Rhymes

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House and Household Jokes and Riddles

What kind of plates do they use in space? (Flying saucers!) When is a door not a door? (When it is ajar/a jar!) Why did the woman run around her bed? (She wanted to catch up on her sleep!) Why do fluorescent lights hum? (Because they forgot the words!) Why did the house go to the doctor? (Because it had a window pane/pain!) What did the quilt say to the bed? (I've got you covered!) What gives you the power and strength to walk through walls? (A door!) What did one toilet say to the other toilet? (You look flushed!) How do you know if there's a dinosaur under your bed? (Your nose hits the ceiling!) What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed? (Find somewhere else to sleep!) Did the dinosaur take a bath? (Why, is there one missing?) How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? (Down in the mouth!) How does a penguin build its house? (Igloos it together!) What is Irish and left out on the lawn all summer? (Paddy O'Furniture!) What room is useless for a ghost? (A living room!) What does a frog say when it washes a window? (Rub it, rub it, rub it!)

What gets wetter the more it dries? (A towel!) What room has no walls? (A mushroom!) What did one wall say to the other wall? (I'll meet you at the corner!) Mother: "Did you take a bath?" Little boy: "Why, is one missing?" What goes up when the rain comes down? (An umbrella!) Why do witches fly on brooms? (Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!) How do you know if there's a dinosaur in your refrigerator? (Look for footprints in the pizza!) Did the dinosaur take a bath? (Why, is there one missing?!) When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet? (When it's not raining!) Why was the broom late? (It over swept!) How do you warm up a room after it's been painted? (Give it a second coat!) Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house? (Any kind! A house can't jump!) How many skunks does it take to stink up a house? (A phew!) How do teddy bears keep their house cool in summer? (They use bear conditioning!) Did you hear the joke about the corduroy pillow? Yes, it made headline! Knock Knock! Who's there? Doris! Doris who? Doris locked, that's why I knocked.

Related Activities:

House and Dwelling Theme Page Activities and worksheets about homes.

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