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Jokes and Riddles for Kids
Pick a topic and read all the hilarious, corny jokes you'll ever need.
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|All Holiday Jokes||Halloween||St. Patrick's Day||Thanksgiving|
|Holiday Jokes and Riddles|
Why didn't the mummy have any friends?|
(Because he was wrapped up in himself!)
What road has the most ghosts haunting it?
Why is there a gate around cemeteries?
What do ghosts eat on Halloween?
Where do ghosts go when they're sick?
What position does a ghost play in soccer?
What are a ghost's favorite pants?
What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
What room is useless for a ghost?
What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
What did the skeleton order for dinner?
What do you call a skeleton who won't work?
What's a monster's favorite place to swim?
How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Where should a 500 pound monster go?
Why did the vampire get thrown out of the haunted house?
What did Dracula say about his girlfriend?
Why did the vampire flunk art class?
What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
What's the problem with twin witches?
Why do witches fly on brooms?
What do you call witches who live together?
What do you do with a green monster?
What do witches ask for at hotels?
What do little monsters eat?
What do ghosts use to clean their hair?
Why didn't the zombie go to school?
Why did the cyclops stop teaching?
Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story?
Why are graveyards noisy?
(Because of all the coffin!)
What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit?
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
What do witches put on their bagels?
Why are vampires tough to get along with?
Do you know how to make a witch itch?
Where does Dracula keep his money?
What subject in school is easy for a witch?
How does a witch tell time?
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
What do ghosts like for dessert?
What's a monster's favorite play?
What do witches put on their hair?
What's a haunted chicken?
How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
What breed of dog does Dracula have?
What's big, scary, and has three wheels?
Which witch is good when it's dark?
What's the best way to talk to a monster?
What should you do if you're attacked by a group of clowns?
What animal is best at baseball?
Which circus performers can see in the dark?
Why don't bats live alone?
What animal is good at cricket?
What happened to the cannibal who was late to dinner?
St. Patrick's Day Jokes:
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?|
(Real rocks are too heavy!)
Why can't you iron a four-leaf clover?
What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
What type of bow cannot be tied?
Where can you always find gold?
Why do frogs like St. Patrick's Day?
Why did the elephant wear green sneakers?
What did the leprechaun do for a living?
How can you tell if a leprechaun is having a good time?
What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?
(He gets wet!)
What is Irish and left out on the lawn all summer?
Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
When is an Irish potato not an Irish potato?
What do you call a diseased criminal?
Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?|
(Because he was out standing in his field!)
What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit?
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?
What always comes at the beginning of parades?
What should you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
What key won't open any door?|
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
What do you get when a turkey lays an egg on top of a barn?
Where do you find a turkey with no legs?
What do you call it when it rains turkeys?
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
Why did the police arrest the turkey?
(They suspected it of fowl play!)
Which side of a turkey has the most feathers?
Why do turkeys lay eggs?
What's the most musical part of a turkey?
If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from?
Daughter: Mum, can I have a canary for Christmas?
What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
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