Rhymes

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When is a door not a door? (When it is ajar/a jar!) What building has the most stories? (The library!) What is black and white and red all over? (The newspaper!) What road has the most ghosts haunting it? (A dead end!) Why is there a gate around cemeteries? (Because people are dying to get in!) Why did the woman run around her bed? (She wanted to catch up on her sleep!) Why do fluorescent lights hum? (Because they forgot the words!) Why did the house go to the doctor? (Because it had a window pane/pain!) Why can't a woman living in the U.S. be buried in Canada? (Because she's still alive!) What did one campfire say to the other? (Shall we go out tonight?) What did the quilt say to the bed? (I've got you covered!) Why are movie stars always cool? (Because they have so many fans!) What is round and extremely violent? (A vicious circle!) What's the biggest problem with snow boots? (They melt!) What gets wetter the more it dries? (A towel!) Where can you find an ocean with no water? (On a map!) What did the ocean say to the beach? (Nothing, it just waved!) Why do you get if you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier? (A hot-diggity-dog!) What kind of hair do oceans have? (Wavy!) What washes up on very small beaches? (Microwaves!) What did one flag say to the other? (Nothing, it just waved!) Why did the clown go to the doctor? (Because he was feeling a little funny!) Why don't cannibals eat clowns? (Because they taste funny!) Pencils could be made with erasers on both ends, but that would be pointless. An invisible man married an invisible woman. Their kids are nothing to look at. What's brown and sticky? (A stick!) What do you call a boomerang that doesn't return? (A stick!) He wondered why the boomerang kept getting bigger until it hit him. She couldn't remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to her. Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? (Because then it would be a foot!) What happens when you throw a white hat into the Black Sea? (It gets wet!) What do prisoners use to call each other? (Cellphones!) What common 11-letter word is always spelled incorrectly? (Incorrectly!) What only starts to work after it's fired? (A rocket!) What do you find in the middle of nowhere? (The letter "h"!) What's at the end of everything? (The letter "g"!) What starts with a "p", ends with an "e" and has a million letters in it? (The Post Office!) What's green and sings? (Elvis Parsley!) What did one toilet say to the other toilet? (You look flushed!) What gives you the power and strength to walk through walls? (A door!) Why did Superman cross the road? (To get to the supermarket!) Why is it cold on Christmas? (Because it's in Decembrrrr!) What did one volcano say to the other volcano? (I lava you!) Where should a 500 pound monster go? (On a diet!) What nails do carpenters hate to hit? (Fingernails!) What happened when the magician got mad? (She pulled her hare out!) Did you hear about the actor who fell through the theater's floor? (It was just a stage he was going through!) What always comes at the beginning of parades? (The letter "p"!) What do snowmen like to eat for breakfast? (Frosted Flakes!) What do lawyers wear to court? (Lawsuits!) What did the inventor of the door-knocker win? (The no-bell prize!) Did you hear about the human cannonball? (He got fired!) What happened to the woman who fell into the upholstery machine? (She's fully recovered!) What do you do if a teenager rolls her eyes at you? (Pick them up and roll them back to her!) Two waves had a race. Who won? (They tide!)

