
Levine: Hello everybody.
Bill: Now, Dr Levine, what are you doing here in China?
Levine: Well, I am here on an fossil expedition, but I have received a
invation to give a talk at the nearby Siang Rong Primary School.
Bill: Really? How are the kids?
Levine: They are not bad, they know surprisingly much about dinosaurs,
in fact, one quarter of all dinosaur finds are made in China!
Bill: Is that true?
Levine: I'll say it's. Currently, I am also doing a dig here, we have
uncovered something.
Bill: Ah, I see it, what is it, some Tyrannosaur like Tarbosaurus.
Sue: Na, it dosen't look like my relative, it's some kind of
allosaur.
Levine: I believe you are right Sue. Bill, you are badly deluded, its
actually a Yangchuanosaurus- a type of allosaur.
Bill: Okay....who do you have with you?
Levine: He's Dr Wu, a famous Chinese Paleontologist. He has been
following the Dino Warz really closely.
Bill: Hi Mr Wu.
Levine: He only speaks chinese, the translator is away.
Bill: Nevermind, we have Honkie Tong, he can speak chinese.
Honkie Tong: What? Me?
Bill: Well, you are Honkie Tong right, so you are Honkie, therefore, you
must be from Hong Kong!
Honkie Tong: I am from Singapore Lah! I speak chinese, but I speak
Singlish better!
Bill: Whatever.....Help me out okay?
Honkie Tong: No problem.
Bill: Good afternoon
Honkie Tong: Wu an ni hao.
Wu: Ni yeh hao.
Honkie Tong: He says good afternoon too.
Bill: Ask him what he thinks of T.Rex.
Honkie Tong: Ni wei "T.Rex" zhe ker kong long you sum mer gan siang?
Wu: T.Rex ze ker kong long...Hao! Hao! Zui Hao der kong long!
Honkie Tong: He says T.Rex is the best dinosaur in the worlds.
Bill: Ask him what he thinks of Gallimimus?
Honkie Tong: Ni wei "Gallimimus" zhe ker kong long you sum mer gan
siang?
Wu: Gallimimus? Bu hao! Hun dan, pen dan!
Bill: What did he say?
Honkie Tong: You don't wanna know.........
Bill: Never mind, lets interview the Tyrannosauruses......
Bill: For all of you who don't know what's going on, Sue and her team of
Tyrannosaurus are going to engage the bird mimics:
Sue: Hi...
Bill: Well Sue, why did you choose this place to fight Gallimimus?
Sue: Well, firstly, I am not too happy with the this post on the
internet:
from K., age 9, H, Gallimimus' land, K's LAND;
October 17, 2000
Sue: But this post made me choose to hold the contest here.......
Note: Personal attacks on people will not be printed (but you can attack
any dinosaur you wish)!
from Yang Z., Tao F., Fu S., age 11,12,10, Xu Jia Gou Village, Yan'an
Province, P.R.O China; October 17, 2000
Sue: Even after the defeat of the Raptors, some people still insult me
and my fans, well, I am going to settle any differences between my fans
and the Gallimimus fans!
Bill: And how are you going to do that?
Sue: We are going to settle this the old dinosaur way, first guy to
die.....LOSES!
Bill: Well, we are going to interview the Bird Mimics now......
Gallimimuses: Sorry, chicken instinct.
Bill: Well, why do you want to fight Tyrannosaurus....I mean, they are
the champions of the dinosaurs and the outmass you at least by 200 times
a piece? Why are you doing this?
Gallimimuses: Well, after seeing that post from K, it convinced us
we SHOULD be the king of dinosaurs! K, WE LOVE YOU! YOU ARE OUR
BIGGEST FAN!
Bill: Okay....But don't you think you should be realistic?
Gallimimuses: What do you mean? We can beat T.Rex.
Bill: Whatever you say...OUCH! DON'T PECK ME YOU SLAGS!-seesh! What
makes you think you can win?
Gallimimuses: Because we are have the legs of a Greyhound.
Gallimimuses: Because we have the agility of a Monkey.
Gallimimuses: Because we have the senses of a Wolf.
Bill: Yeah, and the heart of a Chicken!
Honkie Tong: I say the Tyrannosaurus will win, no questions about
that!
Levine: I agree, to think otherwise will be to be badly decluded.
K: Naa, Gallimimus will win, I have faith in them!
Levine: Then you are badly deluded........
Bill: Now now, no personal insults!
Levine: That is not a personal insul-
Honkie Tong: Hush, they are starting.
Suzie: All systems go.
Sue-Imperator: Check!
Alpha Gallimimus: Gallimimuses are you ready?
Gallimimus herd: Errr, we feel like going to the toliet!
Alpha Gallimimus: Not now!
Bill: Looks like they are ready to Ruuummmble! 50 Gallimimus on 3
Tyrannosaurus!
Refree: Alright! Ready? GET SET? GO!
Sue: Charge!
Gallimimus: Charge!
Refree: Wait till I get out of the way! AHHHHHHH! (Gets trampled,
dies.)
Bill: Ohhh, I knew that guy!
Sue: ROARR! (Kills one Gallimimus with one bite, flings his body into
the air)
Suzie: Roarr! (Kicks one Gallimimus to the ground, stomps on him)
Sue Imperator: ROAAAAAARRRR! (Kills one Gallimimus by frightening him to
death)
Alpha Gallimimus: Peck them! Peck them! (Starts pecking)
Sue: Ha ha ha, that tickles!
Suzie: What losers! (Stomps and crushes Gallimimus pecking her feet,
kicks another into a mangled mass,)
Bill: The Gallimimus are going down like flies, this is no fight!
Sue Imperator: Roarrrrr! (Sweeps fifteen Gallimimus off their feet with
her tail.)
Gallimimuses: AHHHHHHH! (Dies as Sue Imperator crushes them)
Honkie Tong: Can I borrow your mobile phone, I got a friend who owes me
500 bucks from betting on this game.
Bill: Well, it looks like the Gallimimus are working a plan out...not
that it matters.
Levine: Hey, where are the Tyrannosauruses?
(Sure enough, the Tyrannosauruses are no longer present in the
battlefield.)
Honkie Tong: Could it be.....
Levine: The Tyrannosaurus are ambush hunters......
Bill: Are you saying the Tyrannosaurus ran away after they almost
won?
Levine: No, T.Rex doesn't want to be fed, it wants to hunt.
Bill: Where have I heard that before.
Levine: I suspect the Gallimimuses were such pushovers, T.Rex viewed
fighting them as feeding time.
Bill: Is that a bad thing?
Levine: For the Gallimimus, yes.
Gallimimus3: He's dead!
Gallimimus4: What, the Rexes got him?
Gallimimus3: Well, kinda he wet himself to death!
Gallimimus2: I know why out plan failed, because our plan was "run up
and peck them!"
Gallimimus7: Well, do you have any better plan?
Gallimimus2: Yes, here is the new plan, we run up and peck them!
Gallimimus7: It's the same plan!
Gallimimus2: No, after we peck them, we run away!
Gallimimus8: Hey, that's a good plan! Way didn't we think of that!
Gallimimus2: Because I am the smartest Gallimimus in the world, I am as
smart as a chicken!
Gallimimuses: WOWWW! You're kidding!
Gallimimus2: No I'm not, I am really THAT smart!
Gallimimus3: Let's do it! (The animals turn around to face an
battlefield devoid of any Tyrannosaurus)
Gallimimus2: Hey, where'd they go?
Gallimimus3: They're gone!
Gallimimus4: We've to find them!
Gallimimus2: All you guys, spread out and look for them, they must be
hiding in the forest!
Gallimimus10: Why don't you go?
Gallimimus2: Because if I die, you guys will have no plan and you will
all die too.
Gallimimus7: Oh all right, we'll go! (Strides off into the forest,
leaving Gallimimus2 in the field)
Gallimimus2: What's happening? What's going on?
Gallimimus4: Something's got Galli3, I am head- OH NO AHHHHHHHHH! (Some
trees shake in the distance)
Gallimimus6: 3 and 4 are gone, No trace left of them-(Another scream
breaks the tension)-8 has bought it too!
Gallimimus1: It's too creepy, I have lost all contact with 3,4 and 8.
Something's in the forest, I REPEAT, something's killing us!
Gallimimus6: Wait- I see something! Sue-ahhhhhhhhhh! NOOOOOO! (Some more
trees shake)
Gallimimus2: Sue, what sue?
Gallimimus1: Sue the Tyrannosaur!
Gallimimus2: (Swallows hard) Okay guys, get your butt out of there! (The
entire forest comes alive as the Gallimimus make a hasty retreat. More
screams break the silence of the forest)
Gallimimus1: The T.Rexes are real close, I saw one 50 yards away, she
came up and disarmed me!
Gallimimus2: What are you talking about? You don't have a weapon.
Gallimimus1: No, she got my arm! (Shows Gallimimus2 bleeding stump, then
dies.)
Gallimimus2: Oh no, is this all that is left, two of you?
Survivors: Yes, they slaughtered us like sheep!
Gallimimus5: Any ideas?
Gallimimus2: I have this pistol! And 3 bullets!
Gallimimus9: 3 bullets won't stop that thing!
Gallimimus2: Who said these bullets are for them? These three bullets
are for the three of us, a quick, painless death is nothing compaired to
what those Tyrannosaurs will do to us!
Suzie: Naa, I didn't.
Sue Imperator: Neither did I.
Sue: Then where are they? Oh I see....( Stares at the crumples bodies of
the last three Gallimimuses.)
Suzie: They took themselves out instead of letting us do it!
Bill: Just as well, looks like the Tyrannosaurus win again!
