Scary Halloween Jokes and Riddles for Kids at EnchantedLearning.com

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Jokes and Riddles for Kids
Pick a topic and read all the hilarious, corny jokes you'll ever need.

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K-3 Themes

Scary Jokes and Riddles
Monsters, Ghosts and Ghouls for Halloween

Why didn't the mummy have any friends?
(Because he was wrapped up in himself!)
What road has the most ghosts haunting it?
(A dead end!)
Why is there a gate around cemeteries?
(Because people are dying to get in!)
What do ghosts eat on Halloween?
(Ghoulash!)
Where do ghosts go when they're sick?
(To the witch doctor!)
What position does a ghost play in soccer?
(Ghoulie!)
What are a ghost's favorite pants?
(Boo jeans!)
What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
(Prank-enstein!)
What room is useless for a ghost?
(A living room!)
What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
(Fish and ships!)
What did the skeleton order for dinner?
(Spare ribs!)
What do you call a skeleton who won't work?
(Lazy bones!)
What's a monster's favorite place to swim?
(Lake Eerie!)
How do you make a skeleton laugh?
(Tickle her funny bone!)
Where should a 500 pound monster go?
(On a diet!)
Why did the vampire get thrown out of the haunted house?
(Because he was a pain in the neck!)
What did Dracula say about his girlfriend?
(It was love at first bite!)
Why did the vampire flunk art class?
(Because he could only draw blood!)
What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
(A blood test!)
What's the problem with twin witches?
(You can't tell which witch is which!)
Why do witches fly on brooms?
(Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!)
What do you call witches who live together?
(Broom-mates!)
What do you do with a green monster?
(Wait until she's ripe!)
What do witches ask for at hotels?
(Broom service!)
What do little monsters eat?
(Alpha-bat soup!)
What do ghosts use to clean their hair?
(Sham-boo!)
Why didn't the zombie go to school?
(He felt rotten!)
Why did the cyclops stop teaching?
(Because he only had one pupil!)
Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story?
(Because there are so many plots there!)

Why are graveyards noisy?
(Because of all the coffin!)
What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit?
(Straw-berries!)
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
(Because he was out standing in his field!)
What do witches put on their bagels?
(Scream cheese!)
Why are vampires tough to get along with?
(Because they can be a pain in the neck!)
Do you know how to make a witch itch?
(You take away the w!)
Where does Dracula keep his money?
(In a blood bank!)
What subject in school is easy for a witch?
(Spell-ing!)
How does a witch tell time?
(With a witch watch!)
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
(Because he couldn't find any body to go with him!)
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
(No body!)
Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
(Dayscare!)
What do ghosts like for dessert?
(I scream!)
What's a monster's favorite play?
(Romeo and Ghouliet!)
What do witches put on their hair?
(Scare spray!)
What's a haunted chicken?
(A poultry-geist!)
How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?
(With a pumpkin patch!)
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
(Pumpkin pi!)
What breed of dog does Dracula have?
(A bloodhound!)
What's big, scary, and has three wheels?
(A monster riding a tricycle!)
Which witch is good when it's dark?
(A lights-witch!)
What's the best way to talk to a monster?
(From afar!)
What should you do if you're attacked by a group of clowns?
(Go for the juggler/jugular!)
What animal is best at baseball?
(A bat!)
Which circus performers can see in the dark?
(The acro-bats!)
Why don't bats live alone?
(They like to hang out with their friends!)
What animal is good at cricket?
(A bat!)
What happened to the cannibal who was late to dinner?
(They gave her the cold shoulder!)

Related Activities:

Halloween Page

Crafts, activities and worksheets about Halloween.

Pirate Joke:
Subtract, then Decode the Riddle
Solve the subtraction problems, then use the alphabet code to answer the pirate riddle, "How much did the pirate pay for his earrings?" Answer - A buccaneer. Or go to the answer page.