What room has no walls? (A mushroom!) What goes up but never comes down? (Your age!) Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? (Because he was out standing in his field!) Why did the farmer ride his horse to town? (It was too heavy to carry!) What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the courtroom? (Odor in the court!) What happened when the lion ate the clown? (He felt funny!) What goes up and down but never moves? (Stairs!) Why did the picture go to jail? (Because it was framed!) Did you heard about the origami store? (It folded!) Why was everyone so tired on April 1st? (They had just finished a March of 31 days!) Why did the banker quit her job? (She lost interest!) What is the fastest country in the world? (Russia!) What is the coldest country in the world? (Chili!) What do you get when you throw a million books into the ocean? (A title wave!) What is the longest word? (Smiles, because there is a mile between the first and last letter!) Why wasn't the girl sad when her flashlight battery died? (Because she was de-lighted!) A neutron walks into a diner and orderes lunch. How much will that be?" The waiter said, "For you? No charge!" A photon checked into a hotel and is asked if she needs any help with her luggage. "No, I'm travelling light." Wanna hear a joke about potassium? ("K!") [Note: K is the symbol for potassium.] Do you know any good jokes about sodium? ("Na!") [Note: Na is the symbol for sodium.] What do you do with a dead chemist? (Barium!) Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? (Because he's a fungi!) To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. What do you call a man at the top of a hill? (Cliff!) What's a great name for a lawyer? (Sue!) What do you call a man in a hole? (Doug!) What do you call a woman standing on a tennis court? (Annette!) What do you call a man lying on your doorstep? (Matt!) What do you call a man in the mailbox? (Bill!) What do you call a woman with one leg? (Aileen!) What kind of rocks are never found in the ocean? (Dry ones!) Why do fireman wear red suspenders? (To keep their pants up!) Why is Britain the wettest country? (Because royalty has reigned there for years!) What runs but never walks? (Water!) What should you take on a trip to the desert? (A thirst-aid kit!) What do you call the little rivers that flow into the Nile? (Juve-Niles!) What do fish and maps have in common? (They both have scales!) What do cartographers give their sweethearts on Valentine's Day? (Compass roses!) What has one eye but cannot see? (A needle!) How did the Vikings send secret messages? (By Norse code!) What happened when the short fortune-teller who escaped from prison? (She was a small medium at large!) Did you hear about the fire at the circus? (The heat was in-tents!) Double negatives are a no-no! Knock Knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Don't cry, it's just me. Knock Knock! Who's there? Tarzan! Tarzan who? Tarzan stripes forever. Knock Knock! Who's there? Abby! Abby who? Abby birthday to you. Knock Knock! Who's there? Avenue! Avenue who? Avenue heard this joke before. Knock Knock! Who's there? Canoe! Canoe who? Canoe come over and play. Knock knock! Who's there? Little old lady? Little old lady who? Wow! I didn't know you could yodel! Knock knock! Who's there? Water? Water who? Water way to answer the door!

Related Activities:

Color Theme Page Activities and worksheets about colors.	Clown Riddle: Add and Subtract, then Decode the Riddle Solve the addition and subtraction problems, then use the alphabet code to answer the clown riddle, "Why did the clown go to the doctor?" (Answer - He was feeling funny). Or go to the answer page.	Dentist Appointment Joke: Divide, then Decode the Riddle Solve the division problems, then use the alphabet code to decode the answer to the dentist riddle, "What is the best time for a dentist appointment?" (Answer = Two thirty). Or go to the answer page.	Earth Joke: Multiply, then Decode the Riddle Solve the multiplication problems, then use the alphabet code to decode the answer to the Earth riddle, "What's in the middle of Earth?" (Answer = The letter "r"). Or go to the answer page.
Envelope Joke: Multiply, then Decode the Riddle Solve the multiplication problems, then use the alphabet code to decode the answer to the envelope riddle, "What word starts with an "e", ends with an "e", but has only one letter?" (Answer = An envelope). Or go to the answer page.	Ocean Rock Joke: Multiply, then Decode the Riddle Solve the multiplication problems, then use the alphabet code to decode the answer to the rock riddle, "What kind of rocks are never found in the ocean?" (Answer = Dry ones). Or go to the answer page.	Shamrock Joke: Divide, then Decode the Riddle Solve the division problems, then use the alphabet code to decode the answer to the St. Patrick's Day riddle, "Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?" (Answer = Real rocks are too heavy). Or go to the answer page.	St. Patrick's Day Riddle: Add, then Decode the Riddle Solve the addition problems, then use the alphabet code to solve the St. Patrick's Day riddle, "What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?" Answer: "He gets wet." Or go to the answer page.
St. Patrick's Day: Subtract, then Decode the Riddle Solve the subtraction problems, then use the alphabet code to answer the St. Patrick's Day riddle, "What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?" Answer - A sham rock. Or go to the answer page.	US Constitution Riddle: Add and Subtract, then Decode the Riddle Solve the addition and subtraction problems, then use the alphabet code to answer the US Constitution riddle, "Where was the US Constitution signed? (Answer - At the bottom). Or go to the answer page.	Valentine's Day: Subtract, then Decode the Riddle Solve the subtraction problems, then use the alphabet code to answer the Valentine's Day riddle, "What do you call a very small valentine?" Answer - A valentiny. Or go to the answer page.	Washington: Add, then Decode the Riddle Solve the addition problems, then use the alphabet code to decode the answer to the riddle, "What do you call doing 2,000 pounds of laundry?" (Answer = Washington). Or go to the answer page.

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