K: I wouldn't say that just yet.
Bill: Why do you say so?
Honkie Tong: Look! (Points at a huge ostrich dinosaurs striding in)
Levine: It can't be.....
Honkie Tong: What on earth is that?
Levine: Deinocherius....... I though I would be an ostrich dinosaur, I
was right.
Bill: Err Sue, the contest is still not over?
Sue: What??
Alpha Deinocherius: We will avenge our brothers! (Charges Sue and holds
her neck in his neck, bringing her down)
Sue: (Not expecting the attack) What? What are you, another man made
species?
Deinocherius1: No, we are the Deinocherius!
Sue-Imperator: Get off my sister! (Rams into him, sending him
skittering)
Sue: Thanks (Getting up)
Bill: Look at those things, there are three of them and they are as big
as the rexes!)
Deinocherius1: Attack!
Sue: Attack!
Suzie: Argh! (Shierks in alarm as Deinocherius2 gives her a kick in the
flank, she stumbles, then goes down!)
Sue-Imperator: No, Suzie- Ar-( A powerful kick by Deinocherius3 tumbles
her)
Sue: No! (Doges a kick by Deinocherius1, bites back, tearing into his
shoulder)
Deinocherius1: Why you..... (Kicks her, breaking a rib)
Sue: Gasp-(Goes down hard)
Deinocherius1: Finally, a Tyrannosaur at our feet, the bird mimics
rule!
Sue-Imperator: Not on my watch! (Springs up and delivers a amazing
kangeroo style double kick, blasting Deinocherius3 back 25 yards to the
ground.)
Deinocherius3: Arghh! (Falls down and snaps his neck, lies
motionless)
Deinocherius1,2: You'll pay for this. (They start kicking her, ostrich
style, Sue-Imperator tries to fight back but is hopelessly swarmed, one
kick lands on her head and her fiery eyes fade. She is knocked cold and
hits the ground.
Suzie: Nooo! (Gets up to face the Deinocherius)
Sue: I must have busted my ankle...wheeze (Attempts to get up but
fails)
Deinocherius1,2: Resistance is fultile lousy actress Suzie!
Sue: Ha, you have just made a fatal mistake.....
Deinocherius1,2: And what may that be?
Sue: Never insult Suzie's acting.
Suzie: YOU PUNK! ROARRRRRRR! (Charges)
Deinocherius1,2: Huh? (Confused, attempt to kick her)
Suzie: DIEEEEE! DIEEEE! (Doges a kick by Deinocherius2, sinks her teeth
into his neck and starks swinging him like a rag doll.)
Deinocherius2: AHHHHHH! Help- gakkkkkk (Dies as his neck snaps, his
head, along with a good half of his neck, is severed and sent
flying.)
Deinocherius1: Nooo! You will pay for this someday! (Starts to run
away.)
Sue: Not so fast! (Grabs his foot with her jaw and bites down, ripping
it off.)
Deinocherius1: Nooo! (Falls, at the mercy of Suzie)
Suzie: ROARRR! (Jumps up and onto his body)
Deinocherius1: ARGHHHH! Braggg! (His abdomen ruptures and send coils of
his intestine spilling out like pale snakes. Dies)
Suzie: ROAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
********************************************************************************************
Sue: Sue-Imperator? Sue-Imperator?
Sue-Imperator: Wha-wha? (Opens her eyes slowly as she wakes up)
Suzie: Phew, I though she bought it!
Bill: Well, it's offical, the Tyrannosaurus won again!
Sue: Well, just as well, starts limping from the field.
Suzie: Common, lets go!
Sue-Imperator: Where? Where are you girls headed for?
Sue: Common, we promised the students of Siang Rong Primary School we'll
pay them a visit, we have a lot of fans in there!
Sue-Imperator: Well, wait for me! Ow! darn Deinocherius, still hurts!
(Head for the school)
Honkie Tong: Hey K, you owe my 500 bucks.
K: I do not, I did not bet on anything!
Honkie Tong, yes you did! Pay up!
K: Will not you stinker!
Levine: Well, it's back to work for me, it has been fun.
Bill: It looks like a happy ending.....for the Tyrannosaurus at least,
this is Billy Macdraw, signing out!
from Billy Macdraw,
age 18,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Alright, you are ASKING for it, insulting
T.Rex and such. Sue has decided to settle this once and for all. By the
ond Dinosaur way. First guy to die, loses!
Dino Warz 6
Bill: Alright, we are at a special place where another Dino Warz is
going to be held. This time however, it's the Tyrannosaurus' that
decided to challange the Raptors! Sue, why did you do that?
Godfather i do't agree with you. AND I AM NOT A PUNK! agent kay it
didn't work, i'm still voting for raptr! all you trex lovers[exept
suzie] grow up and be relistic, trex comes agianist a pack of raptrs
dead trex!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
L.?-is that hawian? well anyway...... TYRANA-POOP-OUS
STINKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "billy, you came just in
time. T-rex was on a wave of nasty comments". GIMMIE A
BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T-REX STINKS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Velociraptor- DA BOMB votes for yo velociraptor cause it just is da
bomb! Da herd a velociraptors a known ta take down a whole
tyrana-poop-ous. An dis is why DA BOMB votes fo yo velociraptor!
============================================================================================
Bill: Alright, this fight is being held in no other place but the Zoom
Dinosaurs HQ! Sue? Why did you choose this place?
Raptor Room
Bill: I am here at the Raptor room, alright guys, so you will be
fighting Tyrannosaurus again.
Zoom Dinosaurs.com
4:04 PM 10/17/00, Zoom Dinosaurs Indoor Stadium.
Bill: Lets Rumble! 40 Velociraptors vs T.Rex
(One raptors runs up, leaps and tries to slash Sue, but she swings her
head and cuts him into two midair with her jaws. She swats another out
of the air with her tail, splattering him like a fly on the wall. She
makes short work of the raptor pack, stomping, biting and smashing them
to pulp.)
Sue: Ahh, my personal record, 40 raptors in 3 minutes!
End
Rex Revenge
Sue: I have been receiving alot of complaints about people insulting
Tyrannosaurus Rex, and I have a bit of facial reorentation to preform on
them.
Bill: So, what are you going to do?
Sue: I am going to teach them how powerful Tyrannosaurus really is!
Bill: But what exactly are you so dissed over?
Sue: (Taps a few keys) This post!
============================================================================================
(On screen:)
from coolcat, age ?, ?, ?, ?; October 16, 2000
from DA BOMB, age 2055, DA BOMB'S LAIR, ????????, DA BOMB; October 16,
2000
from DA BOMB, age 2055, Da bomb's lair, ???????, Da Bomb; October 16,
2000
Sue: This is where the Rex fans and the Raptor fans meet, this is the
ultimate battle, this is the final countdown!
Bill: Ok, now lets interview the raptors!
Raptors: Yes, and we're going to kill her!
Bill: But in all the 5 fights you had we her, you lost every one of
them!
Raptors: Yes, but this time, we have a secret weapon!
Bill: What secret weapon!
Raptors: Get lost! it's a secret!
Bill: Alright, we are here at Zoom Dinosaurs HQ, the fight will be in
the indoor stadium. We have with us here today, a few Zoom Dinosaurs
celebrities!
Brad: Hello!
Honkie Tong: Hello everybody!
Coolcat: Yo, whatshup!
Bill: Hello, so who do you think will win?
Brad: Frankly, I do not have an opinion, I am just here to watch!
Honkie Tong: I say Tyrannosaurus will win, she has been winning all the
time.
Coolcat: Naa, Raptors is da bomb! Ta can take down da T.Rex. Da herd a
velociraptors a known ta take down a whole tyrana-poop-ous. An dis is
why DA BOMB votes fo yo velociraptor!
Bill: Woah, Sue is around, be careful.
Coolcat: Naa, da raptors have a secreat weapon to take down da
T.Rex.
Honkie Tong: Now you watch your mouth you hotaired idiot! You-
Bill: Enough! Lets get started!
Sue: Common, take me on!
Velociraptor Pack: Gladly! (Charges!)
Sue: Roarrr!
Velociraptor Pack: Hiss- AH! (One dies as he is stepped)
Sue: One down!
Velociraptor2: Why you! Get her! (Leaps at her face)
Remainding Velociraptors: No you idiot, don't jump at her face!
Velociraptor2: Huh? Ahhhhh! (Tries to change direction midair)
Sue: Roarrr! (Chomp! Slams her jaw down hard directly on the raptor, he
is instantly transformend to mangled pulp and a cloud of red vapour)
Brad: I think I am going to be sick.
Bill: Relax, you will get your Dino Warz legs soon!
Alpha Velociraptor: Surround her, don't let her escape!
Sue: And what are you trying to do?
Alpha Velociraptor: Swarm her! (All 38 raptors jump onto her, and start
to slash!)
Sue: OW OW OW! OKAY! LET ME SHOW YOU A NEW MOVE! (Drops to the ground
and starts to roll)
Raptors: AHHHHHHH! NOOOOO! (SQUISH, SQUISH, SQUISH!)
Bill: Sue's rolling has crushed eighteen raptors! That's the record for
the most raptors killed in one move!
Alpha Velociraptor: Darn! We can't swarm her! Hit and run tatics!
Dying Raptor: Deploy our.....secret....weapon......now!
Sue: What secret weapon?
3 Unidentified Raptors: Us!
Sue: What the..............
Ultraraptors: It's us, the Ultraraptor! Modified velociraptors designed
to take on T.Rex!
Bill: They are 30 ft long and weigh 3 tons! Man-made species are not
allowed to take part!
Ultraraptor: And you are going to stop us?
Bill: Err.......no.
Ultraraptors: We'll make short work of you!
Sue: Try me, you cheats!
Ultraraptor1: Roar! (Slams into Sue, knocking her back)
Sue: Wha- Roar! (Rams him back, stumbling him. The two go into a shoving
match.)
Ultraraptor1: You.....can't win!
Sue: And....why is that?
Ultraraptor2: Because of this (Rams into Sue from the side, knocking her
to the ground)
Honkie Tong: Hey! Not fair!
Bill: One on one please.
Ultraraptor: You can't make us!
Coolcat: Da Raptors are going to win!
Sue: Rooarrr! (Gets us, snaps at the Ultraraptors which move out of the
way.)
Ultraraptors: Get her! (All attack at once, knocking Sue to the ground
and start to slash her)
Honkie Tong: She can't beat all of them at once, they outmass her by at
least 2 times!
Ultraraptor1: Like I care! (Bit by bit, they beat the resistance out of
Sue until she lies motionless on the ground)
Ultraraptor1: We did it! We took down Sue!
Ultraraptor2: We'd like to thank all the raptor fans in Zoom Dinosaurs
who have donated money to fund out creation, particularly Coolcat, who
donated most of the money to the Ultraraptor project, thank you. Now we
will finish this fight by killing Sue and becoming the king of
dinosaurs.
Ultraraptor3: Err guys.....
Ultraraptor1: What? Can't you see we are busy entertaining our fans!
Ultraraptor3: Yeah, but....Sue....she's GONE!
(Sure enough, Sue is nowhere to be found)
Ultraraptor2: Hey, where did she go?
Sue: RIGHT HERE YOU CHEATERS! (CHARGES ULTRARAPTOR1 IN A 35MILE PER HOUR
CHARGE)
ULTRARAPTOR1?: AHHHHHH!(BOOM! THE IMPACT SENDS HIM FLYING, HE HITS THE
MAIN GENETRATOR, SPARKS FLY.)
Sue: I knew the raptor fans had something to do behind your
creation!
Ultraraptor1: So what? We raptors are destined to be the rulers of the
dinosaurs!
Sue: Have a drink and cool down! (Flings a lemonade stand at
Ultraraptor1, it hits him, wetting him and the generator........sparks
fly as the generator short circuits and electrocutes the Ultraraptor.
The whole place is plunged in darkness.)
Ultraraptor1: AHHHHHHHHHH! (ZAP ZAP ZAP! His body convulses as he is
shocked, finally he catches fire and falls to the ground, burning.)
Ultraraptor2: Where's she? Even a troodon can't see in this dark!
Ultraraptor3: Sh-Wha' that, I though I saw something move!
Ultraraptor2: Just your imagination, she can't see in this dark too.
Sue: No, but I can smell you!
Ultraraptor3: There she i- argggghhh nooooooo gakkkkk erghhhhhhhh nono
arghhhh! ahhhh! gakk!
Ultraraptor2: Where are you, what's happening?
Ultraraptor3: Argggghhh nooooooo gakkkkk erghhhhhhhh!
(The lights turn on to reveal a gory sight, Sue has torn Ultraraptor3
open and is pulling at his intestines even as he weakly tries to push
her head away. He is being eaten while he was still alive.)
Ultraraptor2: Nooo! I'll get you! (Charges)
Sue: (rises her bloody snout!) ROARRR! I will get you! (Charges)
(The two dinosaurs collide snout to snout, Sue's skull, being stronger,
wistands the impact, but the Utraraptor's skull crumpled like a beer
can.)
Ultraraptor2: Aggghhhh! Noooo! (Spits blood and attempts to hiss with
his mangled jaw.)
Sue: ROARR! (Prepares to bite.)
Ultraraptor2: Argggh! (Manages to kick Sue in the knee.)
Sue: Huh? Ahh! (Not expecting the kick, she tumbles to the ground head
first, she tries to get up, but is pinned down.)
Ultraraptor2: I...will....be.....king! (Lifts leg to stomp Sue in the
head.)
Tinker: Hey you nasty raptor, back off! (Lifts a M-72 LAW Rocket
Launcher)
Ultraraptor2: Huh? AHHHHH! (Explodes as the rocket hits him, splattering
bits of him all over the stadium.)
Sue: (Getting up) ROARRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Honkie Tong: Yessss!
Coolcat: Da T.Rex cheat! Da T.Rex stink!
Bill: Err Coolcat, I think the police want you for an investigation on
funding ilegal dinosaur cloning...Coolcat, Coolcat! She beat feet!
Raptor Fans: Booooooo! No Fair! Booooooo! (Falls silent as Sue suddenly
looks at them.)
Sue: I have endured your rubbish for too long. ROARRR! (Charges
them)
Raptor Fans: AAAAAAAAAAIEEEEEEE! NOOOOOOOO! MA MA! (SCREAM AS SUE
DESTROYS THE BARRIER AND STARTS TO ATTACK THEM.)
Bill: Well, I'd like to stay for this Rex Revenge, but I don't think Sue
is in too good a mood now! (ROARRRRR!) This is Billy Macdraw, signing
out. As usual, the Tyrannosaurus win!
Sue: ROOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
from Billy Macdraw,
age 18,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Alright, you have been hounding me for it,
you have left rude messages on my handphone for this, you have pestered
me for it. You have crashed my hotmail account for it, so here you have
it, the one and only:
Interview with a Tyrannosaurus
Bill: Alright, many people have been pestering me to tell them more
about the three main attractions at Dino Warz, Sue, Suzie and
Sue-Imperator.
The End
A Dino Warz Exclusive
Sue: Hi!
Bill: Thank you. Now, the question asked here are picked from my hotmail
account. Ready?
Sue: Yes.
Bill: Alright, here goes, somebody asked you how you got recruited to do
the show.
Sue: Oh, Bill found me at my museum and asked me if I was really a real
T.Rex, (laughs coyly) I asked for his number and the rest is
history.
Bill: Ok, somebody asked me how big you girls are.
Sue: Oh, I am 41 feet, 14,000 pounds.
Suzie: I am 39 feet, 13.000 pounds.
Sue-Imperator: I am he biggest at 54 feet, 18,750 pounds.
Sue: Just because you will ask, Tinker is 16 feet, 4,000 pounds. Just a
little guy.
Bill: That's quite a lot. Now, are you all really sisters?
Sue: It's been a long while since we met, about 65million years.
But I am quite sure they are my sisters.
Bill: Another person also asked why T.Rexes are so popular, how can the
raptors be more popular?
Sue-Imperator: Well, we are so popular because we are the coolest,
meanest ad deadliest dino around. Forget those raptor arguments, as for
the raptors being more popular, I can say DREAM ON!
Bill: Woah that's a lot. Now some people want to know why you keep
winning.
Sue: Well, what can I say, I am good. You can read my book "Why I am so
great" if you want to find out why.
Bill: Now, people have asked if you are a scavenger or a predator.
Sue: Why we are both, we scavenge and hunt. But with modern earth so
clean, it's more profitable to hunt.
Bill: Now, Suzie, we know you as that mother Tyrannosaurus in BBC's
Walking with Dinosaurs. How was the production of the show.
Suzie: Well, the cast was delicious and easy to work with. Though the
director rejected a "Jurassic Park" like scene where I take on 4
raptors. He only allowed me to chase one away in a scene. Sigh….. He
also kept telling not to talk to the Ankylosaurus in that scene.
Bill: Well, so much for stardom. Sue-Imperator, you are clearly not a
T.Rex.
Sue-Imperator: Well, yes, I am actually a Tyrannosaurus Imperator, a
subspecies of rex.
Bill: Why don't you form a T.Imperator group?
Sue-Imperator: Well, nobody wanted to face me, so I joined Sue. We had a
lot of fun together. And if I defend the T.Rex, I defend the
Tyrannosaurids as a whole.
Bill: Ohh, some people insisted that Pachy-somethings are better than
T.Rexes, is this true?
Sue: I don't think so, but the Pachys are sure delicious, if not a bit
bony.
Bill: Ok, any further carrier prospects?
Sue: Well, I might be the Zoom Dinosaurs Mascot in the future.
After I eat all the Rex-Bashers there.
Suzie: I have been hired to work another Walking with Dinosaurs series.
They have also recruited me for Jurassic Park 3, though the contracts
are still pending. However, my latest job will be at the "T.Rex on
Trail" exhibit at one of the museums, where I take the place of the
robot T.Rex.
Sue-Imperator: I might work as Suzie's stunt double and for all those
massive scale shots. Remember in the lost world, where a Tyrannosaurus
stepped on this guy? As most Tyrannosaurus feet were too small to
actually cover the entire guy, they had to call me in. Yes, I acted
briefly in The Lost World.
Bill: Wow, I didn't know that. All right, before we go. Do you have
anything to say?
Tyrannosaurus: YES, DON'T MESS WITH US OR WE WILL KICK YOUR BUTT!
YEAH!
Tinker: Mom, have you finished? I'm hungry!
from Billy Macdraw,
age 18,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Alright, you asked for it. Dino Warz returns
for another explosive season. THe reason for the long break is mainy due
to Sue's hospitalisation after her near-disasterous fight with
Spinosaurus. We had to break to let her recover, but she still currently
in the hospital. It's a good thing her younger sister Suzie will stand
in for the time being. Well, here you have it:
DINO WARZ 5, Season II
Bill: Well well well, we are back for another explosive season, Sue is
still currently not well, but Suzie will stand in for her, Suzie?
Cut to Pachycelphalosaurus locker room.
Cut to deathmatch arena.
In the Ring
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Champion: Pachycelphalosaurus Aponint: Fourty two T-rex's Why
Pachycelphalosaurus is so much better than T-rex: One ram and a dead
T-rex. Plant-eaters rule!! Pachycelphalosaurus was as smart as any Human
acorrding to me. One swip of it's tail and, good-bye T-rex. A roar from
a Pachycelphalosaurus and, a chill whould be sent though all the dinos.
I vote for Pachy!!!!!!!!!11
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pachycelphalosaurus. He can beat a T-rex. T-rex is in the dump! T+Rex=
The most Dumbest, Weakest, slow-moving dinosaur that ever
lived!!!!!!!!!!! They can kill a Gigantosaurus, the T-rex's brother. So
why can't they kill the T-rex? THEY CAN! One blow, and--- Dead
T-rex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T-rex is not the most deadlyist,
smartest, cooliest dino! The Troodon is the smartest! The Dienonychus is
the deadlyest! The Pachy (my nick name for Pachycelphalosaurus) Is the
COOLEST! I HATE SEEING THE T-REX ON EVERY DINO BOOK COVER! Dinosaur (the
movie) Is cool, because it does not have a T-rex in it. IT DRIVES ME
NUTS SEEING THE T-rex ON EVERY COVER ON A DINOSAUR
BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Back at the ring
Suzie: THAT POST!
Ten minutes later:
The end!
Raptor Ressurection
Suzie: Hi Bill, hello everybody.
Bill: Well, we have Sue's less famous sister, Suzie. Quite an impressive
animal herself.
Suzie: Why thank you.
Bill: Suzie is 39ft long, 13,500 pounds and best known for her role in
BBC's Walking with Dinosaurs.
Suzie: Remember me?
Bill: Alright, we also have Sue-Imperator over here, 54 ft, 18,750
pounds.
Sue-Imperator: Hi, hello!
Bill: Alright. All this is fine, as usual, the hot favourites for this
match are the Tyrannosaurus. Lets find out about the opposing force
though.
Bill: Hi!
Pachys: Snort! What?
Bill: I understand you all want to fight the Tyrannosaurus again,
why?
Pachys: Well, until recently, we have been feelin' down. But those very
encouraging posts by Erion and Joe show that we could beat
Tyrannosaurus, so we're trying.
Bill: You do know that Erion and Joe are just unbalanced
Pachycelphalosaurus fans?
Pachys: Rubbish, bring those vixens on!
Bill: Are you really sure?
Pachy: Let's start!
Bill: Alright, we have a herd of 20 Pachalo-somethings versus Suzie.
Lets watch!
Stone Cold Steve Austin: I say the Pachys will win, because to Rexes
totally *beep*
The Rock: Know your role and shut your mouth!
Stone Cold: The Pachys will win because-
The Rock: It dosen't matter what the Pachys do!
Bill: Shut up! I am trying to watch!
Refree: Alright, I have done this before, ready?
Figh-(boof!)Ahhhhhhh!
Bill: One of the Pachys have butted the refree, look at him fly! Ohhh I
knew that guy!
Suzie: Common!
Pachy1: Alright! Take this! (Charges!Boof!)
Suzie: Err, what?
Pachy1: Hey? I thought Erion and Joe said we could kill T.Rex with one
blow!
Pachy2: Yeah Erion, Joe, you lied!
Suzie: But I don't think my fans are lying when they say I can kill you
with one bite!
Pachy1: Really?
Suzie: Yes
Pachy1: Try me-AHHGGHHH(CRUNCH-DIES)
Suzie: Believe me now?
Pachy2: Mabye we butted off more than we could handle.
Pachy5: Don't be stupid you numbskull-hey, a bit redundant, rite?
Suzie: Not for me (Crunch!)
Pachy5: You bit through my thick skull! Not possible!(Dies)
Suzie: Roar!
Pachy2,3: Lets charge her! (Lowers head and charges)
Suzie: Huh? (Bok!)
Pachy2,3: Where she go?
Suzie: Err, you butted each other? Ia m over HERE!
Pachy2,3: We're doomed! Ahhhhhh-(CRUNCH BITE SNORT! Dies)
Suzie: Roarrr!
Pachy4: I kill you! (Charges) Huh? missed?
Suzie: Yeah, I sidestepped. (Bites into his neck)
Pachy4: Yaaaaa(Head is severed, rolls into the crowd, who starts kicking
it around.
David Beckham: This will make a good football.
Suzie: Hahahha
Pachy6: Why you! (Charges)
Suzie: They all do the same thing. (Sidesteps, trips and pins the Pachy
under her foot.)
Pachy6: Ahhh! Nooooo! Ah-(Dies as Suzie stomps on his head, crushing
it.)
Bill: Wow, look at his eyeballs fly, Rockets out of Sockets!
Yankie Pitcher: Hey a good baseball!
Suzie: Hahhahahahaha
Pachy7-10: Err, sorrie Suzie, you win.
Suzie: No, you got to pay.
Pachy7-10: For what?
Suzie: For that post on Zoom Dinosaurs.com
Pachy7-10: Heh heh, Er, W-What post?
Bill: Is it this one, flashes a message on the Jumbotron screen.
Pachy7-10: NOOO DON'T DO THAT!
============================================================================================
Jumbotron Screen:
Pachycelphalosaurus
rules!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
from Joe, age 24, ??????, ???, ?????; October 14, 2000
from Erion, age 20, Salt Lake City, ???, ?????; October 14, 2000
from ?, age ?, ?, ????, ???????????; October 14, 2000
============================================================================================
Pachy7-10: Err, sorry? AHHHHHHHH-(CRUNCH, BITE, SNORT, SMASH! Dies!)
Bill: Suzie has taken on and defeated 10 Pachyha-somethings. The other
10 are discussing their plan.
Suzie: Common Guys, hurry up!
Pachy11-20: Get her! (All charges)
Suzie: Hey! not fair!
Bill: The rules say not more than 3 opponents can engage Suzie at any
one time. Stop it, you have ten!
Pachy11-20: You will have to stop us then-STOMP!-What the?
(Sue-Imperator stands in all here awesome bulk and size!)
Sue-Imperator: You broke the rules..ROAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!
Pachy11-20: Err, sorry? AHHHHHHHH-(CRUNCH, BITE, SNORT, SMASH!
Dies!)
Erion,Joe: Not fair booooo AH-(Crunch! Dies)
Bill: The audience is adviced not to feed the animals.
Suzie: Slurp, I agree with that.
Bill: The Rexes have taken out all of the Pacha-Somethings. THey
win!
Suzie, Sue-Imperator: Yayyy!
Bill: But wait, we have new opponents coming on!
Suzie: New opponents?
(The arena doors open and smoke pours forth. A armoured truck pulls a
cage into the ring. The doors of the cage open and their new opponents
step forth.)
Suzie: What the?
Sue-Imperator: Not possible!
Raptors: YES! IT IS!
Suzie: But I though you were made extinct by us.
Raptors: Yes, but we were cloned by a few avid Raptor fans to face you
again!
Suzie: Why you-
Bill: This will be a free for all fight involving Deinonychus,
Velociraptor and the T.Rexes.
Suzie: Roarr! Unite sisters, there are two of us and 40 of them!
Sue: Make that 3 of us.
Suzie: SUE!
Sue-Imperator: SUE!
Sue: Hi, I have recovered fully and am ready for some butt-kicking!
Raptors: Even Sue scan't save you!
Suzie: Sue happens to be the most powerful and skilled Tyrannosaurus Rex
that ever lived, if you thought I was good on Walking with Dinosaurs,
wait till you see Sue.
Raptors: No, we though you totally *beep* on Walking with Dinosaurs!
Suzie: Why you little! (Crunch!)
Velociraptor3: AHHHHH(Dies)
Alpha Deinonychus: Attack!
Alpha Velociraptor: Attack!
Sue: Kill em, kill em all!
Velociraptor4: Ahhhh! (Dies as Suzie steps on him, she contuines to
pound his dead body.)
Deinonychus6: Yaaaa OHHH! (Dies as Sue-Imperator kicks him accidently,
throwing him seventy five meters back!)
Velociraptor10: Noooo! Argghhh! (Dies as he leaps straight into the jaws
of Sue, is broken into two in one snap!)
Deinonychus2: Urgghh (Dies as he is crushed underfoot by Sue.)
Bill: The raptors are going down like flies, they have narry scratched
the Rexes!
Suzie: Take that, and that, and this! Insult my acting will ya?
(Contuines to bite the bloody mush of her opponent.)
Raptors: Retreat!
Sue: We have them on the run! Pursue!
Suzie: Take this, and this, and this. (Starts jumping on the pulp that
was the Velociraptor she killed eariler)
Sue Imperator: Stop it Suzie!
Suzie: But he's the punk that insulted my acting!
Sue: He's dead!
Suzie: Really?
Sue: Yes, you can stop now.
Raptors: Ha, you may have killed of half of us, but you cannot stop us
forever, we will hack into Zoom Dinosaurs.com and destroy all of your
files! We will remove you name from the Zoom Dinosaurs favourites list
and add your votes to mine! We will track down all those who voted for
you and kill them! We will make your life a living hell! Bragh ha ha ha
ha!
Sue: I may the meanest dinosaur, but I wouldn't stoop so low!
Raptors: Say what you like! We are going off to be the king of dinosaurs
now! ha ha ha-what the? (Ground starts to rumble!)
Liopleurodon : (Bursts out of a manhole cover) Not on my watch!
Raptors: AHHHHHHH (BITE! CRUNCH, SMASH, GRIND, POKE, STAB, ARGGHHHH,
NOOOOOO, SNAP DIES!)
Liopleurodon : Yummy!
Sue: What the?
Bill: At 25 meters long and 150 tons, Liopleurodon has no trouble with
the raptors at all! He has eaten them!
Sue: Why did you help us?
Liopleurodon: As king of the seas, I face alot of idiots who say another
animal is better. I am sick of that! As such, I understand how you
feel.
Sue: Thank you!
Liopleurodon: Well, I got to go now. I have sensitive skin and sunburn
easily. (Disappears down the manhole)
Sue: I guess that's it. We won.
Bill: Yes you did. Winner of Dino Warz 5, Tyrannosauru-
(The arena doors open and hundreds of Deinonychus and Velociraptors rush
in!)
Sue: Not again, it keeps happening!
Bill: Woah, stop!
Raptors: Die, Tyrannosaurus, die!
Unknown Figure in the shadows: Not so fast!
Raptors: What the?
Sue: Liopleurodon, is that you?
Tinker: (Walks out wearing a red headband and a machine gun, chains of
ammo are draped around him.) No, it's me mama.
Sue: Tinker! Stay out of this!
Tinker: But mum! John Rambo wasn't feeling well today, so he told me to
help him out!
Sue: Tinker, its dangerous!
Raptors: Might as well die now, we will hunt you down and kill you!
Sue: Go back to the lab, Robert T. Bakker must be worried sick about
you!
Tinker: No mum, now you nasty raptors! Back off!
Raptors: HAHAHAH you don't scare us like John Rambo!
Tinker: Leave my mama alone!
Sue: Tinker......
Raptors: Ha ha ha ha Funny, funny! ha ha ha ha ha
Tinker: Alright, you asked for it! HIYE YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (Starts
firing his machine gun like John Rambo. Spent shells fly everywhere)
Raptor: Arrghhh! Shot by a kid! Nooooo!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!(Rattatattattatatattatatat, their bodies shake
convulsively as bullets slam into them. Dies!)
Bill: The raptors are all dead! The Tyrannosaurus win!
Sue: WHO IS THE BADDEST, MEANEST AND THE DEADILEST AROUND?
Tyrannosaurus: WE ARE! YA, COMMON, BRING IT ON, YEAH, TRY US!
Tinker: And you can see me at Kidrex.com
John Rambo: Err, hey buddy, can I have my machine gun back now?
from Billy Macdraw,
age 18,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Dino Warz 4
Well, here you have it, Tyrannosaurus Rex has finally crossed the big
2-O-O-Os. However, Sue finds her right to be voted challanged by angry
detractors. To avoid a deadily rampage by Sue, I had to organise another
"contest" to settle the matter! This is the last eposide for the season.
Sue's locker room
(later...)
Bill: Hey Rock, who do you think will win?
Ps:Note that unlike a wrestling match, the animals here really get hurt!
Sue: I'm first.
(I know you do not want to watch the ads, so here is a killboard
instead:
T-Rex losses: 0
Bill: And back to the fight.
(BOOOOM! THE TANKS EXPLODE, CREATING A GIGANTIC FIREBALL.)
Spinosaurs: Ha, nice try, but that won't distract me. (Approaches the
fallen Sue)
The end.
Ps(here's one more vote for T.Rex)
Bill: Errr...Hi-H- Hi Sue
Sue: Roarrr! WHAT!
Bill: I know the tu-turn of events-s have an-angered you, wh-what
hap-happened.
Sue: COME CLOSER, I CAN HARDLY HEAR YOU, IT'S NOT LIKE I AM GOING EAT
YOU!
Bill: No th-thank you, I-I will stay right here.
Sue: Ok, some Raptor fans have complained that I have had too much
votes, and want my name struck off the Zoom Dinosaurs voting list!
Bill: So, what are you gonna do?
Sue: Settle this the old dino way of course, a grudgematch!
Bill: But, I though your team finished off all the raptors last time
round, they're extinct!
Sue: Yes, but the Raptor fans have teamed up with Gigantosaurus
fans.
Bill: So?
Sue: They are sending Gigantosaurus to fight me!
Bill: Oh, I see, confident?
Sue: Of course, you just watch out ALL YOU REX-BASHERS!
Bill: Okay, the rules are this, a team of ten Gigantosaurus are going to
fight a team of three T.Rexes, Sue, Suzie and Sue-Imperator. You may be
asking why are the teams unbalanced? Well, lets just say even if the
odds were 10 to 1, it still wouldn't be fair. Combat will be team-tag
style. Ready, Yes? But let's interview our special guests first.
(Camera pans to review The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin)
The Rock: T.Rex, cos IT DOSEN'T MATTER what the Gigantosaurus do!
Stone Cold: Naa, I say the Gigantosaurus will win. They are bigger.
The Rock: Do you really think so?
Stone Cold: Yes, becau-
The Rock: IT DOSEN'T MATTER JARBONI!
Stone Cold: No, it's so, because Stone Cold, said so.
The Rock: We'll see Jarboni.
Bill: Okay, thank you. LETSSSSS RUMBLEEEE!
Giganto1: I'll get you!
Refree: Star- Ahhh (gets stepped on, dies)
Giganto1: Woops!
Bill: Ohhh, I knew that guy!
Sue: Take that! (Chomp)
Giganto1: Ahh
Sue: And that! (Chomp)
Giganto1: Ahh
Bill: Giganto1 is too slow, he can't strike back!
Suzie: GO SUE!
Giganto1: Hi....ya (C...homp)
Sue: Ha ha , that tickles!
Giganto1: Hi....ya (C...homp)
Sue: Ha ha , that tickles!
Bill: Giganto1 is biting too slow to hurt Sue!
Sue: HARRR-YA (CHOMP!, TEARS INTO GIGANTO1'S BODY AND RIPS OUT HIS
ADRENAL GLAND!)
Giganto1: Hahanowyoudie! (CHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMP)
Bill: With his Adrenal gland ripped out, Giganto1 is going at lightning
speed!
Sue: OW! OW! OW! HELP!
Sue-Imperator: Sue, over here!
Sue: NO! I fight you! (Chomp!)
Giganto1: HAHAHA! MISSED! (RUNS CIRCLES AT 80 MILES PER HOUR AROUND
SUE!)
Sue: Oh no...ah ha! (Sticks her leg out!)
Gianto1:(runs into her leg) ??? AHHHHH!
Suzie: Yes!
Giganto1: Nooo! (Falls on his face, ripping his head clean off)
Bill,The Rock: YES!
Sue: Yayyy!
Giganto2: My turn!
Sue:(tags Suzie) Suzie, its yours!
Giganto2: Your'e dead Suzie! (CHOMP!)
Suzie: (sidesteps) Take that (Chomp! Bites his Jaw off!)
Giganto2: Brrrrggghhhhh! Heave margh haw hack!
Suzie: You want it, you got it. (Throws his jaw like a boomerang)
Giganto2:wizzzh crack!~ AHHHgghhhh (The jaw slams into his head,
bringing him down!)
Suzie: Yayyyy
Giganto3: Not so fast!
Suzie: That Gigantosaurus yours sister! (Tags team mate)
Giganto3: I'll take you on! T.Rexes are small!
Giganto4: Err, number 3......
Giganto3: HEY, WHERE THAT SMALL VIXEN GO? (Notices a huge shadow looms
over him)
Sue-Imperator: Never-insult-my-SISTERS!
Giganto3: AHhhhhhhh!(Crunch, chimp bite ahhhhhh nonono Cruch!
Dies....)
Sue-Imperator: ROARRRRR!
Giganto4: You go 5, she's too big!
Giganto5: You go 4, I'm behind you!
Sue-Imperator: Cut the CR*# (CHOMP BITE CRUNCH GWRWN!)
Giganto4,5: AHHHHHHH (DIES)
Giganto6 to 10: Unite! all climb onto ring
Sue-Imperator: Sisters unite!
Sue: Get them!
Suzie: Yaaaaaaa!
(CRUNCH BITE CRACK BOOMW! SPLAT SCRIGGH! AHHHHH NO HELP! CRCK BOFSD!
BOOF BLAM! SPLAT CRUNCH CHOMP BITE SNAP BOORMFGH!)
Gigantosauraus: AHHHHHHHH (DIES...)
T.Rexes: Yayyy! We are the winners!
Bill: Not so fast, Spinosaurus has also filed a protest against Sue.
T.Rexes: What?
Bill: Sorry girl, but you will still have to fight Spineosaurus to
prevent your name from been struck off!
Sue: This is ridiculus!
Suzie: Relax, Spinosaurus is small, you'll walk right over him!
Bill; Ok, but lets pause for a commercial break>
Dinosaur Number killed by T.Rex so far.
Utaraptor 1567
Megarpator 1345
Velociraptor 9867
Pyroraptor 3453
Stegosaurus 1
Pachys 1
Gallimius 1
Gigantosaurus 11
Triceratops 1
Raptor fans 2
Sue: This is not fair.
Bill: Sure it is!
Sue: But I can't beat that cheater!
Bill: What cheater?
Sue: That Spinosaurus!
Bill: What, how did he...
Sue: Look at him, 60 feet long and 10 tons! He is taking steriods!
Bill: Well........
Sue: You have to disquallify him!
Spinosaurus:ROARRR!
Bill: er....bye!
Sue: Bill! Bill!..sigh...ROARRR!
Spinosaurus:ROARR(WACKS HER, THROWING HER ACROSS THE RING)
Sue: AHHHH-oFF! oW!(gETS UP)
Spinosaurus: Roar! (Charges, sideswipes Sue)
Sue: AHhhh!Offf (Hits the ground hard....does not get up)
Suzie: CHEATER!
Sue:Ahhh.........
Spinosaurus: Feel...my....wrath! (STAMPS!)
Sue:(Rolls away in time, gets up, bites him!)
Spinosaurus: Haha that tickles! (Whacks her with his tail)
Sue: Ahhhh (Falls down again, is knocked cold)
Suzie: Noooo! (Tries to climb onto ring)
Sue-Imperator: No! We will be disqualified, unless she tags us
first!
Suzie: What do we do, she cant beat that steriod pumped monster!
Spinosaurus: HA HA HA HA ! (Does an incredible 50 meter leap onto
Sue!)
Sue: ohh..ahhhh(Gets up and butts him hard in the stomach just before he
lands, he rebounds, landing hard on his side)
Spinosaurus: Ahgh! You'll pay for this.
Bill: Sue may have him off for a while, but it dosent look like she'll
win!)
Sue: Sue-Imperator, I don't have much time! Blow those propane gas tanks
sitting near the heaters!
Sue-Impearator: For what!
Sue: Just do it-ahh (is butted hard, goes down!)
Sue-Imperator:Okay!(Picks up a chair and flings it at the tanks with her
jaws.)
Sue: That's not for distracting you!
Spinosaurus: (Stomps toward Sue) Than what?
Sue: Common....
Spinosaurus: Ah I feel so faint....what's happening!(starts to
stagger)
Sue: Your nice little sail also means you overheat faster! Ha(Gets
painfully up)
Spinasaurus: No! oh.....
Suzie: Yes!
Sue: Yaaaaaa! (Charges and rams Spinosaurus very hard. Both dinosaurs go
down, Sue gets up)
Spinosaurus: No.....
Sue: Take that and that, and that!! (Rains blow after blow on
Spinosaurus, bites him numerous times!)
Spinosaurus: Argh, Argh! AHHGHH You pay! (Leaps up and butts Sue hard,
she goes down and slides for a distance, she is knocked out again.)
Suzie: Nooo.
Spinosaurus: I...will..be..king (Stomps up to Sue, prepairs to give
fatal bite)
Sue-Imperator:No....
Spinosaurus:Ha..ha
Sue: Not on my watch! (Her eyes flash open, gives a vicous kick to
Spinosaurus' mid leg, bending it into a right angle)
Spinosaurus: AHHHH! No! (Tries to limp away on his good leg.)
Sue: AHHHHH! (Lahes out and breaks his other leg, bending it into
another right angle!)
Bill: Brittle bones! Sure sign of steriod abuse!
Sue: I told you!
Spinosaurus: NOOOOO! ( Staggers backwards, but with both of his legs
bent forward, he topples backwards and lies on his back trashing)
NOOOOO!
Sue: Yaaaaaaaaaaa! (Takes a sprint ar 35 miles an hour, and then, with
superdinosaur effort, leaps like a raptor into the air....)
Suzie: what the......
Sue-Imperator: impossible.....
Bill: Are you catching all this?
Spinosaurus: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! ergh-(BOOM! Sue! lands on his head, smashing
it to pulp!)(dies)
Sue-Imperator: Yaayyy
Suzie:YES!
Bill: Yes!
The Rock: Yes!
Stone Cold: Darn!.....
Bill: We declare Sue the winner!
Sue-Imperator: You won Sue, you beat Spinosaurus!
Sue: I did? (Faints)
Bill: Somebody get a vet!
from Billy Macdraw,
age 18,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Dino Warz 2
Now, many people have been disgrunted over the results of the latest
Dino Warz deathmatch. In the last contest, T-Rex sue beat all the other
contenders to remain king-(grrrr.....) er I mean Queen of all the
dinosaurs. However, the Raptor team has filed a appeal to fight the
Queen again, and she has taken up the challange! How will this turn out?
Let's interview the Queen
Bill: Hi sue!
The end. Sue is my favourite T.Rex, my vote goes to her!
Sue: Hi Bill!
Bill: OK, why did you choose to fight the raptors again?
Sue: Naa, I have been receiving a lot of hate mail from the raptor fans
over the last fight, so I'd like to prove it to them I can take on a
pack of any raptor to shut them up!
Bill: Woah! Ok, don't diss the raptor fans, they are also here in
ZoomDinosaurs.com to learn something!
Sue: Yes, they should learn that I am Queen! Growww.....
Bill: Any battle plan for this grugematch?
Sue: Na, the usual moves. Hey Brad, I want you over for lunch someday,
what do you say?
Bill: Now now, your musuem contract says you can't date any ZoomDinosaur
visitors?
Sue: Huh, when I said I wanted him over for lunch, I meant-
Bill:Tank you Sue, lets move over to the raptors!
Switch screen to raptor room:
Bill: Hi Raptors
Velociraptor pack: Snarl...Hi
Bill: Say, what are you gonna do?
Megaraptor pack: We are gonna tear Sue apart!
Bill: Why did you appeal against the results of the last contest?
Velociraptor: Cos it wasn't fair. We weren't fighting Sue in a pack,
something we do best! Also, Sue cheated when Tyrannosaurus Imperator Sue
came in and ate the second opposing team!
Bill:So, what's different this time?
Megaraptor: We're fighting Sue as a pack! Two species on one
Tyrannosaur!
Bill: But the combined weight of your team outweights Sue by 2 times!
Isn't that....unfair?
Megaraptor:Whatda you mean..snarl.....
Bill: Err, we better get started.
Switch screens to deathmatch arena.
Sue: Rowgh! Who's first!
Velociraptor Pack: We're!
Sue: Which one of you is first?
Velociraptor pack: We're all attacking you! (Leaps at her!)
Sue:Hey! not fair! Ow! Ouch! ow!
Velociraptor pack: We're winning (The entire pack of 20 raptors swarm
Sue!)
Sue: Woah! Getta off me! You are too heavy!
Velociraptor 12: She's gonna fall! We'll be the king of Dinosaurs!
Sue: I AM GOING DOWN AHHHHH (BOOM! SUE FALLS!)
Velociraptors 1-10: AHHHHHHHHH (SQUISH! SQUISH! SQUISH! SQUISH!)
Bill: It looks like any Velociraptor victory is premature! Sue has
crushed half the pack in her fall!
Velociraptor 11-20: SHUT UP (Falls off sue in the fall)
Sue: (getting up) Thanks guys, for breaking my fall!
Crushed Velociraptor: Anytime.....ohhh tell my girl I love her..ah
(dies)
Sue: OK, my turn! Roar!~ (stomp! stomp!)
Velociraptor 14: She's stomping us get outta- ah (squish! dies) Bill:
Only five raptors are left! Should they quit?
Velociraptor 16: Err, boss should we stop? Alpha Velociraptor 20: No!
Charge!~~~(trumpet call)
Bill: Looks like the charge of the light bigrade!
Sue: Yummy! A buffet! (Chomp crunch bite snort crack)
Velociraptors: AHHHHH! NOOO! YAAA! AHHHH!
Bill: It looks like the entire Velociraptor pack is gone!
Megaraptor Pack: We must avenge our brothers!
Sue: So much for herorics!
JAYME G E: Go raptors go
Sue: Grrrh! (chomp!)
JAYME G E: ahhhh! (dies)
Bill: Specatators are adviced not to feed the animals.
Alpha Megaraptor: Go for her head! Sue: Haaaraahhhh!
Megaraptor 2: She has that deadily morning breath!AHHHH (DIES!)
Bill: Looks like the Megaraptors have not reckoned the bad breath of
Sue, Half the pack pay the price!
Remainding 10 Raptors: Surround her! (They form a circle around Sue)
Sue: Err, what are you doing?
Alpha Megaraptor: Get her! (leaps at Sue along with other Megaraptors)
Sue: Here we go again....(ducks)
Megaraptors: Huh? AHHHHHHHH (BONK BONK BONK They collide with each other
midair, knocking themselves out cold)
Sue: Ah! A buffet (Crunch bite crunch bite eats the Megaraptors at her
lesiure.)
Bill: Well, it looks like another victory by Sue. According to the
Deathmatch rules, only one appeal can be made. It looks like the
opposing force has failed in their attempt to oust Sue as the Queen. The
Tyrannosaurus are going to erule for another 65 million yea- (Two
gigantic packs of raptors, each 100 strong, march up)
Raptors: NOT SO FAST!
Bill: Not again? Another team?
Sue: HEY, 200 ON ME, NO FAIR!
Bill: That's right, the appeal has failed, go back to your musuems!
Raptors: We may not be the king of dinosaurs, but we are making sure Sue
will not be too either! If we can't have it, nobody will!
Sue: For such smart dinos, you all sure are childish!
Raptors: We don't care, attack!
Sue: I am doomed!
Raptors: Sue-Imperator can't save you now!
John: Not so fast!
Sue: Hey, what brings you here John?
Raptors: Who's that punk?
John: The name's John Rambo.
Sue: You don't wanna mess with him guys......
Raptors: As in the first blood, second blood movies?
John Rambo: Yes.
Raptors: Get out of the way!
John Rambo: Now, I have been watching this telecast and saw Sue in
trouble, that's why I came on down to help.
Sue: Ah..it's nothing.
John Rambo: Now, you ain't messing with Sue, you aint messing with
me!
Raptors: Try us!
John Rambo: I am gonna take you guys out.
Raptors: Common, Bill can't take us out, Sue can't take us out, YPU
CAN'T TAKE US OUT!
John Rambo: Ok, I am taking you out right now. Haaaa ahhhhhhhh! (BANG
BANG BANG RATTATATATTATATATTATATTATATATTATA BOOM! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BOOM! RATTTAATATATATTATA!)
Raptors: AHHHH NO ERGH! (Screams as they get shot, dies)
Sue: Er, guys? guys? Ahh, no more raptors. Thanks John
John Rambo: Anytime girl
Bill: Looks like Sue wins again, my vote goes out to Tyrannosaurus
Rex!
John Rambo: I am also voting for Tyrannosaurus Rex!
Sue: Thank you, thank you. Oh yes Brad, about that lunch-
Bill: Cut transmittion! Cut transmittion!
from Billy Macdraw,
age 18,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
The Making of Dino Warz!
Before I start, I'd like my vote to go out to T.Rex, my favourite
dinosaur. Not, lez get into showbiz!
Characters
Finding a place to shoot this series wasn't too hard to find. Many WWF
managers gladly converted their arenas to fit the warring dinos after a
little gentle word with Sue. Contracts were signed with the respective
musuems and cheap B-Grade movie directors to lease the dinosaurs to
battle Sue. The fight, as always, was shot and one-sided Computer
graphics erase excessive gore. There you have it, after the ads were
added, the eposides were sent to ZoomDinosaurs.com for all the dino fans
to enjoy! Eposode guide Eposide one: Dino Warz Sue battles a combine
team of dinosaurs, will she win? Sue-Imperator guest stars. Eposode two:
The Raptors wrath Sue battles disgrunted raptors in the final show down!
That's it folks, whatda ya expect? Want somemore? No T.Rexes were harmed
in the making, only the opponent team suffered "acceptable losses" A
Bill M. documentry.
The Making Of DINO WARZ!
This two parter series revolves around dinosaurs trying to vie for
Tyrannosaurus for the title of King. What results is a bloodbath of
unbelievable scale.
Bill: Me! The reporter
Sue: Powerful Tyrannosaurus Rex, Queen of all dinosaurs
Sue-Imperator: Powerful Tyrannosaurus Imperator, big sister of Sue.
Suzie: T.Rex Star of BBC's Walking With Dinosaurs. (Yes, the one killed
by the anykylosaurus!)
JAYME G E: A big Megaraptor fan who got too close to Sue Velociraptors:
The extras who big scenes were left out on the cutting room floor in
Jurassic Park and the lost world. Disgrunted with Sue Megaraptors: See
above
Pachy: An irrating dinosaur, first to die.
Triceratops: Used to be a peaceful plant-eater, until he saw Sue.
Stegosaurus: Extremely dumb dinosaur, does not know what he is doing
Galllimius: Very skittish and irrating dino. Died of fright.
Utaraptor: Prehaps the only dino to actually draw some blood in a fight
with Sue. Current status:KIA
Gigantosaurus: Overated carnivore. Caught up in his own fame. KIA
John Rambo: Check him out!
from Billy Macdraw,
age 18,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Dino Warz!
(This is it folks! THe very first Dino Warz!)
T-Rex:ROAAAAAARRRRR Who's first?
Welcome to the eonal dinosaur deathmatch, the contest in which all the
dinosaurs fight to see who will be king. In the last contet,
Tyrannosaurus Rex beat Allosaurus to be the champion, will he be able to
defend his title, lets find out! This contest only happens once every 65
million years, so you better catch it now! Defending Champion:Sue the
T-Rex Opponents:Triceatops, Pachycephalosaurs, Velociraptor ,Utaraptor
,Megaraptor, Gigantosaurus, Ankylosaurus, Stegosaurus and Gallimius.
Pachy:Me! I'll take you out! (CHARGES.....POW!) Ha!direct hit!
T-Rex:Is that all you can do?
Pachy:Did I hurt you?
T-Rex:No but mabye something like this will work!(Crunch!)
Pachy:Ahhh! You bit through my thick skull! Impossible! (Dies) (Pahcy's
down, triceratops steps in the arena.)
T-Rex:ROAAAAAR
Triceratops: I avenge you! (charges with horns lowered) YAAAAAAAA! Opps
I missed! AHHHHHHH NOOO! STOP! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....(dies)
T-Rex:Yummy! Who's next?!
Stegosaurus: That......would be......me......AH! (Oh No!Stegosaurus is
too dumb too do anything, this is no fight!)
T-Rex:No contest! How about you Gigantosaurus? Gigantosaurus:(stomps
into arena) Yeah, its my turn to be king, I am bigger than you!
T-Rex:But I am stronger and smarter an faster! Take that (crunch!)
Gigantosaurus:AHHH! My leg! You bit off my leg! (Looks like a stumping
moment for Gigantosaurus, he bleeds to death)
T-Rex: Ha! size dosent matter!
Gallimimus:You're right about that!I'll show you! (Starts pecking)
T-Rex: No No, you got to try something like this...ROARRRR!
Gallimimus: AHHHHHHH (FAINTS AND DIES!) (Looks like Gallimimus really
did have a bird-like heart after all, a chicken heart! he died of
fright!)
T-Rex: Sighhhh the stuff they send me these days...... (Ankylosaurus
plods up)
Ankylosaurus: You watch me do you in!(swipes with tail)..huh?
missed!
T-Rex: I saw you do that move on my sister Suzie, in "Walking with
Dinosaurs) It won't work on my now! (Rams Ankylosaurus, who turns
turtle.)
Ankylosaurus: Help!Help! AHHHHH (Screams as Sue rips into his
underside...dies)
T-Rex: Common, Raptors, you next.
Raptors: Yeah, you're one, we're many! (SPLAT!)
Utaraptor:Hey, no fair, you stepped on Velociraptor!
T-Rex: Common, He was so small, I couldn't help it.
Megaraptor: Well, I am too big to be squashed! (leaps at T-Rex)
T-Rex: Ah, this is easy! (ducks)
Megaraptor: Huh? ahhhhhhh (sails over T-Rex and lands hard) My leggg! I
broke my leg!
T-Rex: Serves you right, you weight a ton but still try to jump 6 meters
into the air. It's a small wonder you broke your leg.
Megaraptor:Get her Utaraptor, get her for m-(is cut off when Sue steps
on his head, crushing it.)
Utaraptor: Haaaaa Yaaaa (jumps onto Sue)
T-Rex: ow! (acts out scene in jusassic park where the T-Rex swarmed by
the raptor swings it into it's jaw and bites it.)
Utaraptor:Where did you learn that?
T-Rex: Wathc Jurassic Park, it's not accucrate, but I learned a few
moves from it.
Utaraptor: Thank yo-AHHHHHH (Dies as Sue chomps down)
T-Rex: Roarrrrr! I am the champ! hey what's this. (ANOTHER TEAM OF
Opponents:Triceatops, Pachycephalosaurs, Velociraptor ,Utaraptor
,Megaraptor, Gigantosaurus, Ankylosaurus, Stegosaurus and Gallimius
steps up)
Opposing force: We'll get you! everybody attack her!
T-Rex: Hey, that's not fair!
Opposing Force: Ha, we know, but we can't wait another 65 million
years!......Hey, who's that? (A huge shadow of a Tyrannosaurus of
incredible looms over them.)
Opposing Force: Oh no! It TYRANNOSAURUS-AHHHH NO YAAAAAAAAA AHHHHHHH NO
PLEASE NO AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OW OW OW AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. (The
opposing force is eaten up!)
T-Rex: Thank you emperor Sue-Imperator!
T-Imperator: Anytime queen Sue-Rex!
T-Rex: Say, what brings you here?
T-Imperator: Naaaa nobody wanted to fight me for the title of Emperor,
that's why I came here to watch you. I see, you are holding up our
family name pretty well.
T-Rex: Of course, the Tyrannosaurus will always be the rulers.
T-Imperator: Well, I gotta go now, bye little sister!
T-Rex:Bye big sister!
The End: It looks like T-Rex gets my vote for my favoutire
dinosaur
from Billy Macdraw,
age 18,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
tricertops is my favorite dino because it
has a cool shape
from victor h.,
age 9,
brooklyn,
NY,
USA;
December 25, 2000
Red alert! Red alert! Insult aquired. Moyjo,
take lead of the Japanese quarter. All other personnel, man your battle
stations!
from Honkie Tong,
age 16,
.....,
.....,
.....;
December 25, 2000
Look, before insults start to fly, I better
deconstruct both competing fanfics before things get out of control:
Dino Warz vs DWF
Action:
Both Dino Warz and DWF come out tops in this section, both fanfics have
fast, furious action.
Score:
Graphics
Dino Warz certainly scores well in this, giving the reader nice visual
tibits to read. Un oh, DWF falls flat on its face in this section, it
has no visuals!
Dino Warz: 1
Violence
Well, its a tie in this department, both fanfics are rich in violence.
Dino Warz: 1
Storyline
Dino Warz has a top-notch storyline, with alot of character development
and unexpected twists. Un oh, DWF fails in this section again, with the
entire fanfic about nothing but discrediting T.rexes. Sorry, but people
actually read for the story, not just the action.
Dino Warz: 1
Originality
Sometimes we wonder how Billy Macdraw comes up with such wacky
characters and stories, state of the art!
But when you are up there, there are bound to to imitations. Despite all
the claims made by DWF's author that DWF is original, I hardly find it
the case. DWF seems to be just a raptor plagarization of Dino Warz. They
say that imitation is the best form of flattery, but if you imitate to
insult, sorry, but it shows your creative juices are lacking. DWF
blatantly lacks any originality. And what's with Indy? It's just his
version of John Rambo! Do somethign different!
Dino Warz: 1
Motives
Well, the impression I get from Billy Macdraw is that he just wants
others to have a good time reading his stories. I can tell his stories
are not really ment to offend. Even raptor fans like Coolcat enjoyed it
throughly.
But why do I get the impression that DWF is made simply to offend
people. Look at all the Blatant personal insults against Bill in there!
My goodness! Isn't there a policy against that?
Dino Warz: 1
Language:
Well, this is where the difference shows. Bill obviously very skilled at
writing, and if you compair the english quality of the two fanfics, it
obvious...
Dino Warz:1
Readibility/Layout
A very important thing. Billy Macdraw's Old Blood and Dino Warz are neat
and easy to understand. To see how this relaly matters, read DWF2 and
compair.
Dino Warz:1
Well, as usual, a top-notch fanfic like Dino Warz comes out tops with a
full score of 8 points...
Well, in conclusion, I'd like to say I think that Dino Warz is better. ...Well, DWF certainly
shows promise, but it has a long way to go. As the saying goes, "Don't
tug on Ultraman's cape."
Scoring will be based on certain features, the highest sore wins!
Dino Warz: 1
DWF: 1
DWF: 1
DWF: 1
DWF: 1
DWF: 0
DWF:0
DWF:0
DWF:0
from Josh,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
I don't have to react, my fans do the job
for me. Do you have any? Here's a vote for Rexy.
from Billy Macdraw,
age 18,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
Ay, are you messing with my pals again? Yes?
Well, here we go again....Haaaaaaaaaayaaaaaaaaa!
(RATTATATARATATTARATATATATA!) T.rex rules!
from John Rambo,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
I give this eposide of DWF a 2 star rating.
It just pales in compairism to Dino Warz.
from Josh,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
alloasaurus - because it sounds like you are
saying 'hello a saurus'.
from Deana W,
age 26,
Melbourne,
Victoria,
Australia;
December 25, 2000
D.W.F.2!
Here we are,AGAIN! Its time for another episode of D.W.F! We'll
try something else this time,because T-rex fans probably thought that
the reason for last episode's outcome was because either the T-rex
didn't have both his arms,or the T-rex was a weakling. So to satisfy the
T-rex fans we'll have a rematch. THIS time,we'll have Razorclaw (With
the help of his brother Slasher) fight SIX tyrannosaurs that are all in
perfect condition! THAT should satisfy everyone! By the way,Dino
Wartz,your computer-generated images of me and Razorclaw were almost
convincing,even though your computer graphics were worse than the ones
used in your first episode.And one last thing,we ARE NOT IMITATORS! Now
have a merry Christmas,and hope that we send you Sue's severed head in a
nicely wrapped box.
Now, as we head for the arena where our heroes will get it on
for the gold our announcers Ray Rapture and Teething "Rex" Ringa ding
ding shall bring you the action in the deathmatch ring.Ray Rapture:"Here
are the champions,Razorclaw and Slasher! They sure look confident don't
they "Rex?" "Duh,not for long,Wapture." Ray Rapture:"Listen to this
crowd will you Rex? it sounds like they let all the T-rexes out of the
sanitariums so they could enjoy the slaughter! Lets hear some of this!"
"Woohoo!Get 'em razorclaw!Yeah!" Ray Rapture:"And man,look at the
tomatoes fly from the rexs' side! Anyway,here we have the challengers,6
tyrannosaurs!" "Yaaaaaayy! woohoo! Get those *BLEEP*in' raptors!"
Referee:"Are both sides ready?" Razorclaw and Slasher:"Sure we're
ready!" T-rexes:"Uh...what were we going to do?" Referee:"Then let the
fight begin!" Alpha T-rex:"We can beat them!remember how Sue beat most
of the utahraptors before the reinforcements?" T-rexes:"Sure!"
Razorclaw:"Can it cockroach!
brains!" SLASH! 'AAAAAAAAAAARG!!!" Ray
Rapture:"Whoa!Razorclaw sliced off the Alpha T-rex's arm!"
Razorclaw:"Sorry,but I just like to do that." Alpha T-rex:"You're gonna
pay for that!" Razorclaw:"Oh yeah? what makes you think that?" WHACK!
Ray Rapture:"Oh man! look at that kick! I don't care how big and bulky
you are,thats gotta hurt!" T-rex 2:"Look at our leader,he's bleeding!"
T-rexes:"Snack time!" Alpha T-rex:"No!Please don't eat me!no!
AAAAAAAAA!" Ray Rapture:"Look at this feeding frenzy Rex! What do you
make of it? Oh,and by the way, why are you hiding under the table?"
Rex:"Make them stop!mke them stop!" WHACK!WHACK!WHACK! T-rexes 5,4,and
3:"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!!"(T-rexes break spines and die). Ray
Rapture:"Look at that kick! I'm glad that I'M not the one in the ring
with Slasher!" T-rex 6:"I'll avenge the deaths of
my-AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"(Yet another devestating kick from Slasher).
Remaining T-rex:"Chew on this!"WHACK!(Swipes his tail) Razorclaw:"I'm
not hungry.!
" (Jumps away just in time) T-rex 2:Looks like I need some help!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG!!!!!! (Roars to call
reinforcements) Ray Rapture:"Tyrannosaurids of all species are pouring
in!" Razorclaw:"Uh oh,NOW it looks like WE need some help!" Hey
Rex,look at that green jeep! It burst right through through the door!its
running over the tyrannosaurids!and why the heck is the Indiana Jones
theme playing!?" (The reason,[as you might have guessed],is that Indiana
Jones is the one driving the jeep)! Indiana Jones:Looks like you could
use a hand Razorclaw! Albertosaurus:I'M the one who needs a hand! (Shows
bloody handless stump that used to be his forearm) Indiana Jones:"See if
you can gang up on this!" POW!POW!POW!POW!POW!POW! (Fires revolver six
times,directly hitting the same number of tyrannosaurids in the head).
Razorclaw:"Wow! I didn't know you were THAT good at sharp-shooting!"
Indiana Jones:"It took a lot of practice." Ray Rapture:"I hate to
interrupt yo!
ur pleasant conversation,but is that female T-rex coming thruogh the
door Sue?" Sue:"You bet it is,and I'm here to settle this! I beat most
of a pack of utahraptors,so beating just 2 of them and a lousy character
played by Harrison Ford shouldn't be too hard." Slasher:"Why you
*BLEEP*! I have his movies,AND the DVD versions,AND all of the toys,and
you DARE to INSULT Indiana Jones in front of me!? Take this as a token
of my my gratitude!!"SLASH!SLASH!SLASH!(Slasher carves a "Chinese
Checkerboard" star into Sue's stomach,causing her entrails to spill all
over the place)! Ray Rapture:"Well,they sure don't call him "Slasher"
for nothing!" Razorclaw:"Uh...Slasher,I think that she's dead now.
Slasher:"Oh...I knew that." Razorclaw:"(Sigh)Yeah,right." Ray
Rapture:"Uh oh,Suzie and Sue-imperator are here to avenge the death of
their sister!" Manager(JOE BOB):"No problem.Just send in the security
raptors.With two packs of every known species (including variraptor)
there's nothing they ca!
n't handle!" Ray Rapture:"O.K,but what about Rambo?" Manager:"What!?
That stupid Sylvester Stallone character is here too?" John
Rambo:"Yeah,and don't call me stupid!
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!"Squirt!squirt!squirt!squirt!squirt!squirt!
(Looks down at his weapon) "Uuuuh...Haaaaaaaaaaaaaayaaaaaaaaaaah?"
Razorclaw:"Don't tell me you think actually have a machine gun! You used
to have a cap gun,but now since they have computer graphics,you just
have a squirtgun!" Indiana Jones:"Let ME handle this." BLAM!!(Shoots
Rambo) Rambo:"Gaaaaaaaaaak!"(Dies) Tyrannosaurids:"Let's get the hell
out of this place!" STOMP!STOMP!STOMP!STOMP!STOMP!STOMP! (T-rexes run
away) Referee:"Since all of the challengers either ran away or were
killed, Razorclaw and Slasher are the tag-team champions!"
Manager:"Could either of you "champions" help me decapitate a certain
tyrannosaurus carcass? I have a Christmas present to send."
THE END
Ray Rapture:"Well look who's here! It's B.!" B.:(Very high
voice)"I'm Mr.Bill! Oh no! No Mr-"CHOMP! Razorclaw:"Yum! Idiot head! A
rare delicasy!"
(Like I said the first time,this vote is for the
raptors).
from JOE BOB B.,
age 10,
Menlo Park,
?,
?;
December 25, 2000
trex
from ?,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 24, 2000
WARNING TO ... OR WHOEVER SENT THE
WEIRD STORY CLAIMING IT WAS WRITTEN BY ME. IT'S ILLEGAL TO FORGE AND
IMPERSONATE SOMEBODY. GO FIND SOME ORIGINALITY ALRIGHT?
from Honkie Tong,
age 16,
?,
?,
?;
December 24, 2000
My favorite dinosaur is the Vilocoraptor
because it's quick and smart and were carnivores like us.
from Scott.W,
age 10,
?,
?,
U.S.A;
December 24, 2000
T-REX BECAUSE HE IS THE BIGGEST, BADDEST AND
HE COULD EAT ANY DINO
from ZAK K.,
age 6,
BELVIDERE,
IL,
USA;
December 24, 2000
rex,t
from ?,
age ?,
?,
?,
?;
December 24, 2000
Coelophysis, because I had to study it in
second grade for a project and I thought it was really
cool.
from Colin A.,
age 12,
Minneapolis,
Minnesota,
USA;
December 23, 2000
Brachiosaurus - because it's good and it
doesn't attack people and it doesn't eat meat.
from Adam F,
age 4,
Alford,
Aberdeenshire,
Scotland;
December 23, 2000
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